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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for thinking christenings are

90 replies

Samcro · 26/08/2019 16:52

out of fashion now? was just randomly thinking about them and realised how long ago I last went to one.

OP posts:
pipnchops · 27/08/2019 19:54

Totally get why non Christians wouldn't have their child Christened but I think it's wrong of people to say they don't agree with forcing babies to become Christians by getting them Christened. Am I alone in thinking is a nice thing to do if you believe in it and that it's not about forcing your children to be Christians when they grow up? They're still free to choose another religion or none at all. I do agree that it seems to be in decline, maybe because of this attitude that is cruel to force it upon babies.

HarryElephante · 27/08/2019 19:56

Rather rude to suggest that the practicing Christians are behind the times and unfashionable IMO

In general the church does lag way behind the times on a lot of matters. So I think it's a reasonable thing to say.

Jurassicmuma · 27/08/2019 19:56

Still popular where i am, rural north. I go to 4/5 a year. But I would think it's more of an age thing surely? My friends are all just about hitting 30 so lots of children being born

LocalHobo · 27/08/2019 19:58

All three of my DC were christened - no Godparents though, DH and I thought that was a big ask of anyone, they are big commitments to adhere to - all over 18 now and only one has gone on to be confirmed.
As a Christian I see it as a positive if parents have a choice about christening their child, rather than doing it because it is expected. My village CofE church has many christenings but, as a proportion of babies born, it must be small percentage. No problem with that as there is no age limit to finding God.

RedCowboyBoots · 27/08/2019 20:02

In general the church does lag way behind the times on a lot of matters. So I think it's a reasonable thing to say.

If you also apply the same to all other world religions, but it always seems to be Christianity people seem comfortable mocking.

1Morewineplease · 27/08/2019 20:15

If you’re not Christian, and don’t believe in The Bible, why would you christen a child in a church? My husband and I don’t believe and didn’t christen ours. They’re in their twenties now.
Think that this might be a present grabbing exercise.
Have an informal naming ceremony or an ‘introduction to the world’ ceremony if you must. But it’s crass to accept gifts.

HarryElephante · 27/08/2019 20:21

If you also apply the same to all other world religions, but it always seems to be Christianity people seem comfortable mocking

Oh, I am equally dismissive of all religions. It was just that this is a Christian practice.

Quail15 · 27/08/2019 20:22

My dd is the only baby in our village (south East) baby/toddler group that has not been christened. However out of my wider family and friends I only two couples have had their kids christened - both to get their kids into the local school.

Both myself and my dB were christened but my dsis ( who is 10 years younger ) wasn't. I think the expectation to do it had gone by the time it got to her.

SandyY2K · 27/08/2019 21:19

Practicing Catholics will always baptise their child.

My DC went to catholic primary and secondary schools, so baptism and the rest of the sacraments was the norm.

As I said upthread...people are not necessarily having a big celebration...so unless you're family or a close friend, you won't be informed.

Littlemeadow123 · 29/08/2019 05:43

@HarryElephante

Hello. Modern Christian from a modern church here. Have you ever been to a Pentecostal church? Believe me, they couldn't get more modern if they tried. We sing upbeat Christian songs (not hymns, not that there is anything wrong with hymns) to the accompaniment to electric guitars, keyboards, drums. We have dedications and baptisms instead of christenings. We do not ostracize divorced people or unmarried mothers, we were thrilled when gay marriage was legalized, women and men are seen as equal etc. We don't believe in religion, religion is a strict set of rules. We do however believe in a relationship with God. There is a big difference between the two concepts. We are extremely family orientated too.

This kind of church is getting more and more popular.

Namechangeymcnamechange11 · 29/08/2019 06:09

Christenings are becoming less of 'the norm' or the done thing unless you are a practicing Christian. The rise in baby showers probably goes hand in hand with that - it's a way of celebrating the child and their birth without a christening.
Our DC are baptised, but we are practicing Christians. I know of a fair few babies that have been, but that's socialising with the people in our church/playgroup, rather than because it's a traditional to be blindly followed.
I don't know of anyone who has had their child christened without being a practicing Christian, especially now that baby showers are more acceptable.

PurBal · 29/08/2019 06:42

The Christians I know have Christenings (or welcoming ceremonies if they don't believe in infant Baptism). The Atheists I know tend not to.

PurBal · 29/08/2019 06:50

I feel like lots of people are arguing that religion is a choice and infants shouldn't be baptised.

There are lots of reasons why we baptise children. One is to welcome them into a community UNTIL they decide IF they decide at all that they want to confirm those promises.

There are a lot of arguments for and against infant baptism amongst Christians. But if you do believe in infant baptism then the whole "letting them choose" thing is literally part of it.

AnneElliott · 29/08/2019 08:31

There's still lots of baptisms at our church - but it's RC and everyone who goes there will baptise their children.

MIL turned up at the hospital when I had DS telling me that "baptism lessons start next Friday"! It is often a big deal for RC families.

StroppyWoman · 29/08/2019 08:58

DH and I were both christened because we were both eldest children and our parents folded to grandparental pressure (1970s)
Our younger siblings weren’t (our parents stood up for themselves with the subsequent offspring 😉)
Our children weren’t, nor were most of our friends’ children. Unless you are a member of a church (or are angling for a place at a church school) it’s pretty rare around here

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