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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for thinking christenings are

90 replies

Samcro · 26/08/2019 16:52

out of fashion now? was just randomly thinking about them and realised how long ago I last went to one.

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 26/08/2019 22:20

I think people used to have their kids christened because it was expected of them, rather than because they were actually practising Christians - but these days, people don't necessarily feel the need.

My older siblings were christened in the 1960s/70s in the but I wasn't. When I asked why, my mum said 'Dad put his foot down' which I took to mean that he decided he wasn't going to lie in church about believing in God for a third time after going through it twice before. He also refused to allow a religious service at his parents' funerals.

Parky04 · 26/08/2019 22:26

My two DCs had naming ceremonies. In my opinion, it is not our decision to make. If my two boys want to get christened then they are now old enough to make that decision themselves, although that won't happen as neither believe in god.

Yellowpolkadot · 26/08/2019 22:35

We got DD christened. I come from a catholic family, didn’t have a church wedding (DGM refused to come), but I guess I like the idea of DD belonging to the same religion. We aren’t active in the church community but do attend a few times a year.

Mil kicked off as she wanted DD to be christened CofE DH didn’t even realise he has been christened and could only ever recall going to church as an adult, with me, to a Catholic Church.

We have a mix in our friendship group of christened and not christened 🤷🏻‍♀️

catx1606 · 26/08/2019 22:37

I personally think christenings are only done because it's the done thing and its expected. People saying it's a good way of getting the family together, that's what birthdays and Christmas time is used for. Religion is a bi part of someone's life so they should be allowed to wait until they are old enough to understand what it's all about before making that decision. Christenings are a religious service so why have one of you're not religious. It's like couples getting married in a church when they're not religious bit they like the look of the church. Sorry to offend anyone but the last christening I went to was a joke. The mum and the four god mothers (one picked on the day because the original one didn't turn up) giggled their way through the readings and all the mum could think about was the party afterwards. When the vicar said about them visiting the following week to introduce their son to the others who were involved in the church, I knew that would never happen as the only time the couple went to church was for their wedding, and other weddings and christenings. To me, this just made a mockery of the whole thing.

I much prefer a baby naming ceremony if you're not religious.

SandyY2K · 26/08/2019 22:42

I think people are making them smaller family events to save money.

Jsmith99 · 26/08/2019 22:51

I don’t think the decline in christenings is about ‘fashion’. It’s about wider changes in social attitudes toward religion.

In the 21st century it’s fine to say you don’t believe in god and are not religious. People no longer feel they have to pay lip service to a faith they don’t really believe in and they no longer feel they have to go through a hypocritical charade called baptism. They also take the view that the child should be able to make up their own mind about religion when they are old enough.

BeanBag7 · 27/08/2019 00:47

I remember my BIL being worried about telling his (not at all religious) grandparents that their daughter wasnt being christened. They didnt care less! I think some people still have christenings because the family expects it but this is becoming less usual.

beingmum39 · 27/08/2019 01:00

catx1606

4 godmothers for a boy?? Should be 2 godfathers and a godmother for a boy.

I

CountSnackula · 27/08/2019 01:16

We're Catholic (practising), and just had our DD baptised this weekend. The only other people I know who've had their kids baptised are Christians (of denominations that do infant baptism).

highheelsandbobblehats · 27/08/2019 09:26

I'm surprised at the number of posters on here that haven't been christened. DH and I are both 37, neither one of us have been christened, but growing up (in completely different parts of the UK) we were unusual in our peer groups. Everyone we knew then, and indeed all of our adult friends now have been christened as it was tradition in the early 80s.
We haven't had our children christened as we're atheists and have only been to a handful of christenings for our social group. My nephew was christened, which surprised me as DB is isn't religious at all and I didn't think my SIL was either. However they've also chosen to send DN to a Catholic school (he was christened CofE) so they keep surprising me.
One of my friends isn't religious at all, and nor is her husband. She had both her children christened. I asked her about it once and she told me that she did it because both she and her husband are christened and she wanted to cover all bases to make sure they ended up in the same place after death. I was a bit Confused at that.

MissPepper8 · 27/08/2019 09:39

Sounds like it all depends on where a person lives. I'm my town they're not so common. I was never christened but DH was and we got married in a church (not for religion but for tradition as DH family had used that church for everything).

DS isn't christened, but Mil is a vicar and constantly insists on it. Despite herself not christening very many children. She's had 4 since moving to her parish 6 months ago and 3 of them were older children, but she lives in a small town.

Last one I went to was in 2010 and it was combined with a wedding.

walkintheparc · 27/08/2019 09:43

I live in quite a traditionally catholic country and I don't have any friends or close family that are religious/Christian. Maybe because it's not really part of culture like it once was, there's no pressure to be religious or not?

WaitrosePigeon · 27/08/2019 09:53

No. I was confirmed in my early teens (my choice) and I'm C of E.

Interesting how it’s all so different. Maybe different denominations use different terminology. We are at a Pentecostal/Evangelical church and we use the word baptism.

araiwa · 27/08/2019 10:01

Good

Religion is slowly collapsing like a flan in a cupboard in europe

Vanillaradio · 27/08/2019 10:31

I have only been to 2 (of siblings), children of dh's friend. None in my friendship group (Although a close friend is pregnant and she and her dh are regular churchgoers so imagine they will have one).
Mil wanted us to have one for ds. I read the words of the ceremony then asked if she really wanted us to stand up in church and lie.........Turned out she was concerned ds couldn't be buried in consecrated ground. She thought dh and ds were going to be buried with her(not me obvs!) I pointed out ds's future burial location would most likely be the choice of his future partner and or children and hopefully none of us would be around to have anything to do with it!

Lillyringlet · 27/08/2019 19:28

Not sure if I know anyone but some my Christian friends who have done this. Most of my church friends do welcome services instead as they believe that kids are fine until they are adults. And it should be their choice.

Tigger001 · 27/08/2019 19:40

I'm getting my DS in a few weeks with his cousin (RC), I have to admit my main reasoning is schooling though 😳😳😳.

RedCowboyBoots · 27/08/2019 19:42

It's a religious rite of passage, not a fashion. Hmm

HarryElephante · 27/08/2019 19:43

I hope so. It may mean religion is on the wane.

june2007 · 27/08/2019 19:43

I rather people did this for the right reasons then because it's what is done. I had thanksgivings for my two (in a church.) If it's what you want to do fine if not then don't some places do naming ceremonies which I don't really get.

cheesydoesit · 27/08/2019 19:49

Yes it is a religious rite of passage but it has been seen by some people to be fashionable and used by others as an excuse for a piss up, for presents and in order to gain admission into religious schools.

blahblahblahblahhh · 27/08/2019 19:49

I christened my baby in July! If you are religious it's important nothing to do with being old fashioned!

blahblahblahblahhh · 27/08/2019 19:51

Also I should say the ceremony was very modern not at all traditional or old fashioned!

RedCowboyBoots · 27/08/2019 19:52

I christened my baby in July! If you are religious it's important nothing to do with being old fashioned!

Indeed. Rather rude to suggest that the practicing Christians are behind the times and unfashionable IMO.

BogglesGoggles · 27/08/2019 19:54

Maybe people are just less religious and society more ethnically diverse? We didn’t gave one because neither of us in Christian nor are our families. This is true of a lot of our friends as well. I’ve never actually attended a christening.