Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect at least an apology.

58 replies

Rungoutoflife · 25/08/2019 22:53

NC but regularly post.

Last night we were all watching a film (dh, me, four kids 5,8,12,14)
All summer I've been really pushing healthy eating and cutting down crap as DD 12 has really put some weight on this year (obv haven't said anything to her)
Dh gave them all a biscuit (after dinner and pudding) fine, but then said I'd like to give you another biscuit but your mum won't allow it. I got a bit cross as fed up with being seen as the bad one, he reacted by punching the telly and storming off. Telly is now broken and we only have one. Aibu to expect an apology? Dh says I'm overreacting over a telly which he will replace. Fwiw I'm now home alone with the kids for three days with no telly. I'm not even cross about the telly but how he can't see the problem.

OP posts:
SuzieQ10 · 26/08/2019 00:47

Did he get so angry he punched the TV in front of your children? If he did... I'm not sure why any sensible parent would allow a man like this to stay.

Eastie77 · 26/08/2019 00:47

I'll be honest: the only thing I find more disturbing than your 'D'H's behaviour is the fact you don't mind about the smashed TV and are more preoccupied with getting an apology.

I hope for the sake of your DC you take onboard some of the advice you've been given on this thread.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 26/08/2019 01:04

Apology?

I'd want a divorce.

And in fact, many years ago, that's exactly what I got.

Men like this are a nightmare for women and children.

OP - please make plans to separate and divorce, and keep yourself and your children safe.

www.womensaid.org.uk

IsobelRae23 · 26/08/2019 01:09

Apology? Seriously? I’d be separating if my partner done that. He got that angry and couldn’t control his temper over biscuits.
Next time it won’t be a telly, it could be you or the children. Or does that already happen? Because you don’t seem fazed by it, just annoyed over an apology.

SadOtter · 26/08/2019 01:46

he punched a TV over a parenting decision you expected him to back you up on? unless when you said "I got a bit cross as fed up with being seen as the bad one" you actually meant to type "I turned into the hulk and laid into him" he owes you and the kids a huge apology.

mathanxiety · 26/08/2019 01:50

What other violence or displays of rage does he engage in?

AliSxo · 26/08/2019 01:55

Next time he punches the telly wait til he's in bed and smash it over his head. Sounds like you deserve better xx

wildcherries · 26/08/2019 02:05

So he's punching up the TV and painting you in a bad light with your kids. And then telling you you're overreacting when you bring it up. I'd rethink my marriage in your place. I'm sorry that happened. I bet you and the children were shocked.

Sweetpea55 · 26/08/2019 06:29

Punching the TV all because if a biscuit?
Lord above.. He needs sorting out

WhoKnewBeefStew · 26/08/2019 06:32

He punched the telly so hard it now no longer works over you trying to help your dd eat healthy and get to a healthy weight? I think an apology is the least of your worries

AmIThough · 26/08/2019 06:40

Did he say it in a jokey way or seriously?
What did you actually say in return?
Did he say anything before punching the tv?
Then what happened?

Regardless, reacting with violence to any situation, especially in front of kids, is unacceptable and an apology is not enough.

What you should both be doing is apologising to the children.
Then you should split up.

BarbariansMum · 26/08/2019 06:50

Forget the apology, you need to get away.

8by8 · 26/08/2019 06:56

If my DH lashes out in anger and smashed something, me and the children would leave.

Straightaway.

That kind of lashing out is terrifying for children to see, and is often followed up by violence towards wives or children.

I’d be out the door and staying at my mums while he had therapy and we considered whether or not the marriage would survive.

So an apology really isn’t the issue here.

Shoxfordian · 26/08/2019 07:02

He's violent. This time it's the tv, next time it could be you he punches or one of your children. Divorce him

HalfBearOtherHalfCat · 26/08/2019 07:33

He sounds horrible. I wouldn't want an apology, I'd want to protect my children from him.

OhLookItsThatTime · 26/08/2019 07:38

Must have been some punch to break it! Hope the dc didn't witness it.

Ohmygoodnessreally · 26/08/2019 07:40

Are you actually asking this for real??

Original poster
Rungoutoflife · 26/08/2019 07:46

Thank you all. It's not the TV I'm worried about (which not so DH thinks I am) it's the action, and the fact he doesn't see that it's a problem.
Interesting to read that people think I'm minimizing this as dh thinks I'm overreacting.
I just feel so very sad, it came completely out of the blue (the anger not the undermining comment, I don't get why I have no support as he was the one that initially said to me that she was putting on weight)

I've not posted before about husband so I'm not the dinner poster.

OP posts:
Hmmmbop · 26/08/2019 08:27

Has he had these angry outbursts before? Even if not violent?

Aprillygirl · 26/08/2019 09:21

Interesting to read that people think I'm minimizing this as dh thinks I'm overreacting.

He thinks you're overreacting or he wants you to think you're overreacting? Either way the fact that he thinks he (or won't admit to) doing anything wrong is the worst part because it means he will think nothing of reacting violently to something he doesn't like to hear again, and before you know it you'll find yourself tip toeing round him scared to say anything that might upset him.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 26/08/2019 09:25

He doesn’t think you’re overreacting, he just wants you to stop calling out his applying behaviour so he can get back to his normal cushy life without you having a go at him.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 26/08/2019 09:27

He needs you to think you’re overreacting otherwise he won’t get away with it.

KUGA · 26/08/2019 09:50

That's not normal behaviour.
There`s more to it than a biscuit.

Cryalot2 · 26/08/2019 09:59

Gosh op his behaviour was way out of order, he has a bigger problem if he thinks he only has to replace the tv and all willbe well.
Is this normal behaviour? You need to change the locks fast and get a divorce. At least a separation and a restraining order from him.
Sorry but you and the kids are not safe with him.
Call the domestict abuse helpline, even just to chat. 08088021414 Flowers

sounfairso · 26/08/2019 10:14

This can't be the first event like this?

Swipe left for the next trending thread