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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just leave my relationship?

63 replies

LutonLoux · 24/08/2019 23:01

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months, and I'm way down the list of his priorities. He does nothing for me except clean the house, he's financially dependant on me and his friends come first, we do absolutely nothing together and when he does go out its all night with no contact to me whatsoever.

I asked if he wanted to get some tea today, because its bank holiday and he said no, I asked if he wanted to go out and he said there's nowhere that me and him can go, yet he goes everywhere with his friends. He took my bank card with him unknowingly and I've no money on me to get food or anything, he said he will be home "Inna few hours" I am so fed up and part of me thinks I should just leave, but the other half is thinking I expect too much and should just appreciate the time we spend together, but during that time we do nothing but sit watching films or food/clothes shopping.

Any advice

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 24/08/2019 23:10

Run like fuck. Then run some more.

Els1e · 24/08/2019 23:15

Yep, I would walk (very quickly) away. Good luck OP. You deserve better.💐

Purplesparks1 · 24/08/2019 23:15

DP and I have been together 21 years and have two DC. If he took my bank card without asking there would be hell to pay, and vice versa. Run, and don't look back!

taytosandwich · 24/08/2019 23:17

Why would you pay for someone you have known 8 months Confused dump him ASAP!

Chitarra · 24/08/2019 23:19

Definitely leave! I can’t believe he took your bank card to go out on the piss with his mates!! You’re seriously being a mug here OP.

LutonLoux · 24/08/2019 23:22

He doesn't know my pin anyway and he's not took it on purpose. Not that makes a difference.

OP posts:
Babooshkar · 24/08/2019 23:23

What would you tell a friend to do in this situation? Confused

WhyBirdStop · 24/08/2019 23:26

Check your online banking, he doesn't need your pin for contactless. If he's financially dependent on you how is he paying for his night out? He sounds a treat OP, good choice.

Smelborp · 24/08/2019 23:32

How do you mean he didn’t take it on purpose?

I would demand it back. He’s effectively stolen it and he doesn’t need your pin for contactless.

There’s no way this should be a relationship of 8 months. He’s using you massively. There are obviously places to take a partner, he just doesn’t want to

Branleuse · 24/08/2019 23:35

Your relationship sounds very boring and one sided. Id move on.

BlueSuffragette · 24/08/2019 23:35

He's taking the piss. Leave him. Get your bank card back and hide it. He's stealing your money and treats you like shit.

Greeborising · 24/08/2019 23:38

You certainly don’t expect too much, quite the opposite.
Value yourself

jelly79 · 24/08/2019 23:41

Why did you mention the bank card if he didn't take it on purpose?

Sounds toxic after 8 months I wouldn't bother

Do you live together??

NeelixFelicis · 24/08/2019 23:42

He's a cocklodger.

It sounds like you're little more than a warm bed and a cashpoint to him, what a loser he is.

Run like fuck.

theWarOnPeace · 24/08/2019 23:42

You would be absolutely insane to put up with this for a minute longer. This isn’t normal or acceptable at all. He’s a pig.

aweedropofsancerre · 24/08/2019 23:43

You don’t know if your expecting too much? 8 mths, he is financially dependent on you, doesn’t go out with you but goes out with his mates. What exactly are you getting from this? Raise your standards and move on

WhenPushComesToShove · 24/08/2019 23:43

Can't think why you'd stay...

LutonLoux · 24/08/2019 23:45

I don't have a contactless card

OP posts:
Thehop · 24/08/2019 23:47

Please leave before it’s too late.

Croquembou · 24/08/2019 23:48

It's been 8 months. It should still be magical. Dump him and get on with your life.

Walnutwhipster · 24/08/2019 23:50

Run!

LutonLoux · 24/08/2019 23:56

I want to leave but I love him. I don't have much self esteem anymore. Would an ultimatum be unreasonable

OP posts:
justilou1 · 24/08/2019 23:59

No wonder you don’t have self esteem. You’re basically financially keeping someone who doesn’t like you. Move on!

Chickychoccyegg · 25/08/2019 00:00

wth, financially dependent on you after 8 months????? for goodness sake woman, get a grip and dump his scrounging arse, why are you funding all his nights out with his friends/life in general anyway,you barely know him.

1Morewineplease · 25/08/2019 00:04

Move on love... he doesn’t appreciate you or respect you. It’s ‘him, him,him.’
You deserve so much more.