To just leave my relationship?

[LutonLoux]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months, and I'm way down the list of his priorities. He does nothing for me except clean the house, he's financially dependant on me and his friends come first, we do absolutely nothing together and when he does go out its all night with no contact to me whatsoever.

I asked if he wanted to get some tea today, because its bank holiday and he said no, I asked if he wanted to go out and he said there's nowhere that me and him can go, yet he goes everywhere with his friends. He took my bank card with him unknowingly and I've no money on me to get food or anything, he said he will be home "Inna few hours" I am so fed up and part of me thinks I should just leave, but the other half is thinking I expect too much and should just appreciate the time we spend together, but during that time we do nothing but sit watching films or food/clothes shopping.

Any advice

An ultimatum will do nothing but prolong your misery. And you ARE miserable, no matter how much you think you love him. Why not cut him loose so you’ve got the chance of finding someone you can be happy with?

And about the “I love him” excuse: is that really enough when he clearly doesn’t love you? I’m not trying to be mean, I just think it’s so sad that you want to waste your life on a loser who is using you.

Why do people shack up at a drop of a hat? Use your head! Sorry I should not comment. I’m just old.

I will almost guarantee that being out all night with no contact means he's either doing drugs or other women.

Just throw his stuff out, right now. Bag it up if you want to be halfway decent. Hire a cleaner and get some counselling for your self-esteem. Honestly, you're a meal ticket for him and you deserve better.

What the actual fuck??

For God's sake - leave him.

How can you possibly love him?!

If you want to repair your self-esteem, then you need to leave this drop-kick right now.

Being alone is surely better than this.

I'm joining the chorus. YABU to give him an ultimatum, he won't change. You've only been together 8 months and he's financially dependent on you? How did that happen?

This is the 3rd thread like this I've read here today. What is wrong with you women? Why do you "love" him? What is it about him that you love?

Dump him, and do the Freedom Programme, and get some therapy for your self esteem issues. You are not expecting too much, you should be expecting much, much more.

He doesn’t love you. Sounds like he doesn’t eevn want to be seen with you. Have some self respect and leave.

He's a loser
Dump him

8 months in to a relationship you should be having the best time. And guess what - this is not love, because love makes you feel absolutely freakin fantastic.

Go work on your self esteem, dump him and move on.

He treats you like shit and you let him. He’s not going to change. Walk away.

What type of ultimatum are you hoping will work OP?

He is no good for your self esteem you deserve much more

Dump his arse.

8 months?! I have food in the fridge older than your relationship.

Life is too short, it really is. Move on, don't look back.

Leave him and get some counselling.
Before you get into another relationship.

Please please leave. He goes out without you because he literally doesn't want to be with you, he would prefer to be somewhere you aren't.

If your asking onhere for verification then odds are you know what you need to do. Leave and never look back

What do you love about him @LutonLoux ?

Run run run

You can give him an ultimatum, but the ultimatum would have to be, “Please turn into a person who actually loves me.... or I’ll leave”

Would an ultimatum be unreasonable

It would be pointless. He'd ignore it and you won't follow through.

Can you move back home? Whose house is it? Who pays the rent?

An ultimatum is absolutely unreasonable as he’s still treated you like shit during the honeymoon phase. This will never get better even if he fakes making an effort to keep you sweet for a short time. This relationship will being you nothing but misery. If you want self esteem then leave.

This isn't a relationship.

He's your lodger, with whom you, presumably, have sex. And who doesn't pay rent.

You may love him, but he doesn't love you, otherwise he would show it by taking you out with him and his friends, being pleasant around the house, chatting to you ..

Do you know why he cleans the house? It's so, when you tell him to go, he can put his arm around you and say 'aw, babes, but we're so GOOD together, look at all the things I DO for you!' and you can't actually laugh right in his face.

Get rid.

Please think about how miserable your life will be if you stay with this man. When you leave him , you will cry for a while, you will feel desperately sad , but it will pass . It really will. Then you will feel relieved and you will thank yourself for giving yourself a chance of a better future. You need to be with someone who wants to spend time with you and who loves you back. You won't regret your decision to do this.

Please don’t move lovers into your home so quickly next time.

It really is a bad idea. Far better to watch and assess how they live, slowly, with a bit of distance for insurance. Now you’re stuck turfing him out of his home. You could have settled it with a quick ‘I don’t think it’s working out’ meetup, if he was living elsewhere (like an adult).

Don’t bring stray puppies home.

He doesn't even like you let alone love you. Get your arse out of and don't move in with piss taking little freeloaders in future.

Does he work?