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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that...

28 replies

IceAndASlice123 · 24/08/2019 21:27

I was told by a family member "You need to do some something next year so you can say you achieved something. ' 😐

I am 34, single, no kids (Dont want them, one reason being I don't want to pass my ulcerative colitis onto them ) and have a job but a low paying one in childcare.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 24/08/2019 21:50

Make that 1 think getting away from the person who said that!

AquarianSquirrel · 24/08/2019 22:17

Great response Stone. How horrible to say that to you. It would be lovely to be paid loads for your work but low paying doesn't equal low importance. You're looking after kids and that's incredibly important, helping the next generation.

We seem to have higher expectations of ourselves nowadays. Plus it seems more difficult to meet them. Don't for a second think on that comment.

Maybe they're thinking that about themselves and deflecting to you so they don't have to face it?

herculepoirot2 · 24/08/2019 22:19

I suppose I would just think, “Do I?” Do you think you need to achieve anything?

littlepaddypaws · 24/08/2019 22:23

if you are happy with your life that's all that matters, ignore this negative attitude. you might like to set yourself little goals to achieve but do them for you not someone else who comes across as rude.

Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 24/08/2019 22:24

Good point. Should have turned it back on them.
I know I am not successful by any stretch in any way but I do feel it was hurtful to make a comment like that.

OP posts:
Pennyeleanor · 24/08/2019 22:25

That’s a horrible thing to say. You don’t need to ‘achieve’ anything just for the sake of it! Live your life as you want to OP. I’m sure you do lots of things that are an achievement even if that’s just being a kind person every day

sheshootssheimplores · 24/08/2019 22:26

That speaks much more about them than you OP!

IAmALazyArse · 24/08/2019 22:28

You need to do some something next year so you can say you achieved something.

Learn embroidery and make them a present.
Revenge AND Christmas/birthday present in one😁

To feel sad that...
Original poster
IceAndASlice123 · 24/08/2019 22:36

I am a kind person. I may not be successful but I am definitely kind.
I know that isn't much by society's standards of what's important but I have that going for me at least.

OP posts:
toffeepinklady · 24/08/2019 22:38

Utilise the Mumsnet classic, 'Did you mean to be so rude?'

AquarianSquirrel · 24/08/2019 22:43

Good one, I am!

AquarianSquirrel · 24/08/2019 22:44

That wasn't some sort of yoda comment. Was referring to the embroidery idea!

nowifi · 24/08/2019 22:45

Tell them you're going to slap them round the face and that wi be your achievement done Grin

WhenPushComesToShove · 24/08/2019 23:00

Dear God, how dare they. How about they learn to be thoughtful and kind (which you already are) and that could be their achievement for the year! If you live well in kindness and with contentment I think you are more successful than most people could ever hope to be

Oakandlove · 24/08/2019 23:03

You say you are kind OP. A small kindness shown to one creature or one person on a random day can change their life forever. Achievement and success is all relative. The world needs kind people more than anything.

IncrediblySadToo · 24/08/2019 23:08

How are you related to this incredibly rude person?

What have they achieved??

EskiVodkaCranberry · 24/08/2019 23:24

Don't ever believe you're not successfulThanks
Think how many lives you've shaped during your career in childcare, how many times people trusted you to look after, teach and care for their children.
Whoever spoke to you like that needs to reevaluate their own life, it was a cruel and incorrect comment.

Wellhelloxx11xx · 24/08/2019 23:25

Wow what a fucking dick. I was miserable in my “successful” job, if you are happy OP then you are successful.

I’m guessing the cow that made this comment is a brain surgeon or something? /s

Wellhelloxx11xx · 24/08/2019 23:27

Also she’s probably miserable. Happy, nice people don’t make bitchy digs like that. I’d have probably said something equally rude about her personal life back.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 24/08/2019 23:27

What a horrible thing to say!
Achieve inner calm by avoiding this person.

FazakerlyJackie · 24/08/2019 23:56

A thoughtful and kind person who works in childcare?
What a star.
You are worth your weight in gold, thank you for all you do Smile

BlueBirdGreenFence · 25/08/2019 00:09

Achievements are overrated. Contentment is what matters. Are you content OP? If you are, well done. Most people aren't. If you aren't well then focus on what you can change to make that happen.

StoneofDestiny · 25/08/2019 08:34

OP
Make that 1 thing getting away from the person who said that!

Of course I meant thing! (Not think)

LynetteScavo · 25/08/2019 09:37

You are a kind person who works in childcare? How is that not being a successful human being?

How are we measuring success? By the amount of money we gave in the bank? By how many foreign holidays we have?

People who say things like this make us feel so bad. I don't know why they do it. I have someone in my life who is similar OP, and they wonder why I avoid them.

Bubsworth · 25/08/2019 09:43

Happiness where you are is success! I worked in a minimum wage job that is seen as lowly and undesirable by many, yet those were the happiest years of my working life - yes even with no children, fertility problems and being single! How dare that woman make you feel like you need to 'achieve' something else to be her version of successful.