to leave DP's uni friends weekend to meet my best friend who lives abroad?

[detectivebird]

i'm currently away with dp, six of his friends from uni and their wives / girlfriends / babies. we're in the uk staying in a cottage around 300 miles from home for three nights. i've met them all many times before. it's a chilled weekend - boys playing cricket on the lawn, bbq, etc.

my best friend lives abroad (in europe so not hugely far away but still a two hour flight) and i've seen him once this year and seeing him again in november. by sheer coincidence he is going to be 30 miles away from where we are staying early afternoon tomorrow for a few hours. aibu to skip the country walk and sunday lunch we have planned for tomorrow, to go and meet him for 2.5 hours?

i've suggested it to dp to see how he feels about it and he doesn't seem that happy. he's never met my friend (due to the distance). my friend is gay and married in case that is relevant! just want to check whether i am being unreasonable.

I would 100% go!

I really hope you did go OP

Sitting around “watching the boys play cricket” sounds shit anyway. Why do these things never involve men sitting around “watching the girls do X”?
I hope you fucked off to see your mate and stumble back with sick on your shoes.

onioncrumble - yes, it all conjures a hideous Richard Curtisesque coterie of chums, but I might be a bit mean spirited today as I have a thumping headache.

I really hope you went.

If it was a romantic weekend for two, then obviously you couldn’t go. But it’s a big group trip with friends; HIS friends. Can an adult man really not cope with spending a few hours without his girlfriend in a group of people he’s actively chosen to go on holiday with?

The other thing to consider is the weird phenomenon of ‘group dynamics’ when you return, I’m betting it’ll be weird as on some level they’ll think you’ve betrayed the group.

Is this Mean Girls or Heathers? Surely adults don’t see an afternoon with a friend as a ‘betrayal’?

On my last holiday a few of us went on a day trip. My friend’s husband didn’t come because we’d had a big night the night before and he wanted to sleep and lie by the pool instead. Should she have nagged him to come and made him miserable? Stayed behind with him and missed out on the trip? Surely it was better that they both did what they wanted?

HariboLectar

sorry

It’s a few hours, I’d go and my DH wouldn’t think twice about it. We’ve done this sort of thing a number of times over the year, duck out on something for a few hours because of an opportunity.
But we’ve been together a loooong time and are comfortable with each other’s choices most of the times.

a hideous Richard Curtisesque coterie of chums

I would have no problem whatsoever with a friend or DH doing this and I know DH would be absolutely fine if I wanted to.go ( which I think I would)

Then again I suppose that is why DH and I are married to each other, we have similar relating styles whereas others might be different

Op if it would annoy you then I think as your DH seems like he would be unhappy with it then maybe don't do it.

thanks everyone it's so interesting to hear everyone's take.

we ended up compromising. i stayed around today, and we're going slightly out of our way on the drive home tomorrow to meet my friend somewhere else on his journey, with the added bonus that dp gets to meet him!

That sounds like the perfect solution.

Well that sounds like an excellent solution.

Had that not been an option, I'd have gone though. No-one is going to miss you for 3 hours when there are a dozen people plus babies and toddlers, and it is a relaxed group with no booked itinerary.