Back handed compliment

[BluebellsareBlue55]

My DD age 12 just said to me in M&S, "a woman was staring at you as you're so fat but don't worry I stared back at them for you. You're not the biggest person in here either, so who cares".

Gee, thanks! I think?

Anyone else get backhanded support or compliments.

You say you're happy with your size so did she just say it matter of factly?.If you refer to yourself as fat then I dont think she was being rude.

At 12 yrs old its easy to say the wrong thing .She thought she was helping you.

Your DD AND your DH are rude and thoughtless

Why is the DH getting a bashing? The only time OP mentioned her DH was after this comment. I'm sure the OP was only joking about him.

My son tells me I have a “big, fat tummy” fairly regularly. I don’t. He also loudly blames his farts on me. He’s 2 though...

Sounds really innocent to me. Kids are brutally honest at that age as they are so innocent but at least she had your back!

nice I’m sure at 12 she does understand the connotations. But that doesn’t mean she has to agree with them when she’s referring to her mother, who evidently doesn’t view her weight as being anything other than a fact.

@BluebellsareBlue55 (waving from the Govan Front).

I get backhanded compliments from DP all the time but it's actually the way he words things (wrongly). I'm used to it now though and don't take offence.

@Pennynotsowise
That made me laugh👍

Ha ha. Best answer on here. I was East Enclosure all the way in my skinny days, but god those seats are small.

Yes, this thread went wrong didn't it? Meant to be lighthearted. Hey ho.

I'm hopping about name changing so I bid you all farewell anyway! And yes, I don't have a problem being a size 24. I think I'm gorgeous, as does DH and DD

I'm a size 24. Size doesn't bother me at all and she knows that.

So why did she feel the need to say

You're not the biggest person in here either, so who cares ?

@ user1493759849

''Your DD AND your DH are rude and thoughtless, and you are enabling them by making out you don't care. Body shaming is rude and nasty. Plain and simple.''

I'm afraid you're allowing your intolerance of others to show dear :(

Telling the OP that she is 'pretending' to not be upset by DD and DH indeed ! LOL.

I'm quite sure the OP is fully aware of how she feels and does not need YOU to tell her !!!!

Are you, in fact, omnipresent ? Should we all begin bowing and scraping because YOU have told us mere mortals what we should say and how we feel ????

Your sheer ignorance and intolerance, mixed with pure audacity, is quite honestly terrifying.
That people like you, who judge everyone from an imaginary (and self proclaimed) pulpit, really don't understand that the people of the world are diverse and unique.
YOU are in no position to call posters liars or be singularly nasty to others !

If you cannot understand that other people are as entitled to their own thoughts and ideas, just as you are. But this doesn't mean you have carte blanche to be so horrible and nasty ! :(

My DS says I have a big belly sometimes. I just tell him I’m not fat, I’m pregnant and stick my stomach out. His face always drops. I don’t get the angst over being called fat by your children if you are

At 12 it sounds like she is trying to say "I don't care and I love you but you are quite big, maybe that's a problem?"

Op your daughter meant well. On a works night out years ago a colleague said to me “you look beautiful Byker...why don’t you make an effort for work?”

Serena Williams couldn’t have played a better backhand

I'm with walkintheparc - I wonder if your DD brought it up in a clearly unintentionally cack-handed way because she's actually concerned about how big you are and is old enough to understand the health implications of it and maybe doesn't know how else to raise it?

Ex-boyfriend went from a goatee to a full beard. My dad said ‘It really suits you. It makes your face look less... hollow’

@SaintWillibald - my dh does that too..

‘Wow you’re looking sexy’..... ‘(to me, anyway)’

It gives me the rage, makes me feel like he thinks that no one else could possibly find me desirable