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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I don’t like my present can I swap it- kids picked it

64 replies

NotSureAtAllReally · 24/08/2019 07:03

I’ve had a charm bracelet for years which I’ve always said I will give to my dd when she’s older. Dh and kids have brought me a new charm bracelet and 3 charms one is a ‘mom’ charm. My dcs have picked out things they thought I would like - but they aren’t what I would ever choose to wear.
Do I suck it up and wear it or tell the truth and swap for something else?!

OP posts:

Rainbowknickers · 25/08/2019 23:02

@jamhandprints thank you
I take great pleasure buying things for my in laws but then over think it to the point I’ve been known to take stuff back cos I think they’ll hate it
It’s my mothers problem not mine I guess

Aprillygirl · 25/08/2019 23:12

It would be really cruel of you to tell the kids you don't like a gift they've picked out for you Wear it for a couple of days, then take it off. If they notice you not wearing it anymore tell them you are keeping it for best then just keep it as a keepsake, which you may appreciate when you're a bit more mature and less materialistic.

Andysbestadventure · 25/08/2019 23:19

OP this just brought back memories of saving my pocket money for months - to buy my Mum some 'nice' bits of jewellery with her birthstone in (from HPJs when it was still going).

She pretty much told me at the time by the way she acted that she didn't like them at all. I was 11 and devastated.

I'm now 33 and crying at 11pm because I've realised how much of an arse my mother can actually be, and how I'd never react like that if my DS bought me something special from him, even if I didn't like it. He's only 2 but remembering how heartbroken I was, nope. I could never do that to him.

user1473878824 · 25/08/2019 23:34

“Oh darlings I love it so much I’m worried about losing a charm or it getting broken. So I’m saving it for very special occasions as it’s so precious.”

Then tell DH he’s getting a fuck off gold Disney medallion for his birthday.

user1473878824 · 25/08/2019 23:35

Also please don’t listen to people telling you you’re “materialistic” for not wanting to wear a Toy Story charm bracelet ffs!!!!

Aprillygirl · 25/08/2019 23:39

My mum was much the same, so I feel you Andysbestadventure Come to think of it I (and I'm sure most people) wouldn't even tell a friend if I didn't like a gift they'd bought me, so why anyone would want to hurt their own children's feelings I just can't fathom.

Aprillygirl · 25/08/2019 23:43

To my mind it is materialistic and grabby though user1473878824 because OP is more interested in the item rather than the thought that went into it.

Branleuse · 25/08/2019 23:44

No you definitely do not tell them you dislike it. Keep it. Even if you never wear it. The gift was that they chose this for you and gave it to you. They would have been excited. What it is, is less important.
All gifts from your children should be recieved gratefully. Kids get better at choosing the right gifts when older, but its still nice for them to experience the joy of giving

thecatinthetwat · 25/08/2019 23:46

Your DH let them pick Toy Story charms? Did he really think a grown woman would want to wear them?

No, he probably thought she’d like them to pick something themselves and that it would be special. Rather than him choosing for them, manipulatively.

PancakeAndKeith · 26/08/2019 00:07

I do worry about some of the levels of reading comprehension here. The op says that her DH steered them away from the Toy Story charms.

Is it because it says Mom and not Mum?

PancakeAndKeith · 26/08/2019 00:08

I’ve said that and re read it and now I’m not sure she did say that he steered them away from the Toy Story charms.
Apologies.

AGnu · 26/08/2019 00:51

For my birthday my DC got me a Lego set they wanted & then "helpfully" suggested they could make it for me. Oh, & since I didn't really have anywhere to keep Lego, they'd look after it for me. In their playroom... DH will be getting playdough for his birthday... The DC can help me make it!

If I were you I'd "love it soooo much" that I had to keep it safe in my memories box... Couldn't risk losing it! I wouldn't return it but I probably would be tempted to go out & buy myself a present from me, to me & open it singing "happy birthday to me" while everyone else was out.

Croquembou · 26/08/2019 00:57

My mum (who is absolutely lovely in most regards) was always an extremely ungrateful gift receiver. I remember being little and being so excited to give her a gift and then feeling so sad and disappointed. It was horrible to the point that at about 10 I told myself I would never say anything but 'I love it, thank you so much' to a present.

Just wear the charms a short little while.

wotsittoyou · 26/08/2019 03:04

"If the DC bought something for their dad to wear like a medallion chain would people be telling of course he has to wear it?"

I wouldn't force my dh to wear anything. Luckily, he would do the kind thing and wear the fecking medallion off his own bat! Last year, ds made him the most hideous crocheted friendship bracelet, and he wore it until it literally fell to pieces.

p.s. I only know that it's 'bat' instead of 'back' because of a recent thread on here, and have been waiting for an opportunity to use it since.

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