To let him in

[samb80]

Really could do with an outsiders perspective.
Split with husband 8 months ago due to his alcoholism and abusive behaviour.
I've had a couple of one night stands since, I've been talking to this guy for over a month, met on bumble. He travels a lot for work, I missed meeting up with him last time he was back but he's home tomorrow and has asked to come to my house when he arrives at 2am.
Is this unreasonable?
I've never done this before, someone to turn up to my house for sex, should I offer him a drink or do we get straight down to business!?
The previous one night stands were with people I already knew.
This feels like a completely different ball game.
Also do I let him stay over or ask him to leave... or am I completely out of my depth here?

OP, if it’s 2am as in 25 mins ago, I hope you’re ok...

No judgment whatsoever about however much sex you want to have with anyone. But letting a stranger into your home at 2am is madness. Maybe meet at a hotel, and see what you think. You have no means of escape in your house if things go wrong. I would not recommend taking such a risk. Even if things are fine, you may decide it’s a one off, he might feel differently, and then he knows where you live.

If this is real, I’m shocked that you’d take such risks. I hope you don’t have any children or anything in the house that are being put at risk too 😕

@AliceWond I totally understand your point but this scenario is more akin to saying "Ok choose not to wear your seat belt, I'm sure you'll be fine!"

Of course it is not anyone's fault if they are attacked, but that is not a reason to give any potential attackers an easy job.

For the same reason, we also hear/see adverts daily about not falling for scams. It doesn't mean the existing victims were stupid. It just means we want to stop more people being victims.

Criminals are shits and will use any angle they see fit. Including ones that are patently deranged (I once had a guy claim he was a feminist because he gave me (crap) oral.)

I'm about to open my door at 3am to a man I have never met, he assumes we will be having sex.

I'm not, but can you see how terribly unsafe this is for you OP? Sex does not = value and self esteem.

Hope you are okay OP. Please update us.

I hope you're having a wonderful time, but you've left more than a few of us worrying for you.

Hardly victim blaming telling someone to not
Let a stranger in their house at 2am for sex! How is that victim blaming, it’s just bloody common sense!

Nope.
No chance.
You're mad if you do.

Sorry, posted on the wrong thread 🙈

Thanks everybody- your absolutely right!!!
First of all NO MY CHILDREN WONT BE HERE - would never do that.
Secondly- I have had doubts about him. Did think it was odd myself but seem to have got caught up in the situation 😏
Think I will suggest a public place first!

Suggesting a public place definitely sounds like a better idea OP xx

I wouldn’t meet him at all. Move on and meet someone whose first suggestion isn’t a booty call.

If you have any doubts, sack it off.

And do the Freedom Programme.

I agree you shouldn’t meet this one at all.

This thread just inspired a memory of internet dating. One guy was chatty for a while, we were going to meet, then he suggested meeting after work at 9pm one day. Ok, that's not so late. Then he was going to be delayed at work so 10pm, I said "it's getting too late, is there even anywhere open?". Then he says "bit more delayed, could meet at my flat or yours at 11?". Ha bloody ha mate, do fuck off. Quite apart from it being dangerous, how would anyone know if they wanted to shag or not if they've never met? Mind you, I was never interested in one night stands regardless, which is clearly all that's being requested from that kind of message.

Absolutely not, no way never. This guy could be anyone.