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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit left out?

37 replies

Lily2811 · 23/08/2019 22:03

DH sister getting married. Been together 3 years, married for a year. Wasn't invited to hen do. MIL, SIL, etc all getting hair and make up done on the morning of wedding. Not included in that. Neither me or DH involved in transport plans in getting to the wedding. DH not part of wedding party.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 23/08/2019 22:04

Result!

Original poster
Lily2811 · 23/08/2019 22:05

What?

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 23/08/2019 22:07

Unless you're a bridesmaid (which I gather you're not) then there's no reason to be involved in the hair and makeup on the day. Transport is usually only organised for bridal party, not siblings. Bit odd that you weren't invited to the hen though. Are you friendly with SIL?

Justmuddlingalong · 23/08/2019 22:08

What I mean is that level of involvement sounds ideal. I would be delighted.

Nightmanagerfan · 23/08/2019 22:10

I really wouldn’t expect to be included in any of that - it would seem really odd to me to be asked to get hair done etc. Surely the bride can have her mum and sister without you feeling left out?!

sackrifice · 23/08/2019 22:10

You mean just turn up and leave when you want?

Excellent.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 23/08/2019 22:11

Weddings are a minefield.

Are you close to your SiL? Is your husband close to his sister?

Bambamber · 23/08/2019 22:11

Why was you expecting to be part of it all? Are you particularly close to her?

Lazypuppy · 23/08/2019 22:13

Hair and make up is just bridal party normally so why would you be involed?

Depends what typeof hen do it was? I'm not having my futurs SIL at my hen do, but thats cause i'm doing something with just my bridesmaids

Dmacka75 · 23/08/2019 22:14

Would it be noticed if you didnt go?

peachgreen · 23/08/2019 22:14

Why would you expect to be a part of things? Are you close? I don't think there's any precedent for the bride's brother's wife to be particularly involved, is there?

Doyouavocado · 23/08/2019 22:14

The only odd thing is not being invited to the hen.

Justmuddlingalong · 23/08/2019 22:16

Did you involve her in your wedding, hence you expecting her to do the same to you? Because that's not how it does or should work.

Cyberworrier · 23/08/2019 22:17

Not being invited to hen do is odd, wonder if there’ll be a drip feed? You husband not being part of wedding party is not weird, unless they are close. Which I’m assuming they’re not?

Northernsoulgirl45 · 23/08/2019 22:17

The sane rhing hapoened to me.

Isithometimeyet0987 · 23/08/2019 22:18

The only thing that seems odd to me is left out of the hen do, but then if you haven’t spent much time with his sister or aren’t close to her I can understand why you might not be invited.

AcrobaticCardigan · 23/08/2019 22:18

Wedding transport & hair and make up is just for the bridal party, so PLEASE don’t feel left out on that OP. I do think she could have invited you to the hen though. Xx

Elieza · 23/08/2019 22:19

Id have expected a hen do invite unless it was just her mates or a weekend in a different city or just close family for a small event not including cousins or anything.

The rest,no I would not have expected to be included in the wedding morning hair and beauty.

Not being too included and having to go along with their morning plans sounds perfect to me actually. Do your thing at your own pace and enjoy the day with your husbandSmile

CurbsideProphet · 23/08/2019 22:20

Are you actually friends with your SIL, or just related by marriage?

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/08/2019 22:20

How close are you to her? If it was the other way round, would you want her with you when you were getting ready for your wedding? It's a bit different for me as my husband lives in a different country to his sisters. But i cant imagine a situation where I'd expect to have a bridesmaid type role if we weren't great friends. And I'm not sure I know any of my friends that have got their makeup done with husbands sister on wedding day

ymf117 · 23/08/2019 22:41

Did you invite her to do the same? I can't imagine leaving my brothers wife out of things and we aren't overly close. An invite to the hen would have been the decent thing to do and then it's up to you if you choose to go. Is it just friends or family that are invited too?

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/08/2019 22:42

Was she at your hen do?

ymf117 · 23/08/2019 22:44

Likewise I'd also include my OH's sister as much as poss, maybe not on the day but definitely the hen and other details, I wouldn't want our family to just feel like a guest at our wedding

georgialondon · 23/08/2019 22:49

I'd love not to be involved in that stuff to be honest. I wouldn't except to be included

forkfun · 23/08/2019 22:52

Didn't invite my SIL to any of that. We aren't close. Are you close to her? Is you DP?

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