To think that this mother not doing her daughter any favours

[SirGawain]

At a country park the other day and witnessed a three or four year old having a mild strop which would be easily defused by ignoring or distraction. But no! The mother threatened to call a policeman.
It seems to me that this is wrong on two levels; firstly it is an empty threat which she cannot carry out. Secondly it instils the idea that the police are to be feared rather than being there to protect people.

CanoeDoYouThinkYouAre

You do realise no one was actually asking you to? Do you take everything so literally?

YANBU can't stand hearing "the lady/man will tell you off" and "the police/social services will take you away". Not only is it pointless because it's an empty threat and not going to happen but it also suggests that the person is incapable of parenting their own child if they have to pass the discipline to someone else.

When I was growing up I was and still am scared of the police. But I knew at the same time they were there to help me if I was lost or needed them. I think at the moment there are too many young people who have no fear of or respect for the police and that's not a good thing. However it's a daft thing to say to a child because it's am empty threat. But we all say daft things from time to time so it's no big deal.

You're not unreasonable but the chances are that the child, despite being young, knew that mum didn't mean it.

A few years ago I saw a young boy of about 3, with his mother, going absolutely crazy, screaming and crying, at a policeman walking past him in the street. He was terrified. I'm guessing the mother had threatened the same to him. Ridiculous

I think it was probably a last resort threat after nothing else had worked. I remember my mum being on the phone to the 'orphanage' and asking them when they were coming to get me. I can still remember the distress it caused me but not sure if helped my behaviour!!

I work in customer care in a well known burger place
I was once coming down the stairs with a whole load of trays when I heard a woman scream at her child
‘Pack it in or I’ll get that lady (points at me) to go get her big needle and jab you with it’!

I was like wtf?! I don’t use any form of needles in my day to day life let alone at work!

Dear lord people get worked up over the smallest things these days... Who cares how she chooses to discipline her child? It wasn't in any way affecting you, and it wasn't abusive to the child. Butt out and get on with your own life.

In a hospital I once heard a mother threatening her child that if they didn't stop they would get the " big scary nurse to give them an injection"
I was the nurse. I was both upset & offended

My DS (tall strapping rower) was in M&S and a child was having a tantrum.
The mother pointed at my DS and said
"if you don't stop crying this scary man is going to take you away"

@Rainbowknickers, maybe you should start a franchise Jabs n Burgers or something

If only that was all the police had to worry about.

Although it brings back memories when my mum used to say to me “You’re going in a home with your ears pinned back.

@snuggybuggy haha I might do-if I can get over my phobia of needles in the first place!

if you don't stop crying this scary man is going to take you away

Bloody hell, what on Earth was she thinking?

As for the needle in the burger joint, wth??

@SuzieSunshine I'm sorry but I think that's terrible that your mother did that

It's not the best perhaps but I've said light heartedly to my two year old 'I'll smack your bottom!' I've no intention of smacking her bottom but catch myself saying it anyway. Sometimes we just say things.

Good God stop judging this woman. Perhaps she was at the end of her tether and said it as a last resort. Who knows but I don't know why you're so bothered

@FurnitureAndBackgammon I know!! Also DS is perfectly lovely and not at all scary!!

Perhaps she was at the end of her tether and said it as a last resort

This is a generalisation I know but the type of parent who says that ime is not at the end of their tether, they are usually just not good at parenting. I know MN likes to make all kinds of excuses for people but good parents don t threaten their children with police or random unnamed men

coconuttelegraph

Obviously you live in a parallel universe because a few years ago most people had never really considered the ‘policeman threat’. They weren’t all shit parents. Bad parents are those who’s children are neglected or abused. Not people who say something that you wouldn’t necessarily say.

@Belfield Yes she was a really mean mum to me when I was growing up and I'd love to tell her how fucked up she's made my life and I'm over 50!! But I've decided it's not worth it as she wouldn't cope (she's in her 80's now) so I'm just sitting back and waiting to enjoy my eventual inheritance. Sad but true.

I used to work in a large shop, and the number of times people would say to their children that lady will tell you off. Why should I parent their kids?

If I heard someone say that I wouldn’t think it’s a big deal but then again my Mum routinely threatened to call social services to come pick me up when I misbehaved!
That's also awful in my opinion.
Social services are there to safeguard children and to keep them safe, not be used as some boogymonster threat of the scary people who take children away.

Dear lord people get worked up over the smallest things these days... Who cares how she chooses to discipline her child?
The people who care will care because children need to know that the emergency services are people to go if they are in difficulty or trouble or are lost.

I never understand the "butt out and don't have an opinion / who cares" lines. I've worked with teens and parents who have really troubled relationships. It was eye-opening how often being put into care was threatened (then parents of wayward teens with significant issues, who struggle to form positive adult relationships etc wonder why their child is demonstrating unhealthy at risk behaviours). Spend some time talking to the vulnerable teens who've had this sort of endless empty threat, ineffective parenting and it's heartbreaking to hear how they feel. Sadly few people both to listen to them, their parents included.

I had a friend who had an app where "mrs clause" could call and she would report naughty behaviour

No, pardonwhat, I live in the normal universe where threatening a child with someone's whose purpose is a positive one or some weird nameless "man" is a bizarre way to try and get a child to do what you want and can only have a negative effect on them. There are many facets to poor parenting and they aren't mutually exclusive, ime it's one indicator