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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your thoughts on extended breastfeeding?

463 replies

awmamma · 22/08/2019 12:46

Catching up on Teen Mom UK and watching the bit about Charlie telling Shannon it was weird to still be breastfeeding her 2.5 year old.

Is it really that weird?

OP posts:
ThePolishWombat · 25/08/2019 19:20

rugshade have you read the full thread? Hmm

There is very very few mothers out there who breastfeed into toddlerhood for any reasons other than nutrition for their child, comfort for their child, and ease of continuing rather than attempting to wean before the child is emotionally ready for that.
Try forcing a toddler to breastfeed that doesn’t want to...see how well you get on Grin

SnuggyBuggy · 25/08/2019 19:21

Absence of sleep maybe Grin

QueenofmyPrinces · 25/08/2019 19:23

I think extended breastfeeding is creepy, and wonder what absence or insecurity the mother is trying to fill by doing it.

I love being able to provide comfort to my child, I love that we have a unique bond just the two of us and I love that my milk is able to give him immunity and nutrition and all the other benefits of breast milk etc etc

Don’t really see why that’s creepy.

ThePolishWombat · 25/08/2019 19:27

Also, I know way more people who were done with breastfeeding before their child was ready to stop.
The phrase “ being touched out” is one I hear a lot. Mum has had enough of being touched and grabbed at (my DS was the type who like to claw and grab at the opposite boob while feeding), but still feed their child anyway because they feel their child’s comfort is more important.

Macca84 · 25/08/2019 19:33

Threads like these bring out folk judgemental of extended BFers and as demonstrated directly above, those who judge mums who don't do extended BF 🙄

SomeonesRealName · 25/08/2019 19:34

No it's fab well done mum!

plantwhisperer · 25/08/2019 19:42

I think that whatever's best for mum & baby is fine, whether that's 6 months of BF or 3 years!

Personally I would probably stick to 1 year max, but certainly don't judge others who do it for longer, it can cause some attachment/extended babying issues though I've seen.

ChestnutTalisman · 25/08/2019 19:43

CressidaDuck hits the nail firmly on the head for me.

I had no plans to bf necessarily but thought I should give it a go given the health benefits. When I had my son we had a tricky start but I persevered and continued as it was the only thing in the world that calmed my ds down as a high needs baby. At 2.5 it is still the most effective tool to calm him down and acts as a bit of a reset button for us. When he is out and about and busy he shows limited interest but in the morning and last thing at night, when unwell and distressed, it works a treat.

Oysterbabe · 25/08/2019 19:44

I think extended breastfeeding is creepy, and wonder what absence or insecurity the mother is trying to fill by doing it

For me it fills the absence of the will to go through the weaning process. My 20 month old still wants to breastfeed a couple of times a day and I see no reason not too. Why make him sad for no reason?

ethelfleda · 25/08/2019 19:45

Oysterbabe
Your post is calm and measure but unfortunately, you are trying to argue with stupid Smile

MissB83 · 25/08/2019 19:50

Age 2.5 is hardly extended breastfeeding when the WHO recommends doing so for at least 2 years.

But I think people should be allowed to do what they want with their own breasts, it's being them and their child.

I am "still" BFing a large 18 month old (he looks 2 or more so I do get looks in public now).

CmdrCressidaDuck · 25/08/2019 19:50

I think extended breastfeeding is creepy, and wonder what absence or insecurity the mother is trying to fill by doing it

Which is just another way of saying you think breastfeeding period is creepy, but you know that's a fucking stupid opinion you can't possibly justify, so you "allow" it only for babies where you can set rigid constraints about it being ONLY for nutrition, as if anything to do with food and drink for human beings or indeed the relationship between a baby and mother is ONLY about nutrition.

I made an analogy to cuddling earlier, and said that sometimes I do ask my DC for a cuddle for my benefit not theirs. (And sometimes they say no.) Thinking back, that's actually not a very good parallel, because I have never ever offered one of my children the breast just because I wanted them to feed other than in the very early milk-engorged days. I have accepted their desire for a feed many times when I would rather not have, and I have offered when I thought they needed it or would benefit from it (and they pretty much always have), but I've never offered it to them for my own purposes.

MissB83 · 25/08/2019 19:51

@Oysterbabe nail on head, I can't imagine how DS would cope without his BM at the moment.

Mrsfrumble · 25/08/2019 20:23

I remember reading a fascinating article about breastfeeding in Mongolia, where children normally feed until 8 or so. I’ll see if I can find it again and post a link.

Agree with the poster who commented that it’s impossible to force a toddler to feed against their will. Mine self-weaned at 18 months (DS) and 24 months (DD). I would have been happy to carry on but they were done, and that was that! Feeding for my own personal benefit was not an option.

LaurieMarlow · 25/08/2019 20:28

I think extended breastfeeding is creepy, and wonder what absence or insecurity the mother is trying to fill by doing it

No one who ever saw what comfort and joy young children get from bfing could ever make that statement.

How sad that anyone in this day and age is so ignorant and defensive about such a lovely practice.

DickKerrLadies · 25/08/2019 20:30

Again, if there is no need for even toddlers to drink milk, why do children up to the age of 5 get free cows breastmilk at school?

I think extended breastfeeding is creepy, and wonder what absence or insecurity the mother is trying to fill by doing it

Lol, course you do.

Dandelion1993 · 25/08/2019 20:40

As a bottle feeder I have no firsthand experience.

I just don't see the point once they're one.

They can have cows milk, they can have a balanced diet with food so I don't see the nutritional point.

The few people I know who have breastfed long term are clearly doing it becuase they struggle to let go of the baby stage.

QueenofmyPrinces · 25/08/2019 20:44

i don’t see the point last one. They can have cows milk,.....

And can you explain why you think milk from a cow, intended for calves, is better for an infant than milk from a human that is intended for humans?

ethelfleda · 25/08/2019 20:45

Dandelion have you even attempted to read the thread? You’ve posted the same shite that other people have and your points have already been proven as utterly ridiculous more than once on this thread.

Timandra · 25/08/2019 21:37

I didn't see the point of weaning mine before they did so naturally.

Why would I refuse to let them have milk designed for them and force milk from a different species on them instead. Now that would be weird.

MissB83 · 25/08/2019 21:38

*As a bottle feeder I have no firsthand experience.

I just don't see the point once they're one.

They can have cows milk, they can have a balanced diet with food so I don't see the nutritional point.

The few people I know who have breastfed long term are clearly doing it becuase they struggle to let go of the baby stage.*

All I could see here was...

I know nothing about this subject.

But I'm going to bore you all with the little I don't know.

I must start doing that on random mumsnet posts about which I know nothing.

Celebelly · 25/08/2019 21:47

As a bottle feeder I have no firsthand experience.

Then you'll know nothing about the comfort breastfeeding can give, the fact it's not just for nutrition but can be excellent pain relief and calming therapy for a baby or toddler, that it's a bonding thing for parents and child, that it does have nutritional benefits past a year and ongoing benefits for both child and mother...

I agree with the PP, sorry I can't remember who, who said that we've been conditioned to think that giving human babies milk for baby cows is somehow less 'weird' than giving human babies milk for human babies. It's utterly depressing.

But I do also think that until you've breastfed, it's a really hard thing to get your head round. Pre DD, while I was v passionate about being able to breastfeed, I kind of thought you fed for six months and that was that. I said to DP 'If I make it to six months, that'll do me.' Well, DD is coming up for seven months now and I have no intention of stopping and I can well see myself breastfeeding her into toddlerhood, if she continues to want it.

Nonnymum · 25/08/2019 21:51

No it's not weird.

Moominfan · 25/08/2019 22:20

The few people I know who have breastfed long term are clearly doing it becuase they struggle to let go of the baby stage.

This ^^ just own it

reetgood · 25/08/2019 22:28

@Moominfan I know you’re goading but I just can’t help myself! I am not a baby person, found the first 12 months of baby life quite hard work. As in, stopping at 1 because if I have to do that again it will break me hard work. But breastfeeding? Never been a problem for us, and here I am breastfeeding at 19 months. I have literally no desire to go back to small baby land. The idea makes me a bit nauseous

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