To ask for your thoughts on extended breastfeeding?

[awmamma]

Catching up on Teen Mom UK and watching the bit about Charlie telling Shannon it was weird to still be breastfeeding her 2.5 year old.

Is it really that weird?

Before I had DD I was a bit about it, but now I think we will keep going till she wants to stop. She's only 6mo so hopefully we will have a while yet. She's going to be my only and we had such a time getting BF established that I do hope she wants to keep going for a decent amount of time, now we've got it cracked! I also enjoy that it's something just for us that no one else shares in.

I would have said something if my sisters did it though.

You sound like a lovely sister

Pre dc i would have thought a toddler feeding was a bit weird.

Dc2 is now 3 and still feeding (bedtime, early am and sometimes nap/ after nursery). I'm ambivalent tbh. I want to comfort him, and actually like sitting diwn to feed (relax and look at my phone more than bonding!). However i am a bit sick of it now & i sometimes resent it/ the demand. But he kicks off so much when I've refused that i have no idea how I'll wean before he's ready...

Before I had DD I thought it was weird and a bit icky but knew it was the best thing to do so vowed to do it for at least six weeks and would try for six months.

Ended up being 2.5 years and only weaned when I was taking care of DM dying of cancer, while potty training DD and couldn't cope with the strain of dealing cleaning, wiping up, managing all the different bodily fluids and needs from everyone. Who knows how long we might have gone on otherwise.

Six children - all breastfed - two lots tandem fed...until whenever they wanted to stop. I can't remember the exact ages - but all two or three years. All children are confident and clever. It should be the most natural thing in the world. The fact that it prompts such questioning and introspection is indicative of how we humans overcomplicate everything!

I have never done it beyond the age of 2, which was the right thing for my family and my babies. I don't care if other people go for longer though. Do these things even come up in normal conversation? Who are these people who are so invested in what everyone else is doing that has no impact on them?

I guess we are on MN...

Most of my friends have breast fed up to age 3 some 4 only one stopping before age 1. I remember a friend of mine who worked at a Primary School and one of the parents used to pop in over lunchtime, my friend thought the Mum was doing extra reading but she was breast feeding her 6 year old. That's the only time a few friends including myself were a little uncomfortable (to this day I can't put my finger on why I thought it was odd because of the age of the child I suppose I'm used to friends going up to age 3-4) with breastfeeding but each to their own. The other kids found out and teased the child relentlessly which I found so sad. At the end of the day I fully believe as long as a child is fed, happy and healthy be it breast or bottle then it really shouldn't matter!

I breastfed my youngest until he was 3. I would have continued for longer if I could but abusive ex-husband took me to court re custody and was awarded exactly 50:50 No regrets whatsoever and wasn't interested in what other people thought about it!

See, my first response to tandem feeding 5 was also wow/that sounds like a lot, but then I thought about it and really - once they are past about 2 they aren't in any way reliant on it so fairly likely she is just using it as an occasional tool with the older ones. And likely the only reason the 6yo has not stopped is that there is still supply thanks to the younger ones. I doubt she makes them line up six times a day etc or lies there like a mother dog with all of her puppies :o

Sandy I can assure you that a breastfeeding toddler is absolutely not in a babylike state. The difference between feeding a lively toddler and a sleepy newborn is astronomical. The breastfeeding relationship changes and grows just as the child does.

I would have said something if my sisters did it though.

And if you were my sister I'd have told you to fuck off . 😁

I'll repeat what I said earlier though, my DS self weaned at about 14 months, i couldn't make him keep breastfeeding. How the fuck do you force a 2/3 year old to keep feeding if they're done? It's hard enough to get them to put their shoes on it get in a car seat if they don't want to, how do you keep them on a nipple?!

The reaction to Bf here is a reminder of how everything now is about sex, men and money.

Breasts are not for feeding babies, they are exclusively for “ yer man” to ogle at and makes his mates jealous by flashing them down the pub. Or to get your kit off to make money. Women’s bodied are commodified and pornified.

Breast feeding a baby = gross and you are probably getting off on it, you are making people uncomfortable

Having a randomer wank all over your tits and put it online = cool, sex positive blah blah blah

Parade around the street half naked but wearing a dog lead and fetish gear = liberating, how dare you kink shame me

If it’s not making money for someone else or turning men on then it’s worthless or even bad.

@0lga unless I have totally missed something where have posters said this?

If you don’t think these views are common then you are very naive.

People on this thread have said that they are scared to feed in public, that their relatives criticise them.

Other PP have said it’s weird , it’s madness, they have a desire to feel indispensable, they need therapy , it’s unnecessary and bizarre.

I’d love to think that it’s just a few random bigots but sadly it’s not. These views are common and they don’t exist in a vacuum. I see them expressed on MN all the time.

“ I’d love to BF my baby but ma man wants his boobs back LOL”.

Etc etc

@0lga I see...no not naive sadly you are right about these terrible attitudes I suppose you could say I may be part of that brigade as I felt uncomfortable with a 6 year old being breastfed not because I think it's sexual but because I'm not used to it as my family and friends stopped feeding around age 3-4 years apart from who stopped just after their child turned 1.

What I was asking is specifically on this thread where are those comments?

People find it weird because we live in a formula feeding culture but biologically it's completely normal.

I fed my eldest to age 8 and my youngest is 5 and not showing signs of weaning yet.

Biologically there is a need to at least age 7 as that's when the immune system is fully developed and there are so many other health "benefits" including protection from some cancers for both mother and child.

People are woefully under-educated about breastfeeding hence some of the comments on this thread.

who recommends to feed at least till 2. So how is feeding a 2 year old daughter extended?

WHO

No opinion on it really, whatever floats your boat and works for you. I stopped at 6 months with my first two because I thought it was the done thing (naive young mum) but with DC3 I kept going until she started rejecting the milk at around 14/15 months. DC4 is almost 10 months old and still breastfed. He has no teeth yet which helps, it’s bloody awful when they have teeth!

I saw a mum on this morning still breastfeeding her 9 year old.
I cant see how that would benefit a child.
And I thought it was strange.

It’s not that I find it weird in a sexual or gross way beyond the age of 4ish. Just odd in the same way I find a dummy or bottle odd as comfort or nutrition at that age. By 4 most dc have neither, and if they still do the parents are usually weaning them off with the idea of dropping entirely by 5 or starting school. And by finding it weird I don’t mean I’m judging anyone who does, it’s just not something I’d want to do or particularly recommend random others should do.

Before I had DS I hoped to breastfeed to 6 months or a year. Now at 17 months I assume we'll go way beyond 2. These days he feeds only in the house or privately somewhere unless he's really hurt himself running into or off something, or before his nap if we're out for the full day, or one time when I forgot to take water on a woodland walk. If I'm at work DH will give him oatibix with honey and a glass of cow's milk before his nap and he's happy with that, but always asks for an extra breastfeed when I get home, so once he goes to nursery that'll work just fine. I'm not specifically hiding breastfeeding him, but it is easier in private now he's huge. I don't know when he'll stop, but I don't plan to force him to and he still has 5 feeds per day so it doesn't look like it'll be soon. He's very tall, so if he stays so tall and breastfeeding up to age 6 or 7 he'd be nearly up to my shoulders, lying down feeds only at that point.

I'm quite certain that some of my friends, family or strangers around find it odd to still breastfeed even at his age. Some unexpected supporters though, both his grandfathers mention every now and then (when they're aware that he's getting a feed) how it's so good for a toddlers health to still be breastfeeding, I appreciate their small comments of support more than they probably realise. I have some major breastfeeding advocates in some older neighbours as well, who have reminisced about their toddler breastfeeding days; they've both been useful in saying that mothers don't need to decide to stop unless they want to, because they've seen so many breastfeed children grow up and all the children stopped by themselves eventually. It's a real shame that breastfeeding is less normalised for some of the younger generation, the need and expectation of returning to work early and poor support for mixed feeding at that time probably makes a big difference in how many of those who've managed to breastfeed successfully for the initial few months then take it forward. People rarely notice me feeding DS or he's feeding at home, I don't fancy making a spectacle of myself to help normalise it but perhaps hiding breastfeeding is part of the problem in people understanding how common it is.

or lies there like a mother dog with all of her puppies
what a mental image!

I'm still breastfeeding 18 month old DS though I try not to do it in public any more because he insists on holding my shirt away from his face which flashes my boob to everyone in the vicinity but if he's very upset then I will feed him. He mostly just comfort nurses nowadays, he's on and off all day at home but if we're out and about he's distracted and forgets about it. Still has a proper feed first thing in the morning and once or twice in the day.

I wouldn't mind being done with it now because I'm getting a bit fed up and he sometimes forgets himself and chews on my nipple which bloody hurts, but he's not ready to wean and I have no idea how I'll do it. DD weaned so easily at 14 months but DS is so different to her.

How the fuck do you force a 2/3 year old to keep feeding if they're done?

This is the answer to those who say BF past a certain age is done for the mother. You cannot force a toddler or a child to breastfeed. They will all grow out of it eventually. Their teeth are known as 'milk teeth' for a reason.

Also, if there's no nutritional benefit to giving children milk, why do childen under 5 get free cow breastmilk milk at school? Maybe we should let the government know, they love an excuse to cut stuff!

There’s plenty research to show that the health benefits of breast feeding ( to the mother and child ) are dose related. So those who get more will benefit more.