To ask for your thoughts on extended breastfeeding?

[awmamma]

Catching up on Teen Mom UK and watching the bit about Charlie telling Shannon it was weird to still be breastfeeding her 2.5 year old.

Is it really that weird?

I work 2-3 days a week and I feed him before I go to work and feed him when I’m home.

Sometimes due to my shifts I don’t see him for 48+ hours and he resumes feeding just fine when we are back together again.

We have recently been abroad and it was sooooo hot that it meant DS wanted to feed all the time which meant I had to do it in public. I did get a few judgemental looks (mainly off the English tourists) but I just carried on regardless.

I breast fed him in front of two of my friends the other day and admittedly they looked awkward. They both breast fed their own children though so I was quite surprised by their reaction.

At the end of the day, seeing toddlers being breast fed isn’t common place (for numerous reasons) hence why people are so judgemental and critical of it.

Feeding until the child is 4 is creepy imho. Do you have breasts resembling spaniels ears?

Look, I appreciate you appear the IQ of a wet quilt, but just as a public service it’s pregnancy that affects breasts more than breastfeeding.

Have a child do you....?

Found this thread fascinating.
My 'baby' is 24 now so things have moved on in recent years.
But I don't know a single person whose done this.
I have seen it out and about though.
I'm just not sure what to think.
My two were both weaned by about 6 months I think.
Wish I could have gone on for longer but found them quite hungry babies who woofed their solids down. I just couldn't keep up.
I'm opened minded but if the toddler is having a balanced diet isn't that enough?

And if a second baby comes along surely they need the all the milk ?
Especially the first 6 weeks where the milk is different.

Certainly encouraging new mums to Brest feed is very important and an acceptance of bf in public

I can still remember feeding in the toilet at someone's christening.

Robin2323 tons of people have pointed out: its about more than nutrition! A lot more.
And as for feeding a new baby alongside a toddler - your body knows what to do. Your body provides first and foremost for the new baby, which is why lots of people report their toddlers commenting on milk tasting different while mum is pregnant or feeding the newborn at first. The whole “supply and demand” system breastfeeding works on ensures that there is enough available for both baby and toddler.

@Robin2323 - a balanced diet for that age group includes milk. Some toddlers have cows milk, some have oat milk, some have formula and some have human milk. There are some misconceptions about how nutrition works with breastfeeding, your body will make more milk if the baby is hungry and healthy toddlers eat solid food as well as having their milk. Encouraging new mums to breastfeed includes acceptance of natural term feeding, because that's where it might end up. Women have the legal right to breastfeed in public now. Supportiveness at this stage can include asking questions, but hopefully making those questions genuinely open; phrasing like "surely they need" comes across as judgemental even if it isn't intended to be so.

Ok
I was just asking
I have read most of the thread.
Like I said it 20 odds years since I breast fed.
It's seems to be almost totally unanimous on this thread but I don't know anyone.

I only managed 6 months.

Did I fail them?

My youngest was quite little so I was able to carry him about till 7 years old. So lots of contact and cuddles.
He was always a very happy child.

Did I fail them?
Of course not. Based on just this there's no reason to think you didn't do the best for your family. Everyone does more or less of one or another thing, there is no ideal path. Some are just explaining why natural term breastfeeding should be supported when it's the right thing for the mum and the child. Nobody is asking for everybody to do it, simply asking that people don't criticise those who do.

I know women who are breastfeeding last a year but travel for work. It's not either or. Though I personally wouldn't want to be away from my babies overnight during the first year. I do know breastfeeding mums who have done this with no ill effect.

Defo not a baby stage lover here. I like the newborn bit but even that gets a bit much, it's nice that it's short. I'm looking forward to DS2's next year. The bit from age 1-3 is my favourite.

It's a strange assumption because again, breastfeeding a toddler is nothing like feeding a little baby. They are funny with it, they act out little relationships with "their comfort objects", they develop their own language about it. Most feeds during the day are very transient, bumped knee/reassuring moment needed, quick feed and go. Or they are longer and more like cuddles. That's nice, a sort of oasis of calm in the chaos of toddlerhood. But not very much like a little baby at all. It's when they launch themselves at you from across the room which is hilarious (if a bit terrifying...) I understand that not everyone would find these things funny or sweet but IME they really are. And the children grow up just fine.

For me it fills the absence of the will to go through the weaning process. My 20 month old still wants to breastfeed a couple of times a day and I see no reason not too. Why make him sad for no reason?

Exactly this. Someone in DH's family seemed to go out of her way to discourage any maternal bonding, security and contentment in her kids. It was bizarre. She never bf and locked them in their bedrooms from an early age leaving them to scream until they fell asleep on the floor. Being a natural attachment parenting mum, that seemed imo like a form of cruelty and i don't get how a mother could naturally do this ..instinctively surely nature wouldn't let you!

This same mother then accuses me in not so many words that co-sleeping is verging on a Michael Jackson form of sexual grooming!

Family eh?!

You should try to stop before the child goes to secondary school.

@notthetoothfairy personally, I'm waiting to see where my son goes to university before considering stopping.

Anyway, who are these toddlers who breastfeed for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night?? Please can you come and tell my toddler that it's not on and off all bloody day?! Oh, I forgot, it's all for me and I'm just trying to keep him a baby forever...

Booseysmom

What a horrible, nasty woman! Your post really shocked me (from another attachment parenting mum )

Almostalwyn
Be careful what you wish for - I was literally saying this just over a week ago. 21 month old DS was feeding constantly at some points - and then one week ago he just stopped! And hasn’t fed since. Really weird but I wasn’t prepared for him to stop so feeling a little emotional this week

@ethelfleda have you looked into nursing strike? Natural weaning is usually more gradual... But if your DS has given up for good - well done for getting this far! What a great achievement

Anyway, who are these toddlers who breastfeed for 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night?? Please can you come and tell my toddler that it's not on and off all bloody day?! Oh, I forgot, it's all for me and I'm just trying to keep him a baby forever...

My son (just turned 2) can feed for up to an hour at times!!!

He’s also on and off all day. In a 24 hour period he probably feeds about 8 times

Agree that toddler feeding is not like baby feeding in many ways:

1. my 18 month old is huge. I have a short body. It's pretty hard work to be able to keep hold of him long enough for him to finish...
2. but he is also very tall so sometimes he feeds standing up. He didn't do that as a baby!
3. he wriggles like a wriggly worm. And his latch is now quite poor. So he sort of snaps on and off the boob: ow!
4. sometimes it lasts about three seconds... then he shouts "mo mo mo!" Until he's latched on again.

On the other hand, it's still the ONLY reliable thing to get him to sleep, and it really comforts him when I've been away from him at work all day so that's good enough for me. Also for example this weekend he's been eating quite poorly with the very hot weather but filling up on breastmilk and water so I know he's not dehydrated.

@QueenofmyPrinces mine is also 2 (28 months) and me sitting down is basically his cue to climb on me shouting "miiiiilllllkkkkkkkkkkk". He can also feed for an age, get up to do something else, but when I go to get up, he starts crying like he's not had milk in a week

Yes, totally all for my benefit!

But it actually is, because nothing gets him off to sleep better, or calms him when he's getting a bit overwhelmed (tantrum alert), or eases his pain when he's hurt himself - so it definitely does make my life easier!

I think people should just do what the f they like!
It’s a 2 way relationship, if the kid wants to stop or the mum then I think it needs to stop.
My nearly 3yo still feeds to sleep.

"Look, I appreciate you appear the IQ of a wet quilt, but just as a public service it’spregnancythat affects breasts more than breastfeeding."
I don't believe so. Especially if women breastfeed for years on end.

@TabbyMumz - it's about physical anatomy. When women gain weight and the capability to produce breastmilk their boobs increase in size. Once breastfeeding is established the size of the boobs stays stable. When a woman loses weight after pregnancy there will be some sagging, when she stops breastfeeding at 5 days / 5 months / 5 years the breast size will reduce and the fat will rebalance over a period of time. Breasts can also sag a bit over time without breastfeeding at all, just through natural ageing and genetics. What DOESN'T ever happen is hanging babies off your boob like some sort of stretching rack using mouth suction alone to support the baby, the baby's weight is actually never ever ever pulling down on your boob, if you tried to breastfeed like that then you're doing it incorrectly and should go to get lactation support.

I breastfed DS till he was 3 and a bit, my breasts are exactly the same as they were pre-pregnancy.
I think post pregnancy breast changes are mainly due to gravity (I was only a B cup to start off with) and skin elasticity/collagen levels (lucky to have good skin in the family. DM looks 10 years younger than she is)

Even if they were a bit spaniel like, I would be proud of them for have done their job.

Tabby do you have kids?
Because the astounding lack of awareness of the female anatomy and how it works suggests otherwise

I don't believe so. Especially if women breastfeed for years on end

Wow, WHO expert and now scientific discoveries? You’re on FIRE.

You also really need some lessons on female anatomy....

Before i started breastfeeding i thought it odd to continue past the age of 1. I didnt manage to get past 12 weeks with ds1, ds2 didnt take at all he was prem, but ds3 is now 18 months old and is showing no signs of self weaning at all. So for now im just going with it because we are both happy. All i know right now is he's happy and healthy and how he got that way is nobody elses business.

It's also worth noting as an older mum that my boobs had already sagged a bit before pregnancy, if anything they look perkier now with milk in them. My mum didn't breastfeed any of us and hers sagged a bit in early 30s after pregnancy. Meanwhile a sister has dad's mother's little perky boobs that have barely sagged at all after 2 kids. So I think genetics and age are the biggest independent factors.