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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Go Fund Mes For Wealthy People

52 replies

MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 11:45

Name change as might be identifying.

I've just seen a Go Fund Me for £10,000 to help with legal costs, set up by someone I know. Its not a life and death matter, its for something that can be resolved in time more cheaply, but they want it done asap.

Now I know this person reasonably well so I know that they are on a reasonable salary of around £40,000 pa and that they bought a house for £275,000 a couple of years ago, despite not yet being 30 at the time. In other words, they are not poor and they would be in a position to borrow the money.

Yet they have laid it on thick (which they are quite skilled in doing - their job is a charity fundraiser) and they have nearly £3000 pledged in less than 24 hours already.

Am I being mean and nasty in thinking this is something that you don't really need to beg other people for money for? That you can, and should fund yourself? I'd rather see a GoFundMe for a replacement hip or cataract operation or similar for someone who has been stuck on an NHS waiting list and is in pain, or similar. I don't know, it just strikes me as being a convenient way of raising money with little effort before you've exhausted all of your own resources.

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 22/08/2019 11:54

How do you know she can fund it herself? £275,000 mortgage is quite a lot on a 40k salary - having 10k spare is quite unlikely. Do you have 25% of your salary left over every month?

If people are willing to donate that's their choice. You might not agree with it and, to be honest, I would never be funding someone else's legal case, but obviously people are able to donate so why wouldn't she?

bridgetreilly · 22/08/2019 11:59

Yup. But honestly, I don't know why anyone gives money to these things. It's super CFery to ask, but it's bonkers to actually give.

Kpo58 · 22/08/2019 12:14

Should people be able to get away with no legal repercussions because who they wronged is unable to afford legal fees?

The person you are talking about isn't rich. The house cost in London would get you a shoebox and 40k can easily be taken up with mortgage, travel (to work), nursery fees, standard bills, etc leaving very little to live on. Too rich for benefits, too poor to pay for legal fees.

MardyMavis · 22/08/2019 12:18

That makes me sick tbh but if you don't ask you don't get just don't give to the cheeky fucks I find all the go fund me things a bit cringe tbh apart from the actual people that are in need...I.e equipment for a disabled child etc

MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 12:24

Should people be able to get away with no legal repercussions because who they wronged is unable to afford legal fees?

Its not for legal representation in court. Its to get a lawyer to organise stuff for them that you could (and many people do) do themselves, and for associated costs such as travelling to meet with said lawyers, application fees, paperwork, preparing a tax return, providing more information for previous tax returns, etc..

OP posts:
Witchend · 22/08/2019 12:24

I wouldn't regard that as exceptionally wealthy and funding £10k on that salary will take some time.

Having said that I don't like the GoFundMe etc and think that most of them are being cheeky.
Even a lot of the disabled equipment ones of those I have knowledge about often they're asking for something the NHS will provide at a similar level or that the NHS don't provide for good reason-such as they're too young to use it or it doesn't work.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 22/08/2019 12:24

If people want to contribute to a Go-Beg-Me then that is their prerogative. I've yet to see one I personally think is worthwhile. A fool and their money etc

Applejack5 · 22/08/2019 12:27

YANBU

The people who donate to this kind of thing are fools.

Not that someone on £40k with a £275k mortgage would have plenty of money lying around, but there are surely many more worthy causes to donate your spare money to and it is cheeky to ask for donations for this type of thing.

LemonBreeland · 22/08/2019 12:28

I'm with IAskTooManyQuestions in that I've yet to see one that would make me put my hand in my pocket.

Youmadorwhat · 22/08/2019 12:37

40k is not “wealthy”

TrickyD · 22/08/2019 12:48

The OP doesn't say the mortgage is £275,000, that was the cost of the house.
The mortgage could be considerably less. Yes, it could be a shoebox in London, but it could be a fairly substantial house elsewhere.

LightDrizzle · 22/08/2019 12:50

YANBU!
I also dislike middle class parents begging on behalf of their relatively privileged kids, who invariably want to do something that will be enormous fun, a long way away, with a thin veneer of worthiness (volunteering at some point, charity motor cycle ride/ trek)
Well

  1. Pay for George to go yourselves.
  2. Better still, maybe George could have been doing part time work these past two years and saving it to fund his gap yah.

My friend earns gadzillions as equity partner in a sizeable firm of solicitors. Both her girls worked in the local takeaway in 6th form. Both have since graduated with great degrees and are very successful in their own right.

MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 12:53

Its a 4 bedroom detached house. There was considerable family assistance in buying so the mortgage will be relatively small. I don't know all of finances, of course, but the pleading and begging words used to guilt trip in the Go Fund Me sicken me. I recently had to pay for arthritis surgery privately as doubtful I would have got the operation on the NHS, and funded it through a bank loan and Visa card, so I know its possible to do that relatively quickly on that sort of income.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 22/08/2019 12:56

Do you know what’s in their bank account?

BlueSkiesLies · 22/08/2019 13:00

Yes very CF but more fool the idiots who give the money!

ShirleyPhallus · 22/08/2019 13:01

£40,000 is far from “wealthy”, as is buying a £275k house

You know Go Fund Me is entirely optional so people only donate if they want to?

SilverySurfer · 22/08/2019 13:17

LemonBreeland
I'm with IAskTooManyQuestions in that I've yet to see one that would make me put my hand in my pocket.

Me neither. I think those who donate are absolute mugs.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 22/08/2019 13:22

I recently had to pay for arthritis surgery privately as doubtful I would have got the operation on the NHS, and funded it through a bank loan and Visa card, so I know its possible to do that relatively quickly on that sort of income.

And that is your prerogative. Your choice. TBH - if I'd been you I'd have had private medical insurance and claimed on the policy - again a fool and their money

gruffalomom · 22/08/2019 13:26

I would waste my time thinking on it tbh. If you don't want to give (and personally I wouldn't either) then don't.

It is the kind of thing I might tut about to my husband of an evening but I wouldn't speak about it anywhere else it makes you sound bitter.

cranstonmanor · 22/08/2019 13:29

I know someone who suggested to do a gofundme for a nephew dying of cancer so he could have an exotic holiday before his death. He said it was such a shame that they didn't have tge money and couldn't borrow it in time from anyone. I then pointed out that he had just inherited 50.000 that he still had and he could easily lend it to them. For some reason he didn't feel like he should contribute, just strangers should.

loobyloo1234 · 22/08/2019 13:31

More fool the people that contribute tbh. A fool and his money ....

CedarTreeLeaf · 22/08/2019 13:32

They could already be in vast amounts of debt so the bank will not lend to them. I would need to know what the issue is, to know if it was them being CF or not.

PinkiOcelot · 22/08/2019 13:32

Amazes me that people actually donate to stuff like that.

NoSauce · 22/08/2019 13:36

If you don’t know their outgoings it’s pointless saying they’re on 40k and have a house worth 275k. They could have shit loads of debt. I don’t like the go fund me mentality either but you can’t judge someone for asking on their salary and house value alone.

VeniVidiVoxi · 22/08/2019 13:38

Maybe I'm just a tight arse but I don't understand why anyone would give money without a personal connection to know the request is genuine or it's such a high profile campaign that there would be scrutiny. Surely anyone can set up a page with any bullshit story they like? (Bah humbug etc)

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