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AIBU?

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Original poster

Go Fund Mes For Wealthy People

52 replies

MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 11:45

Name change as might be identifying.

I've just seen a Go Fund Me for £10,000 to help with legal costs, set up by someone I know. Its not a life and death matter, its for something that can be resolved in time more cheaply, but they want it done asap.

Now I know this person reasonably well so I know that they are on a reasonable salary of around £40,000 pa and that they bought a house for £275,000 a couple of years ago, despite not yet being 30 at the time. In other words, they are not poor and they would be in a position to borrow the money.

Yet they have laid it on thick (which they are quite skilled in doing - their job is a charity fundraiser) and they have nearly £3000 pledged in less than 24 hours already.

Am I being mean and nasty in thinking this is something that you don't really need to beg other people for money for? That you can, and should fund yourself? I'd rather see a GoFundMe for a replacement hip or cataract operation or similar for someone who has been stuck on an NHS waiting list and is in pain, or similar. I don't know, it just strikes me as being a convenient way of raising money with little effort before you've exhausted all of your own resources.

OP posts:
Toneitdown · 22/08/2019 13:40

People who pledge money to those things are usually either daft or they have money to spare. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Bravelurker · 22/08/2019 13:46

Wow, @cranstonmanor that is so cheeky.
I do think that CF's and gullible suckers should all get together and leave the rest of us well alone.
The only ones I could possibly sympathise with are the funeral ones for children as no one should really have to prepare for that.

Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 13:55

IAskTooManyQuestions And that is your prerogative. Your choice. TBH - if I'd been you I'd have had private medical insurance and claimed on the policy - again a fool and their money

You can't even insure pre-existing conditions, never mind claim against them! Lucky you to have such premonitions. But I'd never regret paying for it - its got me my movement back, and that's priceless and worth more than a fool's criticism.

OP posts:
Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 14:03

VeniVidiVoxi Maybe I'm just a tight arse but I don't understand why anyone would give money without a personal connection to know the request is genuine or it's such a high profile campaign that there would be scrutiny.

There has been a certain element of sucking people in over time with an ongoing "story". Chap in question set up his own charity which employs him, organising good works abroad and surprised me by being able to afford said house before the age of 30 while working for a charity (which will not be audited to the same standard as a UK based charity). Has a big social media presence in a local context and charges people to go and visit the charity and work for free while over there, plus committing to fundraising. Charity is based in an African country.

Setting up a Go Fund Me seems to fall into the same pattern of getting other people to pay for things. The request relates entirely to his personal life.

OP posts:
ElleDubloo · 22/08/2019 14:06

It’s none of your business, OP. I agree that it’s cheeky, but people do cheeky things all the time. I agree that the donors are stupid, but people do stupid things all the time. As long as they’re not taking your money against your will, then it doesn’t concern you.

Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 14:14

It’s none of your business, OP. I agree that it’s cheeky, but people do cheeky things all the time. I agree that the donors are stupid, but people do stupid things all the time. As long as they’re not taking your money against your will, then it doesn’t concern you.

Public appeals for funding is about as public as you can get. He has made it everyone's business.

Its also not fair on the gullible people who are being asked to pay for this.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 22/08/2019 14:17

But you don’t know what their financial position is? You’re just going off the salary and house price. Which is crazy.

You don’t have to give anything, stop judging.

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 22/08/2019 14:20

Yanbu. CF
I've donated for Cancer treatments for colleagues but this sort of thing gives go fund me a bad name
Some people are vulnerable to a sob story. I've come across people who have donated to various go fund me when they are probably more in need than the GF

IfIShouldFallFromGraceWithGod · 22/08/2019 14:21

Only on MN would d you get the belief that people who have enough money and family support deserve a go fund me
There are many people on here who have no idea what it is like to properly struggle

Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 14:23

Some people are vulnerable to a sob story. I've come across people who have donated to various go fund me when they are probably more in need than the GF

Absolutely! 100%.

OP posts:
Bravelurker · 22/08/2019 14:24

It may seem harsh what I said about gullible people, but I think that if it wasn't gofundme, it would be something else, like Spanish lottery, Nigerian princes or mlm.
I don't fall for this, not because I'm super smart, I just can't afford to. At the same time I think nothing of giving cash, yes cash to beggars on the street, but never to chuggers.
I'm a complicated creature.

Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 14:28

I think people who are going through difficult times, whether that be due to illness, redundancy, recent deaths of loved ones or whatever, are more likely to be gullible, because they think it will bring them good karma or change their bad luck.

One of the saddest things I ever did was have to cancel the direct debits my mother set up when she was suffering from terminal cancer to various charities. She really could not afford to do that, and it was fairly uncharacteristic of her. Once they had got her signed up, they sent her letters trying to persuade her to increase her contributions. It was so awful. Not all charities, I hasten to add. But many of them. In case I'm coming across as heartless, I did donate to charity in her memory.

OP posts:
Leafyhouse · 22/08/2019 14:30

I've always seen GoFundMe as being an acceptable forum for middle class begging.

YouokHun · 22/08/2019 14:44

There’s a woman in the village where I live who a couple of years ago did a gofundme for her dog’s vets fees which were going to top £1800. This with the message that without donations the dog would be put down. A few local animal lovers gave what they could and she raised about £100, so she’d managed to tug a few heart strings though short of her total. She lives in a 2 million pound house, owns a string of event horses worth about £80k and has three children at expensive schools - she didn’t mention those details in her appeal for others’ cash! Dog still alive and kicking.

IAmALazyArse · 22/08/2019 14:52

This fits with one Gofundme I've seen. 10k needed for legal fees, 3k collected, few days old.
Is it 3 women handling it?

Original poster
MagsAndMaeve · 22/08/2019 15:05

This fits with one Gofundme I've seen. 10k needed for legal fees, 3k collected, few days old. Is it 3 women handling it?*

No, it isn't. Its to enable the charity founder's personal life by funding his girlfriend's immigration costs. She isn't a refugee.

OP posts:
smalalalalalala · 22/08/2019 15:16

If you don’t know their outgoings it’s pointless saying they’re on 40k and have a house worth 275k. They could have shit loads of debt. I don’t like the go fund me mentality either but you can’t judge someone for asking on their salary and house value alone.

I agree you shouldn't judge someone by the value of their house/salary BUT if they ask for money it needs to be taken into account.

From there I don't agree about 'without knowing their outgoing'. DP's brother always uses his outgoings as an excuse. He imposed himself driving a luxurious(ish) BMW, buying branded handbags etc.

IAmALazyArse · 22/08/2019 15:28

No, it isn't. Its to enable the charity founder's personal life by funding his girlfriend's immigration costs. She isn't a refugee.

Immigration cases can get extremely expensive when there is some problem. Extremely expensive. I highly doubt you know her immigration situation. You may think you do, but in reality, you don't unless you are extremely close. Which it obvs doesn't sound like.
If people want to donate, it's their prerogative.

DdraigGoch · 23/08/2019 03:03

Fools and their money are easily parted.

Blueoasis · 23/08/2019 06:01

Gofundme is really just proof that the movie idiocracy is coming true. We are becoming more stupid as a population.

She is better off than others, but clearly doesn't want to spend her own money and would rather use the idiots around the world to fund it for her. It's shit but nothing we can do.

NChangingAgain · 23/08/2019 06:03

Chap in question set up his own charity which employs him, organising good works abroad and surprised me by being able to afford said house before the age of 30 while working for a charity (which will not be audited to the same standard as a UK based charity). Has a big social media presence in a local context and charges people to go and visit the charity and work for free while over there, plus committing to fundraising. Charity is based in an African country.

I knew someone who did what sounds exactly the same as this. It was super dodgy. Getting people to pay to go and "help" abroad, taking money out of charity account for his personal stuff, no oversight at all, not registered, the clinic abroad was pointless/didn't work for various reasons but keeping posting on social media about all the great stuff which was going on there and people believed it and donated.

It sounds like this guy should be registered with the charity commission - even if you say the work is abroad if he is employed here, there will be an organisation which should be registered here - please report it to them. It's this kind of thing which can give charities a bad reputation.

And write to the charity trustees (anonymously if you want) expressing concern about how above board things are (or aren't).

ButtercupGirI · 23/08/2019 06:32

It's always about who you are isn't it. Nevermind if you are a millionaire.

Scotlass123 · 23/08/2019 06:36

A £40,000 salary isn’t wealthy

Scotlass123 · 23/08/2019 06:36

And I say that as someone on minimum wage

stucknoue · 23/08/2019 06:41

Depends what it is, if it's immigration related it is a huge amount to pay so lots of go fund mes around

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