To be unsure about 3 weeks in rural Switzerland with a tiny baby?

[dalianialia]

I am due to give birth in late October. PIL have just been in touch to say that their friend's who live in Switzerland are going away for 3 weeks starting in mid December and all the way through to the new year and they have offered PIL their house for that time for a very reasonable price. They want me and DH to come with baby (who will be around 6 weeks old by then, possibly younger if I go overdue) for the entire 3 weeks. DH really is keen to go but I just worry it will be very stressful. It's going to be freezing and the house is well up in the mountains, we will have use of the friend's car which they are going to leave at the airport for us but it's a rough and long drive to get to the shop (they are going to leave the kitcken stocked for us but obviously they don't have baby things, so if we run out of nappies etc or baby needs something we are screwed) or a town, so it's not a holiday where we'll be out during the day etc. We have to drive from the airport to the house which is supposed to be a good few hours. I am going to have a tiny baby and will already be bloody knackered. My hormones are likely going to be all over the place and I'm just concerned by it all.

I feel ungrateful to turn it down but I'm just not sure I'll be able to cope with it, and it's going to be so cold. I have considered just going for the last week but DH thinks if we're going for one week we might as well go for the 3. Do you think it's a good idea?

I live in Canada too onesailwait. It was here that ds got double pneumonia at 10 weeks.
Our gear is much better than your average british tourist who doesn't have the need for such winter clothing and a newborn that isn't used to it either. (I speak AS a former british tourist who now lives in the Rockies ) And frankly, we have a lot more experience driving in blizzards than the op (yeah, it snowed last week on our ski hill) who won't be within easy access to medical support if anything happens.

at six weeks, I wouldn't do it. I'd fly long haul to a ski resort with a hospital though and have done.

Definitely don’t do it.

Baby won’t even have been vaccinated, you could still be establishing feeding, still physically recovering.

Going somewhere isolated without support from HVs and your friends could be disastrous in terms of PND.

It’s honestly a terrible idea.

There are a few things not to worry about...

1. Nappies and baby stuff - just bring plenty.
2. Cold, you buy a decent baby ski suit, the cold is no porblem,
3. ..and houses are much better insulated, you will be too hot rather than too cold.
4. Roads - much better thank UK, snow falling, all the road clearars come out quickly.
5. You will have snow chains on the car and winter tyres (they are mandatory) just make sure someone knows how to put snow chains on!

Things that would worry me

1. small baby on a plane - this would give me most worry for infection risk, and not yet fully vaccinated.
2. not being well enough to travel yourself, I was struggling after DS1, but would have been fine after ds2. (and you aren't going to know this until after the birth!)
3. I think currently you have to stop every 1/2 hour when driving wiith a baby in a car seat..... how far is it to the house?
4. medical emergencies - I know just what to do in UK, not so much in Switzerland. Also insurance.
5. It's very very expensive in Switzerland!

The things that would put me off going would be:

I wouldn't want to fly with such a young baby (I know lots of people do)

A non vaccinated baby on a plane full of germs? Also, will the baby's 8 week vaccinations be delayed?

I wouldn't want to spend 3 weeks with my in-laws

The cost of food etc in Switzerland

You'd probably miss your 6 week check up with the doctor

But mostly your gut feeling. If you don't think it's a good idea while your pregnant, there's no way you'll be going when you actually have the baby.

No way. Far too early and stressful- you might miss your postnatal GP check ups too. However, I would say no very politely as the Swiss mountains are fantastic for kids, so a summer holiday there another year might be amazing for you

You may be fine and you may be not. MN is always dramatic around such subjects so don’t take too much notice OP.

Way it up and if you don’t want to go then say no thanks.

At that stage you need to be in a place that is comfortable for you, and where you feel able to relax. Im going to hazard a guess that that's not going to be in a strange house in a strange country with your in-laws!

Ah, with a 6 week old baby I’d rather be at home

My main concerns would be the cold and altitude. How rural is rural though? Most of CH is not densely populated but still accessible to towns for supplies and healthcare support. You would need private insurance.

Don’t babies have vaccinations at eight weeks? Is there a possibility you’d miss those? It wouldn’t be a disaster but it would throw the rest of the schedule out. I don’t think I’d take an unvaccinated baby on a plane either tbh.

Personally I wouldn’t want to go. The first three months were a bit of a blur of finding our feet and general wondering what the fuck had hit us (and watching a hell of a lot of Netflix!). I think around four months onwards you’ve got a slightly better grip on things.

Aside from that passports, unknown health complications (yours and the babies), general travel stresses sound like they tip the balance. I also agree that it makes a huge difference how supportive your IL’s and DH are likely to be. I can see the side that I probably would have gone to the North Pole with Trump if he’d promised me sleep and showers in the early days!

I think it was a good question whether you would have wanted to go without the baby. That should tell you whether the effort is worth it or not. My opinion would be the same whether it was Switzerland or Dublin, sometimes you just need to be on your own turf.

I would go but not for 3 weeks, maybe 10-12 days instead. Give pil a shopping list before you arrive and they will also have got a feel for the place

That's a lot for you, with such a tiny baby. Sounds like a lovely place to go though, Switzerland is stunning. A cold house would bother me and you have a newborn. Of course, plenty of people have actual lives in such conditions, but they are used to it and can prepare.

Christ. I am a wimp and I stayed in 1 room for 6 weeks so don’t listen to me but I had no idea about birth and I couldn’t believe how bad it was sitting on a chair for 2 months after a tear and episiotomy.

I really really wouldn’t go. What I’ve described above was the LEAST of it

The thing that would put me off would be being effectively licked up with other adults for 3 weeks! No matter how wonderful your PIL, and even if they were your absolute favourite people in the world or the arrangement was with your own parents or your best friends I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with anyone for three weeks so soon post partum.

People have covered the health and recovery elements, but I didn't want "help" when my babies were so young - Google the fourth trimester if you don't already know about it. My relationship with my own mother never recovered from her coming to stay when DC2 was ten days old and insisting on "helping" (inverted commas heavily emphasised) on her own terms which turned out to be expecting to sit in my feeding chair holding my newborn fourteen hours per day and handing him back only if he smelt or she had to admit he needed feeding (breastfeeding), and ordering me to "get on with things while I'm here to hold the baby" - by which she meant cook, clean and make here hot drinks. I honestly hated her after 5 days. My dad had insisted she'd be heart broken if I didn't let her help but she utterly ruined those weeks with my newborn.

Two years later I accepted no help when dc3 came a long and was so much happier and more relaxed caring for my own children with just DH, without any other adult staying in the same house muscling in and wrestling my baby out of my arms.

I say all this as someone who went on holiday with the in-laws when dc3 was 6 weeks old but stayed in entirely separate detached self catering accommodation not in the same house, and only for a week, and in spring in Italy - that was fine, we weren't on top of one another and could be outside most of the time and get away from one another!

Do not get stuck in a house with your in-laws for 3 solid winter weeks during the fourth trimester! It will destroy your relationship with your in-laws and you'll resent them for interfering with your newborn, no matter how much you like them atm!

Living with other adults for 3 weeks in a situation where it's difficult to get out and about would be difficult at the best of times, but unbearable post partum.

*locked not licked

Switzerland is perfectly safe to travel when pregnant. In fact in terms of medical facilities / baby gear / baby friendliness it is far, far more superior to the UK.

*with a newborn not when pregnant!

Sounds lovely usually...... Not with a 6 week old baby. Couldn't think of anything worse. I'd have a lcorly Christmas at home.

Do what makes you feel comfortable. My DM took me on holiday to Yugoslavia when I was 6 weeks old, 50 years ago. She is bonkers though 🤣

I'm normally quite up for taking babies everywhere etc but I could not be arsed with that for 3 whole weeks at 6 weeks post partum.

And its not like you are travelling to visit family who otherwise wouldn't see the baby either is it?

If you're very overdue and you have a traumatic birth you may not have recovered sufficiently to consider this.

I think you'll find that you want to stay at home and recover/get feeding established, without the complications involved in travelling, changing your baby's routine etc.

If you'd had a baby before and knew exactly when this one was going to be born it would be easier to make a decision.

You will find that all your goalposts change once the baby arrives. You'll be surprised at how much your life changes.

As to flying - no problem there.

Pneumonia? That is not caused by cold weather.

It's just the recovery and logistics which would bother me. And being away from home for so long.

It doesn't sound like the hassle of not knowing how your tiny baby will be is worth it.

This as well. If you say yes to this, then basically between now and then you will probably be constantly be stressing on some level if something will go wrong or something will mean that you can't go etc, plus having to sort passport, worrying about how the baby will be on the plane etc etc etc. And it probably isn't worth it is it?

We took DD to rural Austria for two weeks when she was five months old and it was brilliant. However at six weeks old I wouldn't even consider it.

No way, it's a ridiculous suggestion.

A hundred logistical issues come to mind but:

You may struggle to establish breastfeeding if you choose.
Vaccinations?
You're supposed to miss your 6 week checkup?
What if a difficult birth - repairs that may get infected, emergency csection, the list goes on.
Baby could be unwell, not just you!
Passport for 3 week old baby?

... And so on.

Apart from anything at six weeks baby may be cluster feeding like mad.. it's not exactly going to be a fun holiday being sleep deprived, boobs leaking, still bleeding post partum without any access to familiar medical care or support, us it?

Does your partner or in laws have any idea what the first few weeks 9f a new baby looks like?

Sorry OP i wouldn't go, and i've taken my daughter on a few trips abroad.
As people have said you will need your 6 week check, you might still have lochia, baby needs vaccinations so being on the plane would worry me, all those re circulated germs, especially that time of year when people are full of cold.
I think you'll be tired too, not necessarily sleep deprived but body tired after what you'll have been through, your body needs to rest.
I would be staying home snug and warm enjoying cuddles while wearing comfies :-)