Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To be unsure about 3 weeks in rural Switzerland with a tiny baby?

80 replies

dalianialia · 21/08/2019 22:16

I am due to give birth in late October. PIL have just been in touch to say that their friend's who live in Switzerland are going away for 3 weeks starting in mid December and all the way through to the new year and they have offered PIL their house for that time for a very reasonable price. They want me and DH to come with baby (who will be around 6 weeks old by then, possibly younger if I go overdue) for the entire 3 weeks. DH really is keen to go but I just worry it will be very stressful. It's going to be freezing and the house is well up in the mountains, we will have use of the friend's car which they are going to leave at the airport for us but it's a rough and long drive to get to the shop (they are going to leave the kitcken stocked for us but obviously they don't have baby things, so if we run out of nappies etc or baby needs something we are screwed) or a town, so it's not a holiday where we'll be out during the day etc. We have to drive from the airport to the house which is supposed to be a good few hours. I am going to have a tiny baby and will already be bloody knackered. My hormones are likely going to be all over the place and I'm just concerned by it all.

I feel ungrateful to turn it down but I'm just not sure I'll be able to cope with it, and it's going to be so cold. I have considered just going for the last week but DH thinks if we're going for one week we might as well go for the 3. Do you think it's a good idea?

OP posts:

FairyDust92 · 21/08/2019 22:49

I wouldn't tbh. My baby is 6 weeks and I still feel I'm not ready to take him that far. That's just me though and probably a bit nuts 😂. I haven't taken him in a car journey either over 30 minutes yet and my partner does the driving so I still sit in the back with him 😳.

jpclarke · 21/08/2019 23:05

You might not even have a passport for baby in that time frame particularly like you said if you go over. I think it's too much to ask to be so remote in a place you are not familiar with. Depending on how you decide to feed your baby, baby formula could be different. You will have checkups with health visitor etc too.

CodenameVillanelle · 21/08/2019 23:09

That's a mad idea. You need to just say no. Your husband has no idea how stressful and awful that would be for all of you.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 21/08/2019 23:16

At six weeks after DD1 we went to a wedding a few hours away. We had to drop twice to feed so it took bloody hours to get there. We got a room at the hotel for the eat so I could feed. My hormones were crazy and I was in am almost constant sweat. Baby 1 was a dream baby so she was cool being passed around. Had it been DD2, a screamer it would have been impossible.

As it was I just wanted to be at home. In my comfies. With only partner. No onlookers. Peace and quiet. And I’m really sociable. It’s a special precious time but you really don’t need to add any extra pressure on.

We have our first Christmas as a 3 as Dd had a high temp so we didn’t fly to family celebration. It was bloody wonderful.

zzzzzzzz12345 · 21/08/2019 23:16

awful typing, apologies

firawla · 21/08/2019 23:18

I wouldn’t go for any of it. It doesn’t sound like it’s going to be fun, it’ll be stressful at that age especially in close quarters with in-laws and being so remote

Skinnydogfatcat1 · 21/08/2019 23:19

Just don't do it. You are going to want to be home with all your comforts around you. Not sure I would go for a week to be honest.

Userzzzzz · 21/08/2019 23:20

Personally I wouldn’t at that age. I wouldn’t want to go through a busy airport until the 16w imms we’re done. At 8 weeks I was starting to get better sleep but between 4-6 was peak colic for my second baby. She would scream and scream until about 10pm and then my husband and I would then take it out on each other.

The other thing to think about is feeding. I was going to breastfeed... until I couldn’t. Lugging 3 weeks of formula would have been a pain and wouldn’t have been something I’d have thought about when pregnant at all.

On the other hand, my current baby was a delight during the day at 6 weeks. I could just shove her in the sling and she’d sleep wherever. She’s much fussier now at 5m. My first was a sling refuser but was otherwise chilled out. If I could teleport, a day-time only holiday would have been lovely with both my babies. It would have been the nights and travelling that broke us.

Userzzzzz · 21/08/2019 23:23

Oh and both times my lochia didn’t stop until 8 weeks so I wouldn’t have been able to use any nice facilities like pools or spas.
And there is always a risk you might need a section.

TapasForTwo · 21/08/2019 23:23

Flying in a germ ridden plane in winter with a baby that won't have had any vaccinations? No way.

Eloisedublin123 · 21/08/2019 23:29

No too stressful

Lunde · 21/08/2019 23:42

I'm not sure that the cold or remoteness are really big factors but then again I had my babies in rural Sweden and took my first home from the hospital in minus 28C.

However i would be cautious as you cannot plan exactly how everything will work out - if your baby is late you could be only 4 weeks postpartum and it will be a rush to get a passport (possible VISA if no deal Brexit). The other issue is that you cannot tell whether "you" will be up to it. You don't know what sort of birth you will have and how long your recovery will take - at 4-8 weeks I couldn't have done it (traumatic "normal" delivery, 60 stitches, massive blood loss, postpartum surgery). However at 12 weeks we were able to go abroad to meet MIL.

I would also probably not want my first baby trip abroad to be during the madness that will be Christmas/New Year travel chaos in crowded airports, drunk passengers and people coughing everywhere. You won't have even had the first set of vaccinations.

timeisnotaline · 21/08/2019 23:50

No dont. I have travelled at that age with both children but 1. They were both late so even younger 2. You needed passport looked into in advance to get it in time, so dh knew exactly what to do 3. It was summer in Europe for both 4. It was only a week and the entire holiday was worked around what I felt comfortable with - slow mornings, not too much walking, etc. I wouldn’t do 3 weeks 5. I wouldn’t have gone with pil because of working around other people and they would want to hold baby much more than I’m comfortable with - not getting to hold your baby as much as you want is pretty awful at that age; and last , walking in snow is a lot of effort. My pelvis / groin wouldn’t have been up to it at that point.
Lost track of my numbers but 3 weeks is also too long to be far from a gp and medical system you understand at that age.

ColdCottage · 21/08/2019 23:53

I wouldn't go. Too much extra stress. Plus I don't think you are meant to drive more than 30 mins with a baby until they are older.

Next year it will be lovely. This year I'd snuggle down at home.

Polyjuice · 21/08/2019 23:58

I have had multiple children, love Switzerland, love the mountains, took my tiny baby on a 6 hour drive down to Cornwall, but there is absolutely no way I would do what they are suggesting, sorry. I just don’t see what’s in it for you? Going and sitting in someone else’s house for 3 weeks - it’s not like you’ll be doing much hiking/skiing or sightseeing is it?! You’ll just be feeding/changing etc in a strange house. Don’t understand why you would go, frankly.

Branleuse · 22/08/2019 00:02

I wouldn't do it. You might not even get passport in time for a start, but i honestly think there's such high chance you really won't want to. Tell them you ll do something with them in summer or nect xmas instead

Templetonstunafish · 22/08/2019 00:14

I wouldn't do it. I was absolutely wiped out by birth and wanted to be at home with my own things, starting my new life and establishing breastfeeding which took much longer than I thought it would.

LollyBmummy3 · 22/08/2019 00:14

We went on pre planned full family trip to Portugal when our baby was 3 weeks old. It was actually much less stressful than I thought it would be. But it wasn’t rural and it wasn’t cold and the Villa had everything we needed. Switzerland in the winter would be beautiful, but I’m not sure it’s right for a new baby. If I were you I’d tell dh just how you feel. Maybe you can go in a year or two. 🍀

brilliotic · 22/08/2019 00:31

Switzerland is really small, I can't imagine where you'd be going that would take hours of driving from the airport and would be a long distance from a hospital. We go frequently, to about as 'middle of the mountains' as you can get, it's under 2.5h from airport. And though the local hospital has closed, the next one is only half an hour away. The health care/medical system is excellent. Much lower infant mortality, for instance!
Also pack your baby into a sling and go for marvelous winter walks. Enjoy the winter sunshine, the cold fresh air, whilst the rest of the world is stuck under a cover of grey clouds. Probably you have less risk of slipping on ice than if there should be a cold spell in England, where usually only main roads get properly cleared.

That said, I'd still say no.

We were lucky to receive the passport in time for Christmas travel - when DS was four months old. It was quite stressful waiting and not knowing if it would arrive ... Wouldn't want that stress in the first weeks!

By 6 weeks we were just starting to return to some semblance of normality. Granted, we had a somewhat tricky start with an infection and feeding difficulties. But at 4 weeks neither of us was sleeping for more than 3h at a time, and we were both completely and utterly exhausted. Needing to plan for a trip abroad would have nudged me over the edge!

Yes we did go to a wedding with overnight stay at 6 weeks, it was a major operation and we took half our household with us incl the microwave! (To warm frozen EBM and sterilise bottles with our microwave steriliser) We had a good time but I retired at around 9pm with baby and am not sure it was really worth it... -Depends how you get along with the ILs, but three weeks is a long time, especially when you (or your baby) are only six weeks old!

Of course it could all be fine. I just wouldn't want the stress of it all needing to be fine. What if there is a delay with the passport? What if there is some health issue (for you or baby) and you get a follow-up appointment for when you'll be away? What if you get PND? What if baby has severe reflux and screams for hours and hours?

Is your DH perhaps keen to go because he really is looking forwards to spending time bonding with the baby, but doesn't feel he can take the time off work if you will 'just' be at home? Talk to him about it, perhaps he will realise that having a weeks-old baby at home is enough justification by itself! Make it a staycation, tell the ILs that their friend's offer is marvellous and you'd love to go another time but just not right this time.

HeddaGarbled · 22/08/2019 00:43

We went away with family the first Christmas after my daughter was born - recently bereaved MIL, so felt we had to - and it was really difficult. We were barely coping with the new baby as it was. Coping with a new baby, not being in our own home and a 24-7 audience to our not-really-coping was not an experience I would ever voluntarily repeat.

pensionpot · 22/08/2019 00:50

Another thing to consider is could you get a passport quickly enough? Especially if baby is overdue

IPityThePontipines · 22/08/2019 00:51

It sounds a bit of a faff, especially at only 6 weeks old. I also think you don't want to go and that's ok.

However. Babies are much easier to travel with than toddlers. We first took DD2 to visit my in-laws (5 hour flight) when she was 3 months old and it was an absolute doddle. Flying with a toddler, not so much.

Purpleartichoke · 22/08/2019 00:56

It’s too soon.
You have no idea how you tired you will be. Some women bounce right back, many do not. You may still be getting the hang of breastfeeding.

Most importantly, infants are not supposed to spend long spells in car seats. The drive will take at least twice as long as normal. You may also end up with a child who simply screams the entire car ride.

BeanBag7 · 22/08/2019 01:11

I agree with your DH in so far as if you're going for one week you might as well go for three weeks. However. I wouldnt want to go at all.

My main concern would be the drive to the house if it is indeed "a good few hours" as you will have to stop every 30 minutes.

Also you will be bored as you'll probably be stuck to the sofa feeding the baby all day, especially if breastfeeding. Will you be able to do this comfortably with PIL around? Or will you have to sit in your bedroom half the day? Will you be able to just slum in your PJs and watch Netflix if you have a bad night, or will you be expected to make polite chit chat with your in laws? Will you be able to go out for a walk for 15 minutes to get fresh air or will that require togging up in 5 layers? Sounds like too much hassle for me with a (potentially) 4 week old.

MinnieMountain · 22/08/2019 06:24

It doesn't sound like the hassle of not knowing how your tiny baby will be is worth it.
I've spent time in Saas-Fee in December with a 2yo. The beautiful snowy walks are lovely but there wasn't much else to do. And you'd have 3 weeks to fill.
At 3-6 weeks you'll still be recovering physically and establishing routines. We had a shaky start with BF which didn't feel sorted until 4 weeks.

Flip

1 2 3 4