To have a massive the after effects of my horrendous pregnancy?

[Shehz21]

And I'm not even pregnant anymore!
I had a HORRIBLE pregnancy 2 years ago and I'm still not over it. I felt nauseous 24/7 and threw up most days throughout the 9 months. Surprisingly due to a horrible diet of only being able to keep down carbs and coke,I gained weight massively going from a size 8 to a size 16. (FINALLY managed to come down to a size14). Due to putting on so much weight so quick,I am left with so many stretch marks,it's hard to find a meter square of skin without any. I couldn't brush my teeth most days because sticking a toothbrush in my mouth made me even more nauseous and the result of it is a lot of gum/decay problems today. I had horrible pelvic problems while pregnant which is still f*cking ongoing! I can't sleep on my side without something between my legs.
Oh I forgot to mention due to being the weight I was and not being able to leave my bed most days because of horrible effing nausea the moment I even sit up, I left a dent in my mattress!!
Now I have a 15kg toddler who wants to hang by my hip most days and Its really not helping my bad back and pelvic problem. I have lost any sense of self confidence and self love. I love my little girl though. Only good thing that came out of this big fat nightmare. Thank you for reading MN.
Please feel free to share some of your experiences so I don't feel as lonely in my misery.

Saggy breasts, stretch marks, prolapse, damaged vagina, lower back damage. No, I have never been the same since giving birth. Resented it for years but less bothered now.

But.... look what we did!! All of us! That's some feat for a body.

My teeth moved, so I now need braces which I cannot afford.

My breasts droop. My bum is saggy. I have a jelly belly, complete with c section overhang, which at least hides the scar😁

I lost all of my muscle tone, and didn't enjoy sex again for years because my vagina changed shape.

My face has aged because of the years of sleep deprivation (4 kids).

My hair and skin dried out.

I think that's everything. Oh no, wait, I started drooling in my sleep whilst pregnant, and this still continues, 4 years after my last pregnancy.

AND my pelvic floor muscles are wrecked (although I have started using a toner machine thingy that I bought online and I think the results are good already).

And I'm clearly insane, because I really miss being pregnant

I was going to suggest pilates to improve muscle tone, especially round your middle - makes you look thinner too. Start with a proper beginner's class if you can.

Yep tooth trouble here. Hence the username. I have free dental for a few more months but can't get a bloody dentist appointment for a filling and extraction and am in agony! I have another 4 weeks to wait. They kept canceling my appointments before. Now I have to wait as no child care until kids are at school! Being a woman is literally painful. I have loose joints Amway with random pains. 4 kids later I feel very old. I'm not even 30 yet. Back pain. Headaches, indigestion oh it can go on. Oh and go will only give hormonal contraception. They don't do diaphragms now apparently. And no I don't want the copper coil... apparently. I also have a kangaroo pouch. I lost weight. Still have the pouch. Never changed.

I still have my pregnancy pillow in between my legs and DC is 7...must get a new pillow I think .
The stretch marks are phenomenal on me...loads of them so at least you know you're not alone.
My spd HAS gotten better bow that my core is stronger through exercise but it's still there and I don't think I'll ever get back to normal.
Make sure you have a little me time every day if you can and that will make you feel better about yourself.
I go to the gym now and am finally a size 10 again and feel amazing but I had a few years of feeling guilty about even leaving my DC for an hour but it's so needed o wish I'd done it sooner

I hear you.

I had two awful pregnancies in 3 years.
The first one I had SPD and was on crutches, then went massively overdue (42+5) and had an EMCS with a huge baby. I was a model figured (smug) size 8-10 willowy beauty beforehand , and overnight I was size 18 with stretch marks everywhere and severe sleep deprivation.

Second pregnancy I had hyperemesis and although I didn’t put on much weight, I was as sick as a dog throughout and lost 8 months of my life being sick and crying . Another EMCS to boot.

You can get it all back, though, promise. Takes time though and you can’t necessarily do it when they’re little. But as mine got older I was able to lose weight, tone up, feel good about myself again.

Go easy on yourself.

*And the random feeling like the baby is kicking when there is no baby is very freaky!

YES! It’s so weird.*

I had this. I was advised on mumsnet that it was a mineral deficiency. I took multivitamin (A-Z type thing) for a month and it went away.

Growing and birthing babies is fucking hard. It takes it's toll on your body. You are not alone OP. Rant away!!

You should do pilates!! My pilates teacher does ‘personal plans’ which are videos you access on her site and can do at home, most of them 10-20 mins. I have a terrible pelvic floor and wobbly pelvis and at the moment I am doing pilates to focus on these and you can notice the effects pretty much straight away.

As for stories to make you feel better, my eldest is 4 and I am still suffering from his birth - born very quickly and I had a 3c tear then moved out of the area so missed some aftercare. Recently I went to a trampoline workout session and I mean, I just pissed myself for the entire session 😄 honestly it was terrible but luckily I had a heavy duty pad on and no-show trousers. This prompted the pilates action!!

Can’t really blame my second child for much as he was a c section.

I was a size 16 when getting pregnant and still am and yet I’m still covered in stretch marks!!

Pregnancy was hard for me too, such with various pregnancy illnesses the whole way through. My body has charged alot aswell, weight gain, jelly belly, stretch marks and my feet are a size bigger! I second the recommendation of an osteopath for pelvic pain, I was in agony for months after the birth and now am about 90% better! Cost €75 euro a session and needed about 8 sessions but so worth it!

Same here.

My teeth and gums are a mess.

I have a widows peak that was never there before after my hair came out in handfuls after giving birth

I also can't sleep on my side without something between my legs otherwise my hips feel like they're dislocating

My back is fucked after an epidural and I have intermittent sciatica. Last time it flared I was on a staircase when my whole right leg went numb. Nearly fell down the sodding things.

I had terrible pregnancy acne that has left my face covered in acne scars. My skin was basically perfect before even as a teenager. I still get more spots than I ever used to.

I swelled up like a balloon with pregnancy induced hypertension and have stretch marks absolutely everywhere. Arms, belly, boobs, hips going round to my back, thighs, calves, even my ankles have them.

And no they are not fucking 'Tiger stripes' they are permanently damaged skin that hurts if I scrub it too hard (by which I mean at all) in the shower.

My pelvic floor is shot and my belly has a permanent pooch of loose skin.

Have a whacking great big scar from a second degree tear going one way and a slightly smaller scar from a second 2nd degree tear going the other way which by turns pull uncomfortably or itch.

My feet are a size bigger so had to throw out my favourite shoes as they no longer fit.

My hips are wider so despite being lighter I'm still a dress size bigger.

And my hair is going grey. I'm blaming that on pregnancy stress too as I found the first one at around four months pregnant. I was only 22.

My dc is nearly six.

It's shit.

This is one of the myriad reasons I only have one.

I genuinely don’t know why women put themselves through it. It’s not worth it in my opinion! I’m giving it a miss altogether!!

Thanks for that valuable contribution there, Skittlenommer, remind me to pop onto the next childfree support thread to say “oh WOW your lives seem so dull, can’t imagine what you get out of this!”

Gee, skittlenommer, do you ever get tired of boring on about your shiny meaningless childfree life in inappropriate places?

For all posting who have pelvic floor / incontinence issues, these are not something you just have to accept!

PLEASE go back to a specialist physio, if that doesn't work, get a gynae referral for surgical options.

It's true that they won't necessarily perform surgery if you plan on more children, but regardless there are options.

Wearing Tena liners or accepting that you pee when you sneeze / laughter - this is madness! You are affecting your quality of life, your option to exercise and your own confidence. You deserve better and options are available.

I realise I'm on the extremer end. We had IVF. I had PUPPS (hospitalised because it was that bad), SPD, morning sickness the entire pregnancy. It was horrible. Finally after a year of regularly going to get my hips realigned I thought I was out the woods, then I was told that pregnancy had triggered and auto-immune disease, MS.
So yeah, pregnancy ruined me.

That's a bit harsh on @Skittlenommer!

It's understandable that she might read this and feel like she wouldn't want kids, and it was probably light-hearted.

She can read any thread she wants and post where she wants to, btw!

Skittle the accounts here are very tough, sure, (and huge sympathy to those affected), many, many women very fortunately don't have those experiences, so don't make a decision too readily!

Elaine Miller is a very experienced physio who specialises in pelvic/vaginal/anal physio for NHS in Scotland. She is also a stand up comedian. She’s great. Makes the whole issue around incontinence etc easy to talk and laugh about.
I post a link to her blog outlining her approach, why she does what she does etc. She said having 3 giant headed babies wrecked her undercarriage...
www.kegel8.co.uk/blog/guest-blog-by-physiotherapist-elaine-miller-of-gusset-grippers

skittle has previous for showing up on every thread about the challenges of pregnancy/birth/having children/relationships after children to say "gosh, having children is so DISGUSTING AND AWFUL, I'm so glad I'm not as stupid as you lot who have them!"

Oh, didn't realise that CmdrCressidaDuck

Oh wow I feel so bad saying this but I already feel so much better reading these responses and knowing it's not only me still suffering with all these ongoing issues. However this thread has encouraged me to sign up for pilate classes and still looking for a good chiropractor/osteopath in East London.
I feel like there are some things that will never change though. Like I have lost a part of myself already such as smooth flawless skin on my body. The skin is damaged from the stretch marks and I feel very self conscious of being naked infront of DH now and I feel this will be the case forever. There is no going back from these.
I sure hope something can be done about the bad back and pelvic floor problems though, definitely damaging to self esteem and quality of life I admit.
Hats to all the Mums with more than 1 after having gone through it once and decide to go through it all over again requires a lot of courage from my POV.
Oh and also no going back from wider hips and ribs I suppose.

Hi five to all the pillow between legs team

@BillywigSting Same. I have decided to stop at just the one because of almost 4 degree tear from giving birth to 10 pound baby who decided to come way too quick!

Im desperate to start TTC (no kids presently, implant coming out v soon) and threads like this do terrify me but its still not putting me off... I must be mad :D

My baby is 9 weeks old and now I'm terrified as I was adamant things would improve 😂

I currently have a tummy that resembles a water bed, a torn bum (😳), a leaky bladder and a vagina that has so much scar tissue I don't even know where to begin 🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh and my hair has started to fall out which I was told wouldn't happen for ages if I breastfed so that was a lie!

@AlpacaGoodnight I am ordering this straighaway! Thank you for the recommendation, seems like a good solution for carrying my big girl!

@MrsMaow Aww big hugs to you
I feel like my pains are nothing as compared to you. Hope all of it gets a lot better when they grow up and we have more time to concentrate on our wellbeing. Just thinking about the nausea puts me off pregnancy honestly