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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DSS and his next girlfriend

68 replies

Myfeetarekillingme · 21/08/2019 17:56

Step son is 20 lives with his mum but visits me and his dad EOW. He’s had a few “serious” girlfriends and we’ve had a few over to stay the night (last count was gf no 5). He’s now moved onto gf no 6 and wants her to stay over.

I’m a step mum who met him when he was a teen. We get on well but we don’t have the parent bond, I wouldn’t expect to. I struggle a bit with him still sticking to the childcare arrangement that was set up
When he was a child and wonder why he’s still sticking so ridgidly to it and not wanting to spend more time with his mates at 20? I find “days out” with a 20 year old a bit strange.

Anyway to get back to the AIBU, I know you’ll tell me I am, but am I wrong to feel
Like my small terraced home is not the place for DSS to conduct one sexual conquest after another? His bedroom is next to ours and I’m getting a bit sick of giggling teenage girls and their bed banging?

It’s like he wants to be a grown up when it suits and a child when it suits.

OP posts:

mogtheexcellent · 22/08/2019 17:31

is the girlfriend allowed to stay over at his house? (the one he shares with mum) Maybe she is stricter?

I would be annoyed though.

Poochandmutt · 22/08/2019 17:54

I would not put up with that from my son .
My daughters boyfriend has moved in to live with us ,after they had been together a year .
No one disrespects my home by bringing a string of people back to have sex with .

hsegfiugseskufh · 22/08/2019 17:56

Sorry but if you've been fine with GFs 1-5 staying over, I can't see how you can start saying 'no' now

She can say no to whatever she wants whenever she wants. Its her home!

stucknoue · 22/08/2019 18:10

Ok she's my daughter but I spend a lot of time with my 20 year old and often go places with her. It's not weird he wants to see his dad

Purpleartichoke · 22/08/2019 18:30

One of the normal consequences of living with your parents as an adult is not being able to bring dates home. I might make an exception for an extremely long term partner if there was also a good reason said adult was not getting their own place.

EggysMom · 22/08/2019 18:34

Just embarrass him by calling the girl by the name of the previous conquest

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 22/08/2019 18:40

YABU

UpsydaisyandIgglePiggleareatit · 22/08/2019 18:49

Love how when it’s a bio child of this age they are adults and need to sort themselves out. When it’s a step kid they are still children and are apparently allowed to do what the hell they like because they’ve suffered a parent split. Most parents are split these days. My kids, bio and step are all treated the same. Wouldn’t be happy with this from any of them and neither would DH.
Talk to DH, find out how he feels, talk about how you feel and try and come up with a solution.

adaline · 22/08/2019 19:53

Why does he have a home at his mums house but not his dads?

That's really sad imo.

hsegfiugseskufh · 22/08/2019 19:54

Because he lives at his mums house?

adaline · 22/08/2019 20:03

He should have a home with both parents!

hsegfiugseskufh · 22/08/2019 20:15

Well he would if he lived 50/50 with each parent but considering hes an adult that would be weird.

He visits eow. Why would it be his home? Hes welcome and has a bedroom but its not his home...

BenjiB · 22/08/2019 21:41

Yanbu. Absolutely no way, a serious girlfriend is fine but it’s a home not a knocking shop.

CSIblonde · 22/08/2019 21:47

Of course he still wants to see his Dad. My friend still saw her Dad EOW as agreed, until her mid 20's, only the 'outings' were the pub come 18. He'll get a long term gf & want to move in with her soon anyway (he's obv soending time with his peer group if he's meeting girls).

MoaningMinnie1 · 22/08/2019 21:51

Myfeetarekillingme........":am I wrong to feel
Like my small terraced home is not the place for DSS to conduct one sexual conquest after another? His bedroom is next to ours and I’m getting a bit sick of giggling teenage girls and their bed banging? "
-----
I don't think you are unreasonable about that, most of us wouldn't like it, your home isn't a knocking shop. It is nice that he likes your home and considers it his but there are limits to what anyone should do jn their parents' house.

Someone may have already asked this but does he behave the same at his mum's?

Maybe it's about time he got a flat of his own or went into a house share.

MoaningMinnie1 · 22/08/2019 21:52

EggysMom
Just embarrass him by calling the girl by the name of the previous conquest grin
--
:-) Excellent idea!

user1487194234 · 23/08/2019 07:11

In my view it is his home
I think it is great that he wants to spend time with his Dad
I don't think it is true that most parents have split up

makingmammaries · 23/08/2019 07:17

YANBU. Put an end to the shagfest in your home. I wouldn’t let my sons do that.

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