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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DM putting dog to sleep

46 replies

DogWorried · 20/08/2019 09:41

Morning all, I've NCd as their are outing details in this post.

My DM and DF live in a private rented house with my DS (18yo) due to my DF falling ill where his business went under and our family home was repossessed.

My DM has had a message from her LL (who is dodgy as hell) suggesting that she wants to kick my DM and DF and turn the house into a holiday let like she has done to the house next door.

Obviously, DM is worried sick about the uncertainty of their future and has said that if they have to move she'll have to put their dog down as it'll be near impossible to find another private rent that will allow a big dog and no one will adopt him as he's old (10).

Is there anyway to convince my DM to put the dog up for adoption if the worst should happen? Any good dog shelters you could recommend. Our poor dog is a gentle giant and I can't bare the thought of him being put down.

I can't take him in myself as I'm in a private rental myself and are not allowed any dogs at all. Sad

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 20/08/2019 09:43

I'd be more worried about your parents having to move while your dad is ill tbh.

19lottie82 · 20/08/2019 09:44

Can’t you say you’re taking him home then take him straight to the dogs trust?

DogWorried · 20/08/2019 09:46

Luckily my DF has recovered and is back working full-time. Has been for a few years now.

I don't think I could get away with lying to them. They know we're not allowed any dogs as we've asked permission in the past for one.

OP posts:
Saucery · 20/08/2019 09:47

Look for smaller breed specific rescues as they often make more effort to foster and rehome older dogs than the larger ones.
The one I support wouldn’t see 10 as an age barrier. They don’t see 14/15 as an age barrier tbh!

dollydaydream114 · 20/08/2019 09:51

My sister lived in two private rentals that were happy to have her two (huge) dogs. I think she payed a slightly larger deposit but it wasn’t extortionate. Basically the landlords were glad to have an older (50s) tenant who was clearly going to be reliable so were happy to accept the (also older!) dogs too. Helps if it’s property with laminate or wood floors rather than carpets, and unfurnished.

yellowallpaper · 20/08/2019 09:54

There is a charity that rehires older dogs. I'm not sure what it's called by our older dog was rehomed successfully. Maybe google to find it?

Chickychoccyegg · 20/08/2019 09:58

im in a private rental and have 2 big dogs and a cat, so there are some out there.
I dont understand why she wont even consider rehoming the dog and why getting it put to sleep would be a better idea, when that would be a very very last resort, and more than likely completely unnecessary

Smellbow · 20/08/2019 10:03

I'd concentrate on helping them find a rental that will take a dog - they are out there. It sounds like your mum is panicking a bit, so hopefully it won't come to that. Then if they can't find the right rental, they could contact a rescue to see if they can find another home during the notice period or a foster home the dog could go into, so the dog doesn't have to go into kennels. Although rescues will take older dogs, those dogs are often in kennels for a long time, sometimes the rest of their lives, so I think it's not unreasonable for her to have raised putting to sleep as a possibility. A dog that has known nothing but a loving home will not understand being abandoned.

fatfluffycushion · 20/08/2019 10:09

Depending on where you are we have ( Kent / Sussex ) last chance , they seem to do very good work also the dogs trust are amazing and I would completely recommend them , don't be negative about his age I've had several older dogs for their last years and given them a quality life so people do take in older animals, Sussex has another ice place called raystede .
I would look to find a shelter straight away rather than later and then get your parents to look for further accommodation for themselves as I would expect the LL will do as she has indicated

Idontwanttotalk · 20/08/2019 10:14

Your DPs should start looking now for places to rent that will accept dogs. At the same time they could advertise to try and re-home their dog, just in case they can't find rented accommodation where the dog will be allowed. How much notice would they be served by their LL?

Of course you should try and convince your DPs to re-home the dog rather than have the dog put to sleep.

If you can't find a new home for the dog, then, if necessary, take the dog to The Dogs Trust or similar dog sanctuary in your area. Would such a place look after the dog temporarily until your parents could find a suitable place? Contact them now and ask them.

There is no excuse for having a dog put to sleep in preference to trying to re-home it.

TheShepherdsCrown · 20/08/2019 10:23

Do try to see if your parents can find a new rental which will allow dogs. But it’s not always that easy. This site might help www.letswithpets.org.uk/

Here are some web links that might help with adoption. The final one links to a page showing older dogs for adoption but I thought it might be useful as there are links to a variety you of rescues that’s clearly deal with older dog shops and you might see one in your area.
Older dogs
www.oldies.org.uk/
rescuedogs.org.uk/
www.dogsblog.com/category/age/6-years/

DuMondeB · 20/08/2019 10:35

Breed specific rescues are best (and often take crosses, so don’t be put off if your mum’s dog is a mix).

Older dogs are more popular than you might assume - I’d happily take an old dog on, as long as it fitted in with my others!

DuMondeB · 20/08/2019 10:39

Also, private renting can be an absolute nightmare so sympathy to your ma and pa.

I actually ended up buying my place directly from my landlord because he needed to sell (totally understandable, he was elderly and had to pay for at-home care) and I didn’t want to move my autistic son in an already stressful year. It was only possible with help from my family - most people aren’t so lucky and are at the mercy of their landlords whims.

Hope they find something suitable soon.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 20/08/2019 10:46

I private rent and have a dog with permission from the landlord - it reduced my options, but it wasn't impossible.

Age isn't necessarily a barrier to rehoming - I know a local rescue recently rehomed a 16 year old dog. I'd start with Dogs Trust and failing that try local or breed rescues. Avoid the likes of the RSPCA or Battersea as they do put down a substantial proportion of the dogs that come in.

It might be an idea to start putting feelers out locally - they may have a friend who knows of someone who would like an older dog, or even someone they already know who likes the dog enough to offer it a home.

Disfordarkchocolate · 20/08/2019 10:49

We had a dog in two private rentals, my sone currently does. It's harder but not impossible, they need to ask each landlord and offer to pay an extra deposit. Rehoming is the next option, older dogs do get rehomed.

TheShepherdsCrown · 20/08/2019 10:51

Doh
links to a variety you of rescues that’s clearly deal with older dog shops and you might see one in your area. caffeine failure alert
Rewriting that now after my first cup of coffee
links to a variety of rescues that clearly deal with older dog adoptions and you might see one in your area.

Summerunderway · 20/08/2019 10:51

We paid £100 deposit for each ddog. Ll no issues at all.
At 10 my ddog has just beaten cancer.
Can't imagine pts for convenience....
We found out house in 10 weeks with extensive searching, but found one.
It's what you do when you have ddog responsibilities...

Honeyroar · 20/08/2019 10:52

Rescues are over run and it IS more difficult to rehome an older dog. In my opinion it's a horrible thing to do to an oldie unless you absolutely have to. Can you not try to find somewhere they could rent that they could take the dog to? Start looking early, offer a larger deposit if need be?

Twooter · 20/08/2019 11:05

Look at all the options re renting, and fostering/ rehoming the dog. However, for a 10 year old large breed dog I would be tempted to PTS before putting it in a kennelled rescue centre unless they have potential homes lined up. I would hate the thought of my dog being stressed, confused and without the walks, loving cuddles and slobbing around our on laps, and believe pts would be a fairer option.

Wonkybanana · 20/08/2019 11:14

If they're being threatened with eviction your DM is going to have a lot on her mind. So pts may seem the simplest solution without the hassle of finding somewhere for the dog to go. She may also genuinely think that no-one would want a dog that old, or that the dog is too old to settle into a new family.

If you don't want the dog pts, then I think it would be kindest if you did the legwork for her of finding somewhere that would re-home him - not just finding a name of an organisation on the internet, but actually speaking to them, going to see them. That way you can explain to your mum and be able to state with certainty that he would be looked after and happy.

Summerunderway · 20/08/2019 11:44

What sort of vet would do this anyway?

SuzieSunshine · 20/08/2019 14:59

That was my thought @Summer. I didn't think vets put animals to sleep if they were otherwise fit and well.

Purpleartichoke · 20/08/2019 15:08

I wouldn’t want to surrender a dog that was unlikely to be re-homed because that means the dog will eventually be euthanized by the shelter. So the dog dies surrounded by loved ones or the dog languishes in a shelter and dies alone. The first option is better.

I would try to convince them
To leave it to the very last minute and then help them look both for accommodation and someone to adopt directly.

Hairsprayqueeen · 20/08/2019 15:08

I'm a landlord who takes dogs as are my parents. It's doable. But, try going on every single animal rescue/vegan page on Facebook, join obviously, explain the situation and put your parents in touch. It would be very sad to have dog PTS when there are options albeit sometimes not the easiest ones.

Hairsprayqueeen · 20/08/2019 15:10

summer suzie vets will and they do. The concern if they dont is folk may 'put down' themselves in a brutal way. I have known kind hearted vets try to find homes on limited time, when instructed to do this but it's their personal choice, not a given. If a customer says the dog needs putting down, it's protocol for many vets if not all.

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