To think some people over estimate what counselling can achieve ?

[Lardlizard]

Thinking about something my mum said about how someone she knows should have had counselling for a breavement she went through

Well, I’m certainly not against counselling at all
Anything that helps
Is good as far as I’m concerned
But it’s as if some people thjng no matter what hell you’ve been through
Have a few counselling sessions and all will be right

I’ve had 2 blocks of 6 sessions with 2 different counsellors. The first wasn’t a good fit at all, but I had to go through with all the sessions as it was through work.
The second block was a few months ago, and I think it was the right counsellor for me. It has helped minorly in that it’s helped me accept my feelings about one specific issue. However it’s not been life changing. I’m still suffering badly with a bout of depression that’s proving hard to get myself out of, despite having managed to get it under control in the past, and despite me trying hard to do all the “right” things such as exercise.
It was suggested to me just this week that a prolonged course of psychotherapy Might help. I’m on the fence just now, as I find it very difficult to help🤷🏼‍♀️

Thing is potatoes that’snvictim blaming to me

It didn’t work because of YOU

We can now see trauma healing in the brain with talking therapies due to advancements in medical science so it's not really good enough to say 'its snake oil' anymore because it probably can help heal but more right to say that you have to be active in the process and find the right counsellor.

@skittlesandbeer i think thats a very good perspective.

I have had counselling several times. I have also had psychotherapy.

I have benefitted so much from this. It has helped me reframe things that have happened. Decisions that I have made. Things I have been through. It has helped me get to know myself, and its been incredibly therapeutic.
It has also taught me not to catastrophise. To not dwell unecessarily and also to not hate myself when I do unfortunately do these things, but to recognise. It has made me more resilient. It has made me realise that the only answer to my shit, comes from myself

Counselling doesn’t make it something alright. It does give you space to talk/analyse things in a safe space with someone independent. I had counselling about 2 years after my mum died. I was taking ADs to cope with anxiety. The counselling helped me to think about the reasons why I wasn’t able to “just move on” as some people think you should do. Life does go but you need to be able to process it.

i do think people have a misconception that counselling will sort out someones problems. Will make them get over stuff.
"You need therapy" is almost used as an attack.

Id say that most people could benefit from talking therapy, but it doesnt solve problems. It helps you become more self aware and process things in a safe non judgemental environment with someone who is not personally affected by what you do or dont say.

Therapy for me was totally transformative and provided me with a wonderful calm sense of well-being to face the rest of my life.

I did three years of Freudian-style classic psychoanalysis - on the couch. It was incredibly hard, scary, and challenging at times. It is not a gentle process. But I healed lots of childhood wounds and it radically changed my prospects for being happy.

Totally acknowledge it is not for all people in all circumstances, and there are unfortunately plenty of bad therapists. But it is definitely not snake oil.

I had twelve counsellors. I learned a lot. What it did was change my outlook on life and give me strategies for dealing with the future. I value that.