To not want to open a massive can of worms?

[Justmuddlingalong]

I have a young relative who, in my opinion has many traits of high functioning autism. Discussing it with DP got a bit heated tonight. He thinks we should bring it up with the parents. I don't. Who's being unreasonable?

I think they don't see the signs. They see a quirky, unusual and unique child. School peers are odd, according to the parents, because they don't "get' their child's personality. One parent may be more open to the possibility of an issue. Possibly. But the other parent would hit the roof. I'm torn between wanting help for them all, but also terrified of the 'shooting the messenger' reaction that I can see happening. I think that any suggestion once out there would really ruin our relationship. But I worry about the future.

Which careers, out of everything an autistic person may wish to do, which ones specifically bar diagnosed autistic people? Is there a list somewhere?
It's not the Police, as evidenced on that thread I linked to in my previous post

Unfortunately I've been to.loads of talks where people have stood up and said all this good news is great, but you can tell when you get to an interview the second you mention autism is Asbergers you're out. Because there's sensory issues associated with office/ factory noises, they think you can't be a team player, there's sensory stuff with e.g. light from photocopiers. The label thing is real, it needs to be figured out whether it helps or hinders you. Personally i think it helps most people to know. It all also depends how the parents take it, some people will get angry and not accept, some may have had an inkling, others will roll up their sleeves and properly look into it.

It doesn't sound like your message will be received well in that case, I wouldn't say anything. Hopefully if he's got a new teacher they may bring it up.

I want to ignore the whole subject and plead ignorance whatever the outcome

^this. I’m still annoyed 7 years later at being told “I always knew there was something wrong with him”.
I always knew too and repeatedly asked for help from HV, Drs, I asked nursery, reception etc always to be told I was wrong. I nearly wept with relief when finally -year 4-the sen assistant asked if we would be happy for an assessment. I now regret it.

Leave well alone. Plenty of people are on the spectrum and undiagnosed. In our case it has simply resulted in a very angry child in total denial and no help or support whatsoever anyway. I wish we hadn’t bothered with an assessment at all. I love my DS dearly but his anger over a label is disturbing and destructive. There is nothing wrong with being quirky.