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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this really dull chat?

46 replies

Murmurannn · 18/08/2019 19:19

Talking to someone from online dating, asking about each other’s days...

Him: Doing anything fun tonight? I’ve just started trying to organise my home office and now everything is a mess and I’m seriously regretting it...

Is this all very dull?!

OP posts:
socksforfox · 18/08/2019 19:23

Steer the conversation to what you want to talk about then. At least he's making an effort to text

Original poster
Murmurannn · 18/08/2019 19:25

Fair enough - like whT?

OP posts:
ShinyMe · 18/08/2019 19:25

Well, are you entertained, intrigued and interested? Or are you finding it dull?

Interest is subjective, surely?

pullmealittlecloser · 18/08/2019 19:25

Surely dull is subjective?! Do you find it interesting? I would, I have Pinterest boards devoted to organisation porn.

Celebelly · 18/08/2019 19:26

Confused Surely people on here can't tell you if you find it dull or not?

Butchyrestingface · 18/08/2019 19:27

Seems very typical of the daily lives most people live.

What kind of chat are you expecting?

Orgasmrendition · 18/08/2019 19:30

I dont find it dull, he is sharing his day with you, regardless of how mundane it is. I'd love for some detail about the guy I'm messagings day, rather than, long/ok/chilled. It actually gives you something to reply to rather than forcing a conversation (I know...probably not that into me 😂)

Glasscrab · 18/08/2019 19:32

You’re the only person who knows if you find it boring, surely? Personally, being asked whether I ‘was doing anything fun tonight’ would strike me as Godawful Hairdresser Compulsory Chitchat, and I would prefer to hear about his home office reorganisation. Well, marginally.

noneintheforeststoday · 18/08/2019 19:36

It's really hard to know what you'd find interesting. Perhaps you could ask him:

  • if he's read / listened to / watched anything of interest recently.
  • what he thinks about a particular news story.
  • for his advice or perspective on a problem or challenge you're facing.
  • about the family and friends he spends most time with
  • his favourite and least favourite parts of his job
  • about his favourite authors, actors, directors, musicians etc....
Ginger1982 · 18/08/2019 19:53

Jeezo, the guy's just making conversation. What would like him to chat about? 🙄

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 18/08/2019 19:55

Are you actually posting on MN asking how to conduct a conversation with someone else? Do you not speak to others as a general rule?

ShinyMe · 18/08/2019 19:59

Also, it's an honest conversation.

If you ask what he's been up to today, and he tells you, that's normal and honest.
If you asked him what he'd been up to today, and he replied something like "oh that's really dull, let's talk about something interesting, what do you think about tiger hunting/brexit/classical piano/parachuting?" then you could be wondering if he's being evasive or showing off or something.

sparklefarts · 18/08/2019 20:00

I don't find it dull.

It's just normal chit chat surely?
But OP, if you don't know how to respond to that, maybe you're dull..?

TheVanguardSix · 18/08/2019 20:02

He wants you to ask him what it is he does at home... in his office, which will then allow him to tell you about a project he's excited about.

SweatyUnderboob · 18/08/2019 20:04

If you fancied him, it wouldn’t seem dull.

Wellmet · 18/08/2019 20:06

Use it to find out more about his personality! I'd reply something like, " are you usually really organised then? Mine is always chaos"

TheRLodger · 18/08/2019 20:10

Oh god that’s v full. I hate hate hate the what you up to ? Question. Especially at the early stages when you get want to be all interesting yet just spend 98% of your time doing boring stuff. Then you ask the same question and get “not a lot really” and then there’s times when it’s like in that case fancy getting a drink together or whatever and you’re like not really but they know and you know you can’t say your busy to get out of it

FlamedToACrisp · 18/08/2019 20:16

Actually, I'd have enjoyed talking about reorganising a home office. I can only assume I am dull Sad

CSIblonde · 18/08/2019 20:28

No. You share your daily minutiae then IME, it then wanders to the news, telly, you tube funny stuff, fave films, food, hobbies, relatives, kids & any stuff that's going on or that you are interested in. But I could talk for England & find random tangents in conversation interesting so I could start with what I had for dinner & we'd end up on statistics re criminal psychology & women who marry serial killers.

ItsWitchingTime · 18/08/2019 20:35

Surely it's objective? And he's just making general chit chat without going down the mundane route of talking about the weather.

As unorganised as I am, I actually really like organisation and regularly trawl Pinterest and Instagram for inspiration so I'd probably enjoy that conversation and use it to find out things about him.

wanderings · 18/08/2019 20:38

Small talk can be tricky; lots of people on MN say "I don't do small talk!!" It can be demotivating if somebody always replies to your questions with something negative, or very mundane, or seems surprised that you are asking.

An opener I like is "did something funny happen today?". This can steer the conversation away from negatives.

Aprillygirl · 18/08/2019 20:40

He's just making a bit of normal chit chat. As long as he's not rambling on about it it's perfectly fine. How did you respond to his question to you?

myhandsareverycold · 18/08/2019 21:53

Ask him about his favourites....food, film, tv programme, animal, chocolate bar, sandwich, holiday, season, weather, drink, red/white/rose..... that will then incite more things to discuss

22Giraffes · 18/08/2019 23:08

I'd love to talk to someone about home office organisation Blush I have a bit of an obsession with storage to be honest...

Ponoka7 · 18/08/2019 23:12

Don't spend too much tume making idle chit chat. Ask the right questions, decide if it's worth meeting up and go for it.

Otherwise there's a lot of time wasted.