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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this really dull chat?

46 replies

Murmurannn · 18/08/2019 19:19

Talking to someone from online dating, asking about each other’s days...

Him: Doing anything fun tonight? I’ve just started trying to organise my home office and now everything is a mess and I’m seriously regretting it...

Is this all very dull?!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 18/08/2019 23:12

Would you have preferred a dick pic? Shock

dollydaydream114 · 18/08/2019 23:13

Seems pretty normal to me? He's just making an effort and saying that's what he's been up to. Most people do spend their days doing ordinary stuff like reorganising an office or tidy wardrobes or taking the car to the garage.

Please tell me you're not someone who expects cheesy chat-up lines like 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' and all that shit.

twattymctwatterson · 18/08/2019 23:36

It doesn't sound like you have much chat yourself op. Do you expect it all to come from him?

23chilton · 19/08/2019 00:09

That's better than the message I just got from a guy on Muddy Matches which just said "Hi how is the weekend?' - this comes after 2 weeks of him looking at my profile every other day. I have no patience with the one line conversations to be honest. I tend to prefer men who are more chatty.

I just blocked the guy. Maybe that's why I'm still single; but if you find them dull now, it will only get on your nerves later on.

Ballacre · 19/08/2019 07:32

A friend recently decided to talk about her new vacuum cleaner. I don't suppose this is the most exciting topic of conversation, however, the way she described it as it rampaged around the house, was hilarious.

Often, it is not the topic of conversation that engages us, but rather, the way the conversation is delivered. Stand up comics, for example, make their living from relating ordinary topics is less than ordinary ways.

In fact, one of the most demanding relationships I have had was with an individual who could not bear to discuss anything everyday or banal. The conversations had to be 'intellectual', 'informed', 'serious' and 'meaningful' or else he just lost interest. Yet, the vast majority of conversation is simply the little anecdotes and exchanges of information that provide the social glue for a positive relationship.

BogglesGoggles · 19/08/2019 07:35

It’s called small talk...it’s meant to be inane. You respond with something equally inane until you hit upon a topic of interest.

Hotterthanallheck · 19/08/2019 07:36

Have you had a conversation before OP?

MrsKittyFane1 · 19/08/2019 07:40

Fair enough - like whT?

How are we to know what interests you! Grin

Witchinaditch · 19/08/2019 07:43

It’s a bit strange that your asking if “chat” is dull or not but have no idea what to talk about yourself, maybe you are the dull one?

FamilyOfAliens · 19/08/2019 07:43

We’re you looking for a reason not to pursue a relationship with this guy?

GinDaddy · 19/08/2019 07:52

OP this is just my perspective, but it might help to think of conversation as a springboard to other places rather than a one way/two way street where the listener is expecting to be “entertained” rather than engaged.

It’s why I’ve been on dates with women previously who view conversation as “entertain me”, which means that rather than talk about real things and get a proper engaged response that springs us to other convo? It means I end up in banterville/anecdote land, which is fine as the other person clearly just wanted that rather than real convo.

It’s a shame though because “I’m redoing my home office” could lead for you to ask about their work, joke about syncing calendars when you’re next wfh, are they messy as a person or like being organised, all manner of jumping off points that could be either informative or flirtatious

However I think online dating has bred a sector of people who love reading and going “boring...next” without realising they’ve made 0% effort to engage

GinDaddy · 19/08/2019 07:52

My last sentence is also an explanation of why we are inflicted with these banter bores, because some men are being conditioned out of real chat into something that gets “results”

AmIThough · 19/08/2019 08:04

He's starting a conversation. What were you expecting? Would you rather him send you a picture of his cock and ask when you're meeting?

BeautyQueenFromMars · 19/08/2019 08:16

Sounds like a perfectly normal conversation to me, just the kind I would have. Life isn't full of fun and excitement, 99% of it is doing mundane stuff like organising your home office. Like a pp said, that could be a good jumping off point for a more interesting conversation which could go in a few different directions.

CupoTeap · 19/08/2019 08:18

I would relate totally to what he's saying, I'll decide to sort out my wardrobe and get everything out then look around at the mess and wonder why I started it.

If you can't relate then maybe that's just not you. Are you more of an organised person?

ainsisoisje · 19/08/2019 09:10

I’d have to agree, it’s pretty dull taking about a home office....

ainsisoisje · 19/08/2019 09:11

Talking rather

EskewedBeef · 19/08/2019 09:18

Fair enough - like whT?

It's a bit unfair to accuse him of being boring when you can't think of a single thing to talk to him about!

jesuschristwtf · 19/08/2019 09:22

Wtf? How would we know - dull is subjective?! You seem mean. If you don’t like the guy - move on. He’s trying to make conversation and you’re here on mumsnet asking if he’s dull. Hopefully you find someone exciting soon. 🤷🏻‍♀️

DanielRicciardosSmile · 19/08/2019 09:27

It’s a bit strange that your asking if “chat” is dull or not but have no idea what to talk about yourself

My thoughts exactly.

Strugglingtodomybest · 19/08/2019 09:30

So, you want us to tell you how you feel about his conversation and then tell you what to talk about back?

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