Just had a letter child overweight

[dereece123]

Well yea she is a bit but just has large hips and bust and her stomach sticks out a bit bit she is solid no fat tbh. Maybe if they took a look at her medical records they would see she is limited exercise as she has a congenital heart disease and cannot tolerate running jumping as she gets out of breath. But goes swimming a lot as she finds this easier but cannot do a whole length in one go (as her stupid school found out when she got out of the water and passed out as they made her try 2 lengths) then went into meltdown when they realised about her heart even though they had all her medical history and do’s and dont’s. The hospital she attends in London have been asked about her weight and have told us she is healthy and bright and do not worry. She eats healthy all fresh food and veg and her school meals are also healthy they grow all their vegetables and does not have a sweet tooth. She is growing fast so her tummy is going down. Her mum was exactly the same but is only a 12 now she is nearly 12 years old so sir this letter is of no use to us. We keep an eye on whatever she eats get her as much physical exercise that she can tolerate she is a happy child and we will not be contacting you. But will
Gladly take your letter to the hospital when we attend her next checkup

Ignore the letter then. I'm not really sure what your AIBU is - you're already aware that there are circumstances that affect your daughter's activity levels and that you've already discussed her weight with specialists, so the letter's a non-issue.

If she's a bit overweight at 12 it may be that she is about to have a puberty-related growth spurt.

Lots of children gain a bit of 'puppy fat' before growing a few inches around that age.

This letter has obviously rattled you, as it would anyone, because when your child is overweight it feels as if you, the parent, is to blame. Obviously there are special circumstances in your case, but the fact that your dd can only do limited exercise means that you/she will have to keep an eye on portions, even of healthy food. If she doesn't slim down as she grows, then think back to this letter and perhaps take advantage of any dietary advice available to you. Unfortunately, most overweight 12 yr olds don't slim down nowadays. They just get bigger. Speaking from experience, here.

It's good that your consultant feels that you have nothing to worry about, but you need to keep an eye on her, too, between consultant appointments. It's much easier to cut down by tiny amounts than to be faced with a bigger problem.

As others have pointed out, it's a standard letter. But throwing it in the bin is a short-sighted response. Unless you also have a heart condition, your weight is irrelevant, because you're able to maintain it through a more active lifestyle.

I agree with thirdfiddle that they should be taking far more care of her in PE, especially in swimming classes.

Is this about the national scheme?

If so it doesn't apply to your DD and obviously you know that

In fact you should've opted her out if it bothers you.

I got one too and was told my dd was heavier than average at 5yrs old. Said sod that and threw it in the bin. My dd has pecs and traps; I see no issue with her weight.

If you're a bit rattled by the terminology they used (maybe?) then discuss with your GP I guess. I'm sure they'd be willing to help if theres a real issue.

This is why I don't give permission for this sort of child health surveillance, mine would probably be flagged as underweight despite eating all-day long.

My understanding is that it is part of a national child measurement programme done at school entry and Year 6.
It is about collecting information about the population. However, it isn't ethical to not inform parents if the findings show that a child falls outside a healthy weight expectation. It's up to the parents what they do with that information.
They used to have routine dental examinations in school years ago. I wasn't impressed when my DC had a dental appointment at our own family dentist when I was told they needed a filling, when I had not been informed of this after the school examination.

Amazing how all these letters are sent out, and not one of the kids is ever, ever overweight. Just sturdy and well built.

Who has just given you this letter?

depends though - you can be overweight eating all healthy foods if you eat too much. Maybe look at snacking and portion sizes if she can't move much. She wouldn't require too many calories if quite sedentry.

There are parents all over my local FB page posting up cropped pics of their clearly obese child moaning about these letters. Can they just not see it? In one case, the child had rolls on their arms/legs at 10-12 ish looking.

I have a friend who insists her kid is not fat,just well built and unlucky to "have had inherited my big thighs".

All well and good except the child is 7, and 9-10 clothes are starting to be too small already. She's not particularly tall either.

I can well imagine her mum's outrage if she got an "overweight" letter.

glitter I think we might be in the same area. It’s incredible the people posting these images - the kids are so very obviously overweight, quite seriously in a lot of cases. Mum’s are posting these photos saying ‘look, he’s not fat. These letters are going to make these kids anorexic.’ And not one person is commenting to say that actually, yes, they are pretty fat.

School nurses are not trained to look beyond the basic height and weight data and all the letters are sent regardless of any other hcp involvement.

School nurses are fully trained nurses who, after they have completed their training just like any other nurse, have specialised in school nursing.

They do not analyse the data, this is done centrally by the NHS to ensure consistency.

Amazing how all these letters are sent out, and not one of the kids is ever, ever overweight. Just sturdy and well built.

Yeah. And then you get dozens of posters assuring the OP that BMI is useless, that school nurses know nothing, that their child got this letter and they aren’t overweight either..... When in reality, there are a lot of fat children in this country and by refusing to take action early, parents are doing their children no favours at all.

A size 12 at age 11 is fairly large, how tall is she?

Amazing how all these letters are sent out, and not one of the kids is ever, ever overweight. Just sturdy and well built.

I know. It's every single time the letters are sent out and someone starts a thread. The 'bin the letter brigade' come out in force.

Meanwhile childhood obesity just gets worse, along with adult obesity.

Today's overweight Mumsnetters often resent their parents for making them clear their plates as kids.

Future overweight Mumsnetters will resent theirs for binning the letters and sticking their heads in the sand.

A size 12 at age 11 is incredible. Take note of the letter. Or throw it in the bin. Your choice.

If she is aged 12 and an adult size 12 then she is overweight, irrelevant of any medical condition. Speak to your child's health professional and ask what they advise. Being overweight is a strain on the heart... (And eating too much fresh food and vegetables is not a sign of health necessarily, she could still be overweight.)

Her mum was exactly the same but is only a 12 now she is nearly 12 years old so sir this letter is of no use to us.

I think OP means the mum is a 12,just cluncky sentence phrasing. As is most of the post.

My daughter is 12 and quite tall (around 5'6''). She is a size 6, occasionally 8 in some shops. I think she is a little chubby (not based on size, just looking at her and seeing a tummy and some extra padding on her arms etc.). We are not making a big deal but just reminding ourselves as parents to carry on helping her get into good habits - we don't have snacks as standard after school, trying to make sure she has protein in her packed lunches (left to her own devices she would just eat carbs), no seconds.

Given what you say it sounds like your DD may be a little heavy and that seems to be confirmed with the height/ weight data. These processes are aiming to be helpful as there are usually classes or information that can be offered to help you move your DD towards a healthier BMI as she continues to grow.

She obviously has some limitations in terms of her physical activity but that means she needs, perhaps, to eat a little less than more active kids, not that she will necessarily be bigger.

I think you are feeling very criticised but perhaps you could choose to look upon this as helpful instead. And BTW I don't think the nurses write the letters or get a say about when they are sent out - they are following national processes I think.

I think it's the girl's mum who is now size 12, not the girl.

But yes, none of the children who have received the letter is ever actually overweight. Not surprising, as according to one study of a few thousand children, 95% of parents of overweight children describe their children as 'just right'.

Children are meant to be slim... if she's overweight I'd make little changes, nothing major, just lots of little changes... it sounds like you really love her and want to look after her so don't take the letter as a criticism, take it as a heads up to do things slightly differently... it may be as simple as her having a slightly smaller tea and that's it.

Don’t bin the letter. If she has a heart condition then carrying extra weight won’t help her.

Look at her portion sizes. Sounds like she’s eating ‘well’ but too much.

Ah, it's the mum who's a size 12. But so am I, and I am overweight as I'm only average height. My friend is 6 ft and a size 12. She's not overweight. A size by itself doesn't tell us much.