How do people not "believe" in Autism?

[MissPollyHadADolly19]

Just that really, bit of a rant more than anything.
It's not the tooth fairy or Santa, it's a recognised disorder!!

Relative struggling with her DC who's on the spectrum and partner believes it's just shit parenting (obviously not from him cos he's perfect, only the mother gets blames of course )

How do people really not believe in Autism? Or any mental illness for that matter.

I think whats worse is the DC sees the mum as the "safe zone" so naturally will have more meltdowns and what would be perceived as bad behaviour when with the mum. The DH is seen as Disney dad, he won't tell the DC off or go on days out to avoid any possible meltdowns as he thinks it's embarrassing. It's sad, really really sad.
The relative is struggling greatly now with her own mental health because of the lack of support from her DH so as a result the DC is now also lacking the support.
I know that years ago ASD wasn't understood but the DH is only late 30s, he's not from what I would call the generation of blissful ignorance. On the other hand my own DF struggled when I was diagnosed with Aspergers, but not to this extent.

Some parents just find it really hard to accept, I've worked with lots of them. It can be frustrating because it hinders getting the right support for the child. And ultimately the child really needs their parent to be fighting their corner.

I don't judge them for it though. I think it's easy to say how you would or wouldn't react when it's not your child. Some people just need time.

Autism is definitely a thing. My brother is on the spectrum but I think a lot of parents use it as an excuse to excuse their child’s terrible behaviour!

Sorry to upset you @gamerchick but we sat in rows and nobody had meltdowns or dared to misbehave. So where were these children?

On the "we didn't have kids with autism in the olden days" - we had kids with "obvious" problems in special schools and we had plenty of kids with HF ASD, dyslexia, ADHD etc struggling in mainstream schools. I was at school with so many geeks, some of whom I know have had adult Dx. And my brother, who didn't go to school at 4/5 because he "wasn't ready" and then when he finally did get a diagnosis of dyslexia was not supported either at school or at home - I was taught he'd grown out of it!! Only when I gave my DF books about ASD did he diagnose DB he also said "I have this!" He just thought he liked routine

Ahem (here I go again!) Bearman & KIng wrote a series of papers starting from about 2010 - if you can read them they are very interesting - the point these make is that diagnosis was more likely if you knew someone who knew a specialist in ASD & you were able to get referred to them - they were trying to check if there was any evidence of environmental pollution or anything else - that could increase the hub diagnosis. What later paper found is that over time as understanding & education (younger doctors being more up to date on the DSM) diagnosis increased. There was resistance & still is. Also as stated the education system has changed -we have more integrated education - (the Autism Matrix by Gil Eyal et al is worth reading on this)

But if their child had cancer for example, they'd seek out treatment straight away even if they found it hard to accept.
So why should a child be denied medication to manage a condition because their parent can't accept their ASD? Not even just accepting but point blank refuse to see it even exists.
Also alot of children on the spectrum are perfectly well behaved at school but release it all when they get home.
My relatives child is great at school, listens, does what she's told but struggles socially and can be triggered by sensory overload. She's not bad behaved though but once she's in the hysterics of a meltdown there's no coming back.

It's because Autism has been transformed in to a catch all term.

People with autism were probably just called quirky, shy, or selectively mute in the days before the diagnostic criteria was widened. Even when there were autism awareness campaigns, many people were never really told what autism was. Autism is so complex as well, and representations in media can't really represent any person with autism since every person is different. We really don't understand much either and are constantly learning, so right now we are the pioneers in this.

My Ds has Adhd so many know exactly what you are saying . He doesn’t fit the stereotypical adhd so many people doubt it .

I should point out that I’m not saying “I don’t believe” in Aspergers or Autism. Just that it wasn’t widely known when I was younger. But the last decade or so seems to have a surge in cases and I would imagine there is someone (who??) looking into why there’s been an increase.

As the symptoms seem to vary from person to person, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were actually a number of different issues at play: and at some point in the future they would be diagnosed as separate things (I’m loathe to use the word “illness” as I don’t believe Aspergers is an illness: more that someone’s brain works differently.)

My stepmother used to talk at length about how depression didn't really exist, and that people who 'had it' were just weak. My mother killed herself as a result of depression when I was younger. (pre-step-mother).. Thanks for that dear step-ma!

whiteroseredrose you are being quite offensive. Ot sll children with ASD have behaviour issues. There were more special schools in the past for a start - thete was a massive push for inclusion by blunkett. Then there is a chance that old style sitting in rows with chalk and talk was an ennvironment more children with asd could cope in. Its predictable quiet. The current group tables with group work and free flow is great but quite confusing. The primary schooling now includes more high stakes national testing that ' back in my day' so the pressue on childten is greater - thats just for starters

whiteroseredrose. I went to school in the 1970s . At age 7 I had a friend who lived over the road and who went to a special school. By 7 he had been weeded out of mainstream ...and that’s why you didn’t see them.

I recognise now that my friend was autistic...with ADHD I suspect too. He had serious meltdowns at tims.

As someone else said, we didn't have DC with autism in school in the 1970s,

Of course we did. They just weren't recognised as being autistic.

My son was at school from 2000 onwards and was considered to be "rude"/ "naughty"/"awkward"/"lazy" before he got his diagnosis in 2003. Some people, and I include teachers and other professionals in that, are just bloody ignorant and ill informed.

@whiteroseredrose get a grip on reality

@whiteroseredrose. We did have kids with allergies in the 80s. I’m one of them. But there weren’t as many as there are now

My auntie insisted in feeding me eggs as she didn’t believe I was allergic. I was sick as anything. It was awful. She was a lovely person but just didn’t believe that allergies existed (I was probably the first person she knew with one). My son also has an egg allergy. My sister asked “ is he really allergic or is it like your pretend allergy because you don’t like eggs??”” Aaarrgghh. He was blue lighted to fucking hospital at 6 months old.

we sat in rows and nobody had meltdowns or dared to misbehave. So where were these children?
Right here! I was an unusually well-behaved kid. Meltdowns were bottled up and happened in private. Still autistic. HTH

I am autistic (or aspergers as it was when I was diagnosed back in the day). My own father never believed it existed he thought I was just extremely shy and awkward. He didn't want me to be labelled. Oh and I was never a naughty child so it annoys me when people say 'it's' bad parenting. I was extremely well behaved and quiet.

But the last decade or so seems to have a surge in cases and I would imagine there is someone (who??) looking into why there’s been an increase.

It’s unlikely to be an increase in actual cases though - just an increase in diagnosis because parents and teachers are more aware of what they need to look out for. Plenty of adults are realising now in later life that they have autism (Anne Hegerty is a famous example). It used to be severely underdiagnosed - I think it’s good that we are making up for that now.

I am in my fifties. I used to work with teenagers with autism years ago who were nearly all non verbal and could not be left alone ever. For people my age, most only ever came across severely autistic adults and children. So most do accept autism, but some struggle with the idea that the child who can talk away to an adult and go to a mainstream school can possibly be autistic, or that an adult who has a job can possibly be autistic.
It is not a view I agree with. But the definition of SN has massively increased over the last 50 years. And not everyone has kept up with those changes.

My autism rose its head in Tesco today! Saw my neighbour and she said 'hi how are you'. I said 'yeah it was great thanks' no idea where I copied and pasted that sentence from

I have 6 children. My 2 nd born has autism and her grand parents were the worst. She is now 27 but when she was 6 and wasn't talking (as she cant now) the old drunk said 'I can get her talking in 10 minuets ' he never believed her diagnosis and in now n c. My 4 th child a boy was diagnosed as autism at 6 my mother is an intelligent women that had a high earning job and can't take in the information that I give her and ends up ignoring it and then talking to other people and telling me she knows all about it and tells me where we are going wrong.

One of my nans uncles had what I believe was probably autism.

He was lucky that his family cared for him & didn't send him to the asylum.

Apparently he could play musical instruments without being taught & drove the family grocery van.

But he was also socially inept & described as 'simple'.
This was in the 1920s / 30s.

as stated Autism Act 2009 for support in getting adults with ASD diagnosed - many undiagnosed lived lives of quiet & not so quiet desperation - never having a chance to fulfil their potential - never getting support, often becoming victim (cuckooing) to social, financial & criminal manipulation. Diagnosis & support not only aids independence but also means people live fuller, more meaningful & happier lives. The negative comments here are not dissimilar to comments made about catching measles. i.e. just because they didn't see someone die, or become deaf or otherwise disabled it didn't happen, Newsflash! People within the spectrum have always been there but just not understood or helped or regarded as deviant - thank goodness that's not the world we live in - I hope!

The increase has not just been an increase in diagnosis. The criteria has changed. And I have seen the impact of that in my own family. Older adults who display the same symptoms and difficulty communicating with no diagnosis, and kids with a diagnosis.
When I was a child people were campaigning to get people to realise that disability was more than just being a permanent wheelchair user, severe learning difficulty, blind or deaf.
Over time what counts as disabled has massively increased. My DP is disabled under the disability discrimination act with a genetic disease. Much older relatives with this disease saw themselves as ill, but not disabled. Disability to them means something else - talking about people in their 80s/90s.
Symptoms are real, but how we describe these things is socially constructed. So is something a disability, an illness, or just a variation on humans.