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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what time your secondary school age DCs leave the house when worry about DD getting up

61 replies

itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 15:16

She’s going to our nearest secondary school. It’s about a 15min drive.
There’s a free bus provided but just had the timetable and it’s 7.40, she will need to allow 20mins to walk to the bus stop will need to leave by 7.20.

Last term I was struggling to wake her up at 7.20 - she’s just not a morning person! I just can’t see how it’s going to happen and she’s going to be so grumpy and tired.

What time do your dcs leave the house and any tips?

I might be able to drive her on Fridays. She has to be there by 8.45 I think so the bus is going to get her there really early (it’s fairly direct).

OP posts:
Witchinaditch · 18/08/2019 15:17

Let her be late and deal with the consequences of late detention and she will (hopefully) soon learn

AmateurSwami · 18/08/2019 15:18

My son is out the door and bikes 3 miles to school at 7.50. He hates it but it’s fine. He’s also not a morning person. She’ll be fine, she’ll adapt. Smile

Ligresa · 18/08/2019 15:20

Make sure she goes to bed earlier and has good sleep hygiene, no gadgets or screens etc

TheKitchenWitch · 18/08/2019 15:20

DS1 is out the door at 7am to get the 7.12 bus. School starts at 7.30.
He is also not at all a morning person so his first alam goes off at 6am, but he doesn't actually get up until 6.30. It's not easy but once we're in the routine of it it works. September is going to be hard again!

scazlackabumdiyay · 18/08/2019 15:26

My two leave at 7.30 for a 15 minute walk to the bus. If it's raining I tend to take port on them both and drive them to the bus stop x

Pipandmum · 18/08/2019 15:30

My daughter is soooo not a morning person but during term time she prefers to do her homework in the morning as she is too tired to do it once she gets home (school ends at 4.30). So she gets herself up at 6 to 6.30 to do it and get organised and then heads to school at 8.20.
Weirdly, her brother is a morning person (up by 8 even on holiday) but is very hard to get out for school and is always late!

PumpkinPie2016 · 18/08/2019 15:32

Quite a lot of the kids who attend the school I work at leave their homes at around 7.20-30am. Our bell for setting off to registration goes at 8.25am and the final bell at 8.30am so they really need to be there early.

I would discuss this with her and explain that now she is going to secondary, she needs to be responsible and make sure she is up and ready on time. She needs to go to bed at a decent time during the week.

Work out with her a plan to ensure that absolutely everything is ready the night before - school bag packed with relevant books/equipment, uniform laid out (including underwear), shoes and coat ready by the door etc.

She'll be fine - they adapt eventually but she will need to play a part in making sure she is organised and on time.

WichBitchHarpyTerfThatsMe · 18/08/2019 15:34

My daughter has to be up by 6.30am and out of the door by 7pm to catch 2 buses to school. She doesn’t get home until around 5pm so it’s a long day. She’s definitely not a morning person but we had to move her from a mixed sex school 20 mins away to a single sex school further away due to unacceptable levels of sexual harassment and toxic male behaviour that the school denied. So her journey to school and back is a real slog now but she feels safer and happier.

MamaGee09 · 18/08/2019 15:36

We thankfully dont live too far from school. My dd gets up at 7.30 and is out the door for 8.30 , her walk to school takes 15 minutes.

When I was at school I had to leave the house at 8.05am to walk for the school bus that left at 8.25 and got us to school for 8.45.

RedskyLastNight · 18/08/2019 15:37

Lot of early risers here!
DD leaves the house about 7.40 and DS leaves about 8.05.

they go to the same school :)

Your DD should be able to get up at 7 and leave the house by 7.20 I would think (and getting up at 7, doesn't sound too bad).

kimlo · 18/08/2019 15:41

she's supposed to leave for 8. I wake both dd's up for 6.30 and leave the house at 7.50.

I just leave her to it. If she's late she deals with the detention.

SandraOhshair · 18/08/2019 15:43

Turn the wi fi off at 10pm every night. She'll wake up easier.......

lazylinguist · 18/08/2019 15:46

Dd (and ds from September) has the choice of leaving at 8:00 to catch the school bus or leaving with dh at 7.40 in the car (he works at the school). She always gets up at 7 and chooses to go with dh, but she's always only just ready in time for dh to not leave without her!

Hotterthanahotthing · 18/08/2019 15:50

My DD has always sorted herself out.She starts 6form so now will have to be out by 7am to get the bus.There is only one so she has to make it on time.
You won't be there to wake her as an adult working so now is the time for her to take responsibility.
Sit her down,tell her you will not be waking her anymore it is up to her,thenlave her to it.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 18/08/2019 15:51

Up at 6am, off to bus stop at 6.50am two busses to get to school with an hour and a half journey. Home after 5pm or 6pm on days when there’s after school music or sport. Yr 11 and 12 so they’ve been doing it for a few years.

MarigoldGlove · 18/08/2019 15:55

We all get up at 6:30. My dds are 13 and 15 and they go to bed early on school nights because they know they need a lot of sleep.

orangeshoebox · 18/08/2019 15:55

dc school start at 8.30
dc takes public transport (leaves house at 7:30) or bike (8am) depending on the weather.

TowerRingInferno · 18/08/2019 16:16

Mine are up at 6:45 (ds1 often earlier - he’s a lark) and leave the house at 7:45/50.

BoneyBackJefferson · 18/08/2019 16:19

itsabongthing

I just can’t see how it’s going to happen and she’s going to be so grumpy and tired.

Just be the parent and get her up.

lovelyupnorth · 18/08/2019 16:25

DD1 up at 8.40 out of the house for 8.45 did drive herself the .9 mile to school 😂

DD2 has to be at the bus stop for 0705. Usually up at 6 (17 going into year 13)

BeanBag7 · 18/08/2019 16:26

I'm sure she wont want to be late the first few days of her new school and once shes into the routine it will be fine.
Encourage her to speak to someone (her form tutor?) About whether she can come into school early and stay in the library or something to get some homework or reading done when she gets to school early. I'm sure she wont be the only student who gets the same bus and arrives really early.

MoobaaMoobaa · 18/08/2019 16:30

when DC1 first started secondary, the bus left 7.10am 20min walk, so we use to nip him to the bus stop at 7.00am He would get up 6.15-6.30am
Same for DC2 until a couple of years ago they change the bus time and the bus leaves at 7.30am now so they get up and walk to the stop now.

Tell her to set her own alarm now she's at secondary. leave her to it if she's not up 5 mins before she's due to leave wake her up and tell her she's about to miss the bus. Then leave her to either rush and get it or fail and get a detention.

ChanklyBore · 18/08/2019 16:34

Leaves at 7.20 like yours. Walks 45 mins. School starts 8.30am but leaves time for faffing. Of which there is a lot (calling for friends, going in the shop, going to their lockers....). Also do not underestimate the time it can take between “getting to school” eg arriving on the edge of the school grounds on foot or by bus to “getting to school” eg being at your desk in the room you need to be in with all the stuff you need, coat off and tidy ready to learn.

My tip is - take the time you think she’ll need and add half as much again as faffing about time.

MarigoldGlove · 18/08/2019 16:36

You could get her a Lumie alarm clock. I think they are on offer at Argos.

Yubaba · 18/08/2019 16:36

DD gets up at 7:30 and leaves at 8:10 to get to school, it’s a 15-20 minute walk and registration is at 8:45. She likes her sleep!
She packs her bag and gets her stuff together the night before. She’s never once been late, so it works for her.