Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what time your secondary school age DCs leave the house when worry about DD getting up

61 replies

itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 15:16

She’s going to our nearest secondary school. It’s about a 15min drive.
There’s a free bus provided but just had the timetable and it’s 7.40, she will need to allow 20mins to walk to the bus stop will need to leave by 7.20.

Last term I was struggling to wake her up at 7.20 - she’s just not a morning person! I just can’t see how it’s going to happen and she’s going to be so grumpy and tired.

What time do your dcs leave the house and any tips?

I might be able to drive her on Fridays. She has to be there by 8.45 I think so the bus is going to get her there really early (it’s fairly direct).

OP posts:
IsobelRae23 · 18/08/2019 16:37

Ds is up at 7am, leaves the house at 7:40am and catches the 8am bus.

I used to drive him down to the bus stop, but he prefers to walk now in for the exercise.

Jamiefraserskilt · 18/08/2019 17:10

Don't be her fall back. She needs to learn to adjust to secondary life and that means early mornings.
Mine starts college soon and his bus time has gone from 8am to 7am. Gonna be tough!

myself2020 · 18/08/2019 17:29

We all leave the house at 7:10. just needs a bit of getting used to

LizzieMacQueen · 18/08/2019 19:06

When you say free bus, is there also a paying version?

Our school starts at 9. Son gets up at 8.15, leaves to walk the 3/4 mile journey at around 8.40.

Linnet · 18/08/2019 19:13

My dd gets up at 8am, leaves the house to walk to school at 8:20am and is at school by 8:35. School starts at 8:50am.

BetsyBigNose · 18/08/2019 19:13

Our eldest DD (now aged 12) started senior school last year and I had similar concerns to you OP. School starts at 8:30, but the bus leaves at 8 from a stop a 15 minute walk away, so I had anticipated her leaving the house at 7:40 after being woken by her alarm at 7am. We practised one morning before term started and got to the bus stop with 5 minutes to spare, which I thought was ideal...

The reality has actually been very different - it appears that DD1 simply cannot bear the feeling of running late at all and therefore prefers to leave the house at 7:30am following a 6:15 alarm. She showers in the evening rather than the mornings and has her bag packed and everything ready for school, so it's simply a case of getting dressed, hair and teeth brushed, face washed and making/eating breakfast which should really only take a maximum of 30 minutes, but she just prefers a more leisurely, relaxed approach to the start of the day. On the one occasion when she'd not set her alarm and woke up at 7, her panic and distress was overly dramatic awful for her and I ended up driving her to school (despite me driving past the bus stop 5 minutes before the bus was due!)

If it were me, I'd set my alarm for 7, have two one 10 minute snooze, quick shower, hair, make up, clothes and eat a piece of toast on the walk to the bus after leaving the house at 7:40ish - I think it just depends on the type of 'morning' person the individual is.

I'd recommend having a couple of practices before term starts and gauging how fast/slow your DC walks when they're on their own. They'll soon get into the swing of it.

In terms of actually waking up, the first couple of weeks DD1 was really excited to be at a new school, so there wasn't an issue with getting her out of bed and now that she knows how much she hates being (or even the feeling of running a little) late, she's actually pretty motivated to get moving in the morning. Although we started last Autumn term with a 'lights out' time of 9:45pm, she found it quite difficult to fall asleep and laying in the dark, waiting to fall asleep seemed to just end up with her becoming anxious that she would never get to sleep, so we now let her read until she falls asleep (I understand this as I'm the same, I'm forever waking myself up after dropping my book on the floor or my face!). Obviously every child (and adult) is different and unless your DC is great at going straight to sleep at a set time, it may just be a case of trial and error till you find the right time for them to have lights out whilst ensuring they get enough sleep - of course the first few weeks of Senior School are pretty exhausting anyway, so your DC may be ready to fall asleep by 7:30pm!

I'm sure you'll all quickly get used to the new routine, but good luck!

itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 19:18

@BoneyBackJefferson
Just be the parent and get her up.

I will but I’m dreading it, as it’s been bad enough for primary.
Added complication of youngest dc starting reception so bit extra to do in the mornings.

But Thanks for all the suggestions. Lots of early risers out there who survive!

OP posts:
itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 19:21

When you say free bus, is there also a paying version?

I think it’s the same bus, but if you’re in catchment the council pay for the ticket so it’s free to the student, but if you are outside catchment you have to buy a bus pass. There are no public buses doing the route we need.

OP posts:
itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 19:24

Thanks @BetsyBigNose, that sounds encouraging. She is generally diligent and I predict will be anxious about being late/missing the bus so hopefully that will translate into her taking responsibility and getting into a good routine.
She is good about going to bed at a decent time but has always struggled getting to sleep.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 18/08/2019 19:27

Why is the bus so early if school bus?

PuppyMonkey · 18/08/2019 19:28

Why does the bus come so early and get them all to school so early?

I’d advise doing a couple of dummy runs before school restarts - get her up, see how long it takes her and you and your youngest to get sorted. Even to the point of her going out the door and waiting at the bus stop.

If she does well in the practice runs, you can all go out and do something nice afterwards as a reward.

She’ll get used to it. We have one who was a bit floored by the whole new routine of secondary but she coped. No choice really.

IceBearRocks · 18/08/2019 19:30

Ds leaves at 7:45 and gets home at 4:45!

SnuggyBuggy · 18/08/2019 19:30

Couldn't she set some sort of alarm that means she has to physically has to get out of bed to turn it off. I had to resort to this in my last very draining job and it worked reasonably well.

MeMeMeYou · 18/08/2019 19:37

When she starts high school, mon-wed, DD will need to be up at 6.30 to leave at 7.20 assuming the connections work ok. If not she will need to leave at 7 until we move (house under offer so hopefully short term). She’s not a morning person so will be challenging. On thurs and fri I can give lifts

heartshapedknob · 18/08/2019 19:37

Mine will need to leave the house at 7.10 to get to the bus stop for a 7.25 pickup - it’s jot far, a five minute walk but he dawdles so we’re erring on the side of caution. Going to get him up at 6.30 as he’ll eat breakfast at school before lessons start (bus is shared with another school further away so he will arrive suitably early.)

MoobaaMoobaa · 18/08/2019 19:38

Why does the bus come so early and get them all to school so early?

Ours was because the school was 10 miles away, and some of the buses had another route to do too.

the cafe at school was normally open so the kids on early buses would go there for 3/4 hour before school started.

heartshapedknob · 18/08/2019 19:38

That’s meant to say, not rather than jot. One day autocorrect will behave.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 18/08/2019 19:53

Could she cycle? At least in summer? If drive is 15 min it would be 30 min cycle and then she could leave at 8.10

itsabongthing · 18/08/2019 20:00

Sadly not, it’s a 15 min drive along a 60mph limit road and cycling the route is a bit scary as it’s fast, bendy and no separate path. There are also some quite serious hills.

OP posts:
Aprillygirl · 18/08/2019 20:59

If the schools only 15 minutes drive away she could walk it in less than an hour, which means she could get an extra half hour in bed.

Rockbird · 18/08/2019 21:31

Dreading this. DD1 starts next month and she was a nightmare all through primary. I'm starting a new job which means I have to leave the house at 7.15 at the latest, leaving her and DD2 in the care of DH... she has to be at school for 8.30. God help us.

ChocolateTea · 18/08/2019 21:34

Mine have always left home at 730, but I've always dropped them to have breakfast at school on my way to work. They get up at 7, get dressed, do teeth, we go. They get to school 45 minutes early, but prefer this and eating at school than having to walk the whole mile and a half in the mornings 😂 Their school is on my commute so it's no bother for us, and I encourage them to walk home (though in reality they wait for lifts in my way home as I drive past!)

Talksunderwater · 18/08/2019 21:37

She will get used to it (although she may never like it!). DS1 wakes 6.30am and leaves 7am for school (has breakfast at school). He manages. He is not a morning person and in the holidays he is rarely up before lunchtime... at the end of the holidays (last few days) as usual he knows he will have to set alarms gradually earlier to train himself back into 6.30am starts before school starts again.

Balladenny · 18/08/2019 21:38

Mine leave the house at 7:20 - their bus leaves at 7:35. Their school is 45 minutes away though.

I'm very surprised your dd has to leave that early for a school 15 minutes away.

changingeverything2019 · 18/08/2019 21:48

My 3 DC (13,15 and 17) start at 8.40. They are woken with plenty of time to wash, eat, dress etc. There is a school bus at 8.20. If they miss it and are late they get a detention.
There is no bus after detention. The rule is; if they have a detention for lateness they have to get themselves home. Soon focuses the mind...