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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To park in neighbours private parking bays

74 replies

Happyhappy011 · 17/08/2019 18:28

Advice please. This is driving me nuts! We live on a relatively new development where parking is fairly limited. We live in a street of 20 houses, 10 each side. Each house is allocated two private bays which are situated at the back at the rear of our back gardens. We all have a gate to the back. However each house has on average 3 cars - us included. Mine, DH and DD she is 21. We have mostly al lived in the street for quite a few years and I guess slowly our DCs have all grown up and have their own cars now. Parking during the day M-F is fine as we mostly all work in our street. However nobody is home during those hours so irrelevant really. Come 6pm when we all start coming home there is nowhere to park. MY DH and DD use our two bays so I would generally park outside in the street. BUT..... most of the other houses do not use their bays at all as they don’t like going in through the back gate! It doesn’t bother us in the slightest. So that means all the street parking is gone and I have to go sometimes two streets away. DH takes my car and parks it so that I am not waking alone! Would it be unreasonable to use their bays? They are literally empty 95% of the time. If we have visitors it is a nightmare and so too for theirs. I don’t want to cause any arguments as they are all good neighbours - nobody speaks except a nod good morning but they are not noisy or ASBO types so wouldn’t want to upset them at all. I am being driving out of my head with frustration here. Help me out please

OP posts:

FamilyOfAliens · 17/08/2019 20:20

We also don’t have public transport.

Are you not in the UK, OP? I didn’t think there was anywhere in the country with no public transport at all. Where I live it’s a bit shit but we still have it.

notacooldad · 17/08/2019 20:28

But a car is NOT the only option ffs
Well it is quite an important one when it is on your job description as it is for 3 out of four of us and you are being paid an essential driver car allowance and get your mileage back.

Sarcelle · 17/08/2019 20:30

One of my friends who lives in a normal house with limited parking (and with public transport) has a car, so does her DH, so does her DS, so does her DD. Her DH also has a van. So 5 vehicles in that household. Madness. I have relatives who also have a car each, with no real need. If you genuinely live somewhere where public transport is not an option, then of course having a car is going to be attractive and viable. But if you live somewhere where there is public transport there is no need and it's monumentally selfish. It is becoming the norm to have a car each.

adaline · 17/08/2019 20:31

Are you not in the UK, OP? I didn’t think there was anywhere in the country with no public transport at all

I'm not the OP but plenty of places don't have adequate public transport. Our town has two buses a week (and they only go to one place). It does have a train station, but there's only one train line so again, you're very limited in where you can go. Even if the train does go where you need it to, on Sundays/Bank Holidays, the first train isn't until 10am so again, not much use if you have to be at work.

For example, if I wanted to get to work via public transport, it would take me 4 hours by train. I would then need to get a bus (or walk 7 miles) as the town I work in doesn't have a train station. To get there for 9.30am, I'd need to leave the night before. To get home again by the end of the day, I'd need to leave work 4 hours early. It's not exactly practical. There is no bus service.

Having a car is a necessity for huge numbers of public. There are massive areas of the UK that aren't accessible by public transport, or if they are, the times/cost mean it's out of reach to your average commuter.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/08/2019 20:33

I'm not the OP but plenty of places don't have adequate public transport

She didn’t say it wasn’t adequate. She said they don’t have it. So I took that to mean “at all”.

If she meant they do have it, but it’s not very reliable she would have said that, surely?

adaline · 17/08/2019 20:37

She didn’t say it wasn’t adequate. She said they don’t have it. So I took that to mean “at all”.

Okay, but having inadequate public transport is of no use whatsoever if you can't use it. We have a train station but it doesn't take me where I need to go, so to me it may as well not exist.

Pipandmum · 17/08/2019 20:38

It’s not ‘cheeky’ to ask, but certainly is to use their spaces without asking!

SimplySteveRedux · 17/08/2019 20:54

We have two buses a day to nearest town, nearest train line is 12 miles away, adequate public transport, or cycling, aren't always accessible options.

Nanna50 · 17/08/2019 21:01

Apart from asking the neighbours I’m also wondering why the first person home in your household doesn’t park in the street.

notacooldad · 17/08/2019 23:35

It is becoming the norm to have a car each.
It's been the norm for a long time. I passed in 1983 and got a car, my sister same, two years later and my brother 18 months after that. We were a 5 car family in 1987. ( mum and dad had one each and mum was a SAHp) It wasn't unusual or certainly not within our social circle.

Likethebattle · 18/08/2019 00:30

1 car isn’t always enough ffs! How can you know for certain the ops circumstances.

LagunaBubbles · 18/08/2019 01:11

Cycling haha. Kind of need to get to work presentable not looking like a freezing drowned rat as I would be the majority of the year as I'm in Scotland.

notacooldad · 18/08/2019 01:18

LagunaBubblessome people talk shite
I'm a keen cyclist ( it's not a mystery hobby, as some people allude to, but cycling is not always a valid option for work.
Admittedly I miss not being able to cycle unless I'm rotated on ' an office day ' at work which is once every 7 weeks.

Original poster

Happyhappy011 · 18/08/2019 10:47

Ridiculous people suggesting 1 car per family, car share, public transport! You actually know nothing about people’s lives - I need my car for work. It is part of my job - district nurse travelling from house to house. DD is a consultant and needs to see clients. DH leaves extra early so who would car share and who even lives near us that would volunteer. Stop trying to save the plant by stupid suggestions ffs. Bit like saying you do not need a spare bedroom so should move house so you can save on the electricity. What a boring existence to spend hours walking, cycling, car sharing - get real!

OP posts:

SockMachine · 18/08/2019 11:45

“Stop trying to save the plant.....What a boring existence to spend hours walking, cycling, car sharing - get real!”

It is daft, though, in general, to build lifestyles where each individual needs a car. It isn’t sustainable. New housing needs to link to better thought out transport links, and more work need to happen by internet etc .

People slag off London but so many Londoners manage with cycling and public transport, because the infrastructure is there.

Original poster

Happyhappy011 · 18/08/2019 15:18

To update all of those that suggested asking them, I have spoken with my next door neighbour, one of the families that never use there spaces at all. They agreed to use their spaces and not street park - apparently they hadn’t realised the problem it was causing. All sorted

OP posts:

SilverySurfer · 18/08/2019 16:03

applesandacorns
I recently moved into a flat that had been empty for a month, so the neighbours had been happily using my private space for that time... hmm I started leaving notes on their cars and they stopped, but they now grumble that I won't let them use it when I don't have a car! Not one of them has offered to pay either. I don't care if I don't have a car and my space is empty, I pay for it and you aren't using it. Neighbours stealing private parking spaces annoys me no end.

I've read everything now. You have a car space but no car and resent your neighbours using the space? I can't believe how mean you are. I hope you never need to go to one of your neighbours for help.

Brefugee · 18/08/2019 16:09

ask if you can rent one from them?

cornish009 · 18/08/2019 16:19

I didn’t think there was anywhere in the country with no public transport at all. Where I live it’s a bit shit but we still have it

We have no public transport where I live in the East Midlands. The nearest public transport to where I live is 9 miles away - that is also where the nearest shops/schools/facilities are too.

Littlechocola · 18/08/2019 16:19

We have three cars. Nearest bus stop is 6 miles away. Nearest train station is about 18 miles away.
All three car owners work random hours in opposite directions. Car shares wouldn’t be possible because we have no neighbors!
Maybe a horse is the solution?

StoneofDestiny · 18/08/2019 20:43

Great outcome OP.

Love to see all those advocating giving up their car trying to cope with highly inadequate bus services in rural areas, cycling to work and arriving sweaty, wet and knackered, cycling with a family load of shopping hanging off the handlebars etc etc

Cars might be expensive luxuries to some, but absolute necessities to others who need to get around and live productive lives!

AlpacaGoodnight · 18/08/2019 21:18

Sounds like a good outcome! Hope it works out!

origamiunicorn · 18/08/2019 21:33

OP, everyone in my street has 2 allocated parking spaces. A few families in the street have 3 or 4 cars (despite buying a house with 2 carpark spaces) We have 1 car (you can see where this is going...)

When we moved in, it didn't take long for them to notice that we had 1 car and 2 spaces, so we spent the first 6 months with cars parked on our private property and having to knock on doors constantly asking them to move because we were expecting visitors.

We had to end up putting up signs and telling them not to park there, they weren't happy as there is no where else to park, but it's not our problem. They bought a house with 2 spaces.

If they'd have asked, we would have said yes that's fine or no we have visitors tonight, but they didn't they were CFers. What I'm saying OP is don't be a CFer. Ask.

Grobagsforever · 18/08/2019 21:35

The only unreasonable part of your post is getting DH to park for you so you 'don't walk alone' - you've described the area as safe so why are you worried about walking down a street?

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