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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To park in neighbours private parking bays

74 replies

Happyhappy011 · 17/08/2019 18:28

Advice please. This is driving me nuts! We live on a relatively new development where parking is fairly limited. We live in a street of 20 houses, 10 each side. Each house is allocated two private bays which are situated at the back at the rear of our back gardens. We all have a gate to the back. However each house has on average 3 cars - us included. Mine, DH and DD she is 21. We have mostly al lived in the street for quite a few years and I guess slowly our DCs have all grown up and have their own cars now. Parking during the day M-F is fine as we mostly all work in our street. However nobody is home during those hours so irrelevant really. Come 6pm when we all start coming home there is nowhere to park. MY DH and DD use our two bays so I would generally park outside in the street. BUT..... most of the other houses do not use their bays at all as they don’t like going in through the back gate! It doesn’t bother us in the slightest. So that means all the street parking is gone and I have to go sometimes two streets away. DH takes my car and parks it so that I am not waking alone! Would it be unreasonable to use their bays? They are literally empty 95% of the time. If we have visitors it is a nightmare and so too for theirs. I don’t want to cause any arguments as they are all good neighbours - nobody speaks except a nod good morning but they are not noisy or ASBO types so wouldn’t want to upset them at all. I am being driving out of my head with frustration here. Help me out please

OP posts:

LisaMontgomery · 17/08/2019 18:57

3 cars for 3 adults is mad if you live in a city and/or somewhere with excellent transport links. If your local bus service runs twice per day and nearest train station is 10 miles away then 3 cars is actually necessary for everyone to get to work.

Janedoughnut · 17/08/2019 19:01

Does either your DH or DD come home earlier than you so they can park on the road and leave one of your spaces free for you?

stucknoue · 17/08/2019 19:02

Ask them!

Disfordarkchocolate · 17/08/2019 19:15

I would ask if you can rent one. Good luck.

Underhisi · 17/08/2019 19:17

Ask them.
One car per adult is not unusual in rural areas. We currently have 3 between 2 adults. One small car each and a big one to use if our disabled ds is in the car.

adaline · 17/08/2019 19:19

Also three cars in one household is mad. One car is enough

Why is it mad? Not everyone lives somewhere with good transport links. If you live rurally and you all work in different places at different times, you all need your own car.

1arlingtonroad · 17/08/2019 19:22

Also three cars in one household is mad. One car is enough
Funniest thing I’ve read all day

Banjodancer · 17/08/2019 19:22

I hope the three cars is too many posters don't have more than one dc - how rude.

LagunaBubbles · 17/08/2019 19:22

Also three cars in one household is mad. One car is enough

Really? DH and I both work full time shifts. In different places. We would have to give up work as we need a car each. Love how all the "3 cars is mad" brigade probably think public transport is brilliant everywhere.

Midlandsmummy29 · 17/08/2019 19:23

Why doesn’t your DH or DD park on the street when they get home earlier which would leave one of the bays free for you? My parents have a similar parking situation and this is what they do.

I don’t think it’s cheeky to ask your neighbour to use their bay but you run the risk of asking to move your car when they cannot get parked on the street or have visitors.

fedup21 · 17/08/2019 19:24

Parking during the day M-F is fine as we mostly all work in our street. However nobody is home during those hours so irrelevant really.

This is confusing.

Do you really all work in the street you live in? Why are you not at home then during the day if you work there?

notacooldad · 17/08/2019 19:26

Also three cars in one household is mad. One car is enough
Could you sort our car issue out if we only have one car please.
I am an essential car user for work. If I dont have a car I don't have this job. Dp is a courier so drives from our house in Penwortham to Edinburgh or Bristol or Newcastle on a daily basis. Ds 2 is at college 36 miles away. He is sometimes there from 04.00am if they are going on a study trip. Some nights he stays until about 11.00pm if they are working on a project.
Ds1 sometimes can use work vehicles but needs to travel to various sites across Northern England.
We have good transport links
Please end our madness!!
( no, we are not giving up the jobs we love and are well paid and trained for)

TheZeppo · 17/08/2019 19:27

I’d definitely ask to rent rather than borrow. I have 2 spaces for my house, just me living there so only have one car. The other day I came home to two council vans parked in both 😡 (thought about doing a parking thread, with diagram, but I’m too nice 😳I offered them tea, parked out the front of my house and told them to knock when they were done 🤣).

I’d appreciate the offer of rent, then give it you for free. Maybe your neighbours will be the same?

notacooldad · 17/08/2019 19:28

Parking during the day M-F is fine as we mostly all work in our street. However nobody is home during those hours so irrelevant really.

This is confusing
Mo it's not. The residents are out at work during the day monday to friday so parking in the street is ok then.

AngelasAshes · 17/08/2019 19:28

3 cars is a lot. We only have one. We live in farming village so quite rural as well.

PlutocratCow · 17/08/2019 19:38

nearest train station is 10 miles away then 3 cars is actually necessary for everyone to get to work

Don't be ridiculous, it's not "actually necessary" at all.

Car shares with colleagues (paying for petrol & repairs proportionally)...
motorcycle...
or cycling...
Or request to wfh if your job allows regularly/boss will permit...

No wonder the planet is fucked if we all think a car is necessary for a 10 mile journey!

My DH and I have car shared before until it no longer worked (my colleague moved away, DH shared for a year with a guy who retired).. then a combination of wfh and cycling worked with the train station, and that's 12 miles away.
We're at offices with showers in a single location so I know it wouldn't work if you're expected to be at multiple locations for work... But a car is NOT the only option ffs.

maggie222 · 17/08/2019 19:52

Only on MN do people think everyone lives in their perfect bubble.

"3 cars is too many - no wonder the planet is fucked"

I tell you what I can use NHS resources to pay for the taxis they offer to pick me up and take me to dialysis 4 times a week along with various hospital appointments. My hubby can order taxis on account from the local authority he works for to get to meetings which comes out of vital funds which you pay for with your council tax, by the way he does not claim mileage for using his car as they made it so bloody awkward to do and he is rushed off his feet doing the job of 3 people.
My sons body is fucked so he cannot walk like a normal 17 year old and needs his car to get to college and hospital too as I cannot take him when I am at dialysis.

Life is not so simple that we can all use car shares, public transport etc

sewinginscotland · 17/08/2019 19:53

@PlutocratCow These are not options for me. I live 17 miles from my work, DH lives 6 miles from his. My work is about a 40 minute walk out of the town centre. I found a car share for about 6 months, but she moved jobs and I haven't found another one since. Public transport would take 1.5hrs and get me to and from work at the wrong times. A bike is just plain dangerous down country roads. Motorbikes are just plain dangerous full stop. The company would let me work from home 2 days a week. I need a car to get to work. My DH has a work vehicle that he keeps at home because he's frequently on call, he uses that for commuting.

A car is the only option unless one of us changes job and we move house.

We are a 3 car household too, DH has his own car because he's not allowed to use his work vehicle for leisure purposes.

But OP, I was in a similar situation. In my old flat, we had allocated spaces. I noticed the next door neighbour never used their space. DH (then DP) would park his car in her space - with her blessing. And never on Friday/Saturday night as she said that her DP might need it then. If they're not using it, you can only ask. That's not unreasonable.

adaline · 17/08/2019 20:01

Car shares with colleagues (paying for petrol & repairs proportionally)...
motorcycle...or cycling... Or request to wfh if your job allows regularly/boss will permit...

Oh, to live in such a perfect world!

I live 40 minutes drive from my job. There's no public transport and no possibility to car share as nobody else from my work lives within half an hour of me. I suppose I could get a motorcycle but then how would I do things like get a food shop on my way home, or take the dog to the vets in the next town? I'd need a car as well so there's no point paying out for two vehicles for one person.

I certainly couldn't walk or cycle 25 miles each way - especially not in the depths of winter on unlit, un-treated, single track rural roads, nor could I work from home as I'm the manager of a shop, so I have to physically be on site to do my job.

Now, if I lived in a city or in a town that had buses that ran more than twice a week, or trains that ran before 9am, then there would be other options, but as it stands, there isn't.

adaline · 17/08/2019 20:03

Car shares with colleagues (paying for petrol & repairs proportionally), motorcycle, or cycling, or request to wfh if your job allows regularly/boss will permit...

Oh, to live in such a perfect world!

Now, if I lived in a city or in a town that had buses that ran more than twice a week, or trains that ran before 9am, then there would be other options, but as it stands, there isn't.

rosesandcashmere · 17/08/2019 20:06

If they own the space YABU. You might aswell Park in their house. Ask them. It really annoys me when people park in the space I own and paid for.

adaline · 17/08/2019 20:11

And for people saying "cycle" - rural cycle routes are not the same as urban ones. Rural roads generally don't have cycle tracks, are unlit, have no pavements and are downright dangerous for cyclists at the best of times. The ones round here are hilly and part of routes like the Fred Whitton - it's just not possible for the average commuter to cycle to work.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/08/2019 20:14

Gosh, I live in the midlands and my nearest colleague is in Portsmouth. I'd love to see her reaction if I suggested a car share

We have a car per adult in our household; it is needed. I wfh generally but often leave the house at the drop of a hat. Others work and one is disabled. If we cut down on cars, there would be more journeys as those who had use of the car would have to give lifts to the others.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/08/2019 20:15

Oh and I can't ride a bike.

Back to the topic at hand - ask them. They may say no, they may say yes. If they say no, just your DH or DD to park on the road instead.

StoneofDestiny · 17/08/2019 20:18

OP - have you asked yet?

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