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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nosey fucking NDN.

80 replies

Bluebluered · 17/08/2019 17:35

AIBU to want to go in my garden, jump on the trampoline with my kids, play football or whatever without twitching fucking curtains and a live audience.

I’m sick to fucking death of them. I can’t afford tall bamboos or something to create a screen so they can’t look into our garden.

Just jumped on the trampoline for literally 1 minute (jiggling body and all) and I can see the little shit moving their net curtains to catch an eye ful of me in my jiggling glory. Gave them a death stare and walked off inside pissed off now because the parents do it too, so I won’t expect them to tell their little shits to stop being nosey.

OP posts:
pinkpinkblue · 17/08/2019 23:11

Looking out of a window isn't spying

browzingss · 17/08/2019 23:14

For what it’s worth, I’m on your side OP. The kids sound rude and annoying as fuck.

I was on a long distance train this morning. For 3 hours someone’s child (around 12) was sat in front of me, but spent the entire journey turned virtually 180 degrees - facing me and staring at me, commenting on everything I was doing (putting my litter in the bin, drinking water, any slight movement etc). Her family didn’t say anything to her but it was so weird and awkward having them staring at me for that long. Yes she was just a kid, but it was absolutely bad manners.

BlankTimes · 17/08/2019 23:45

Every time the kids go outside, ndn little brats start shouting out their window at them, asking nosey questions like, why do you have this in your garden, why has X gone inside, why is X crying, why is X laughing etc etc etc.

If you all just look at them and say once 'Go away and mind your own business' then for any further questions shrug but do not answer, ignore them, they'll get tired of asking.

RosesAndRaindrops · 17/08/2019 23:49

The irony of you complaining they are watching you, whilst you are looking into their windows.

This!
I mean, why are you looking up at the window as it is to even notice lol.
You sound self conscious like you think everyone's looking at you and laughing which they won;t be at all.
I mean, if you were happy on the trampoline, you'd take one look at them moving the curtains, think "meh" and carry on jumping, surely?
Not stomp off inside.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 17/08/2019 23:57

Next time they start asking questions say "no shouting over the fence". And ignore the spying. Why do you care if they're looking?

Itsreallymehonest · 17/08/2019 23:58

This reminds me of when my child fetched a step ladder to look over the hedge at our neighbours!

Heartburn888 · 18/08/2019 00:00

Why don’t you offer the kids round to play , that might be the reason they look because they want to join in or wish they had parents who want to get involved and play with them?

Sparklesocks · 18/08/2019 00:07

Ridiculous

Cherrysoup · 18/08/2019 01:05

They open the window and start annoying us with their stupid shouting and questions.

This would drive me nuts. Have you spoken to the parents about them?

Why don’t you offer the kids round to play , that might be the reason they look because they want to join in or wish they had parents who want to get involved and play with them?

How is this the responsibility of the OP? Why should she offer free childcare? Nothing to do with her.

Original poster
Bluebluered · 18/08/2019 08:07

Why don’t you offer the kids round to play , that might be the reason they look because they want to join in or wish they had parents who want to get involved and play with them?

Bloody hell. I can always trust MNetters to come out with this garbage. Reminds me of the thread when there was a strange squatter in someone’s shed and the OP was being told to go and offer him tea and invite him in for dinner 😕...

FWIW, I have my own children and am not responsible for anyone else’s kids. The fact I sometimes shout at them to move back away from the open window because it’s dangerous is more parenting than their parents have done in the last 4 years. If I ever want to have a nervous breakdown from listening to constant tell taling I’ll invite them around. For now, I’m quite happy with my sanity.

We’ve tried ignoring the spying for years. If you ignore them, it just gets louder and louder.

Well, it seems I’m being U. Just because they’re kids they’re given a free ticket to be rude and nosey. You must all be fantastic parents.

OP posts:
SeriouslyEnoughAlreadyRantOver · 18/08/2019 08:33

YABU a bit

If your garden is overlooked, then anyone can see you - ignore them, it makes no difference is curtains are moving or not. Why do you care? Ignore. They must be awfully bored if they have nothing better to do.

Vivi890 · 18/08/2019 08:36

What the hell! You’re insulting children and calling them names because they look out of their own window when they hear a sound outside!?? This is bizarre! This is honestly the weirdest thread I’ve ever read on mumsnet.

Vivi890 · 18/08/2019 08:42

Also - it doesn’t matter what dramatic language you use - ‘rude’, ‘intimidating’, ‘safe space’ (🙄) you can’t change the fact that YOU are the one being rude - calling children vile names and insulting them because they look out of their window and dare to speak to you???? The things you have said about children is disgusting and unacceptable and they haven’t done anything wrong. They’re the ones who should feel intimidated, not you - and I’m sure they are their parents would feel intimidated if they knew terrible things you’re saying about the children, with such hatred, for such a small reason. They are in their home, which is also their ‘safe space’ and yet they’re being judged and attached for literally looking out their window. It’s crazy that you can’t see that you’re the unreasonable one here!

Vivi890 · 18/08/2019 08:44

“SPYING”!!!! Forgot this corker. They’re literally children looking out of their window! 😂 please tell me this thread isn’t real

WalkofShame · 18/08/2019 08:46

You sound like an absolute joy. It’s no wonder they’re drawn to you and your sunny disposition.

Daffodil2018 · 18/08/2019 08:51

I think you probably are over reacting but we all do that from time to time.

Could you string a washing line up and hang some sheets on it to "dry" when you want privacy? They'll still see you boinging over the top of them when you're on the trampoline though Grin

ElsieMc · 18/08/2019 08:57

Usually the threads on here are about intrusive, noisy and annoying trampolines invading neighbours' privacy throughout the summer months. This is a reverse of that.

Whilst the kids sound annoying, it might be that their parents are sick of your noise and intrusion of their privacy because you are clearly near enough to look in their windows. If it escalates, they may accuse you of looking in their windows at their children in the same way you are stating the adults look at you. Sometimes the perceived victim becomes the perpetrator.

Can you not move the trampoline away from their house? Other than that invest in some conifers providing screening for you both.

Original poster
Bluebluered · 18/08/2019 10:45

Our garden is massive and our trampoline is placed near the end of our garden. We are nowhere near their window.

We need something taller than drying sheets.

Can’t believe people don’t find twitching net curtains every time you’re in the garden rude. Amazes me.

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 18/08/2019 11:28

I suppose most people on here are adults who aren’t horrified and offended by children looking at them, because they’re kids. Wild concept I know.

Cohle · 18/08/2019 12:29

What amazes me is how absolutely vile some people are towards children.

That and people who post on AIBU but absolutely refuse to accept that they are, in fact, the unreasonable ones.

PumpkinP · 18/08/2019 12:45

I don’t think yabu. I had this but I live in a gf maisonette and the neighbours above would always without fail hang out their window every time I went into my garden and just stare down at us. It was really weird and annoying and I hated it. And no I wasn’t “spying on there window” I could HEAR it open every time I went out and they would hang out and talk loudly to make a point they were there. I even posted it on here and got the usual “haven’t you invited them down” fuck that! Only on mumsnet would people invite random neighbours into their home and garden who they’ve never even had a conversation with.

Aprillygirl · 18/08/2019 13:10

Write 'LOOK AT THIS' on your arse cheeks and pull a moonie at them next time you catch them staring. That should put them off even glancing your way for life lol.

JudgeRindersMinder · 18/08/2019 13:16

I feel your pain! We used to have neighbours like this at our old house-and that was before garden trampolines were a thing.
We couldn’t get peace from the kids when we were in the garden-dd was only about 3 at the time-without the kids next door, who were a similar age, constantly shouting over and out of windows at us. Their mother couldn’t be arsed doing anything with them.

Original poster
Bluebluered · 18/08/2019 13:42

Some sane people at last!

I’m not vile towards them. I’m venting about them to people on the internet. Yes it’s a bit two faced, but where have I physically or mentally been a vile bitch to them? I’ve been putting up with this nosy shit for years now. Any normal person would get pissed off after years of it. As seen from other posters above!

OP posts:
dollydaydream114 · 18/08/2019 13:43

I’m on your side here, OP. What you’re describing clearly isn’t just kids looking out of the window now and again; your further posts make it clear that it’s much more than that and the kids are nosy and intrusive in a way that most parents would put a stop to on the grounds that it’s bad manners. If they either stare or start asking nosy questions every time you go out in the garden, it’s rotten.

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