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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have regretted taken after morning pill?

37 replies

mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 03:45

Last night me and DH DTD unprotected. We always use protection so last night was really a once off.

I have just ovulated 2 days ago so knew if left to fate I would of been fertile enough for pregnancy so bought the morning after pill this morning and took it.

But now that I have taken the pill, I can’t help but feel like I will regret this decision and should of just left it in nature’s hands? I have been crying for the last half hour feeling beyond guilty for taking the pill...😥

Please mumsnet help me get my head straight, why would I regret it when we were never actively trying for a baby?

For reference we have 2 DD (3 and 4.5) if that makes a difference...

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 03:46

Title should taking not taken **

OP posts:
kb16 · 17/08/2019 03:48

I also had unprotected sex with my partner whilst I was in the window for ovulating. I went to get the morning after pill and the pharmacy wouldn't give me it as they said you need to take it before your 'fertile window' as all the pill does it stop u from ovulating, if you have already ovulated it won't prevent pregnancy! Low and behold I'm now 7 weeks pregnant!

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 03:53

That’s crazy, the pharmacist never said a word about that to me? I even read up on the medicine last night before my purchase and they said it prevents the eggs from being fertilised as the pill changes the lining of your uterus..?

How bizarre but congratulations on your pregnancy 🥰

OP posts:
Monty27 · 17/08/2019 04:01

I've taken it twice. I don't remember any of that spiel. It was a long time ago mind.

HUZZAH212 · 17/08/2019 04:08

@kb16 I'm pretty surprised at that as you can order it online from Superdrug and have it delivered to you.

Fizzpopwhizzbang · 17/08/2019 04:31

YANBU. I think sometimes we don't realise how we feel about these things until it's too late. Taking the morning after pill was maybe a kneejerk reaction in a panic?

But I definitely wouldn't worry about this at all. You did nothing wrong. Maybe these feelings are a sign that you and DH should be discussing the possibility of another DC?

kb16 · 17/08/2019 04:40

@HUZZAH212 I live in Scotland so we don't pay for morning after pill, I guess the pharmacy thought it was pointless as I could still get pregnant

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 04:41

I think you are right! Maybe subconsciously I just need to have a chat about future children and thats where the guilt is stemming from

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 04:42

You don’t pay for MAP? That’s awesome, in Australia we have to buy it and get crucified with embarrassing questions to purchase it Blush

OP posts:
kb16 · 17/08/2019 04:47

We are lucky and don't pay for any prescriptions in Scotland! Still get the embarrassing questions for MAP though haha

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 04:49

Wow @kb16 thinking I need to make the move to Scotland Grin

OP posts:
HUZZAH212 · 17/08/2019 04:55

That's really great that they'll supply for free in Scotland😊. Out of curiosity did they still suggest accessing your GP for a coil fitted/convo, if the MAP was unlikely to work? Just as a potential alternative if the pill would be unlikely to be effective? (just musing on if pharmacists discuss alternatives for say younger women/teens who might then feel they don't have other options available).

kb16 · 17/08/2019 05:17

@HUZZAH212 if I remember they did ask what my usual birth method was (mines was condoms, previously on the pill but it made me slightly moody all the time Grin) I would imagine for younger girls (hopefully) they would offer that advice! I've only ever used it once before that time so I don't have much experience on getting it!

CinnabarRed · 17/08/2019 05:26

Why on earth didn’t you get a coil fitted when the pharmacist refused to sell you the MAP? Coils are more effective than the MAP any way, and are effective up to 5 days after sex.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/emergency-contraception/

CinnabarRed · 17/08/2019 05:29

Sorry - that sounds really judgemental - what I really mean is why didn’t the pharmacist tell you about the coil as an option?

kb16 · 17/08/2019 05:34

@CinnabarRed excuse me, not that it's any of your business and as an adult I am more than capable of making decisions about my own birth control and not feeling the need to justify myself. I'm an adult in a long term relationship a home and already a loved little boy. It wasn't the end of the world if we fell pregnant and we are happy. I don't use the coil for my own reasons hence why I use another method. I don't need to be patronised and have links posted to me as though I don't understand how birth control works,

MsHopey · 17/08/2019 05:36

This is mad.
We have 2 DS, one has just turned 2 and the other is 3.5 months.
DH had a vasectomy 2 weeks after the youngest was born and will soon have his check up where they check the sperm levels and determine if it's safe to continue without protection.
Sometimes in the moment DH doesn't want to wear a condom, obviously I insist he wears one.
But afterwards i do think to myself "that could have been our last chance for another baby and i said no".
We only have enough room, money and patience for 2 to be honest, if we had a 3rd it would no way be this soon after having DS. DH has only ever wanted 2.
And I got pregnant with both the first month I didn't use contraception.
So I know it would all be a very bad idea, and yet, I do find myself wistfully thinking about that 3rd that won't happen.
DH is like "we'd be fine if a 3rd happened and if it happened while waiting for the all clear then it was meant to happen".
It won't happen because I insist on the condom, but still, I do think about it after every time he puts that condom on.

boatyardblues · 17/08/2019 05:37

Where we live there’s a desperate shortage of trained GPs who can do coil fittings. A wait of 6-8 weeks or more for an appointment to fit (or remove) a coil is not unusual.

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 05:42

@MsHopey isn’t it amazing how us mothers are always thinking of what if’s? I just don’t know what it is and my DH is like yours and said just leave it to fate but I was so scared of adding another to the madness I couldn’t see beyond that till i took the time to think about it after taking the pill

OP posts:
MsHopey · 17/08/2019 05:51

@mummyof2girls18
I would never have thought about it before having my boys.
I think it's more like I know how much I love them, how beautiful, clever, funny they are, and that obviously as a mother it's how I'd feel about a 3rd, 4th, 5th etc, which I am now depriving myself of ever having.
But I know it's probably not the right thing to do for us as a family and the vasectomy probably has already taken effect.
But you do seem more in a position to discuss a 3rd, especially if your husband is talking about fate and things. Whereas mine had a vasectomy, which I agreed with, so I think its just last minute wavering on my part as it's supposed to be fully functional (or not if you know what I mean 😂) in 4 weeks time.
Have a think and talk to your DH.

basicbitch16 · 17/08/2019 06:13

@mummyof2girls18 I found out for myself that what you were told is correct, although I was never actually told it.

l thought I had ovulated days before, we DTD 3 times in a day (unheard of for us 🤣) then I realised the next day that I was ovulating!!! I took the map (after telling the pharmacist so he should have known!). 3 weeks later I had really sore boobs & hello DD3!

I cannot imagine life without her, she completed us. Good luck OP! Xx

Original poster
mummyof2girls18 · 17/08/2019 12:43

I actually can’t believe how much MAP has failed for women, it’s meant to be 95% effective if taken within in the first 24 hours. I wonder if it’s more to do with having something else interact with it (antibiotics, vomiting, diarrohea, etc)?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 17/08/2019 13:28

How can they know that the MAP is 95% effective?

Of those women that took it they don't know how many would have conceived or not....

They know only 5% of those that took it got pregnant but of the other 95% perhaps only 10% would have got pregnant anyway which means (as an example) it's only 33% effective...

Unless in all the clinical trials they were scanning women in the hours after they had sex to see if an embryo was created (I seriously think not)

RandomMess · 17/08/2019 13:30

My MAP failure is in her 20s my housemate who also had a condom failure and took MAP within a fortnight had an abortion. So I think it's a bit crap tbh although no doubt it has improved over the decades.

Herat1986 · 17/08/2019 13:34

Hi - have only read the OP but...
The MAP works by delaying ovulation for long enough for the sperm to die (around 3 days). Therefore, if you already ovulated it will do nothing at all.
That said, you are only fertile for around 24 hours after you ovulate so very unlikely you'll get pregnant anyway.
If you want to conceive, sex before O is best as then the sperm can be in the tubes waiting until the egg is released and bingo.
Good luck!