Wedding pictures posted....

[Piersorgan]

My DH's (female) friends posted pictures last year of our first wedding anniversary. No pic of me included.

This year, I've come off Facebook, (because of them)and they've posted a more representative batch of photos, a couple which included me. No where has my DH referred to our anniversary but just generic comments about the friends. AIBU?

Nope pancake.

There must be a rather large back story if you have fully deleted Facebook because of them!!

LTB

I also wonder if its a time hop sort of thing.
I dont think its so odd for someone to mostly take photos of ones side of the bridal party.
I dont tend to post photos of people that dont have me in it or close friends (i sort of like to think that way i know who is happy woth SM presence amd obviously select photos that are important to Me). At my work friends wedding whos groom i dont know so well, i think 99% of the photos i posted were photos of me with people i know at the day or me and the colleague . There were a couple of colleague on own pulling faces. I wouldnt take or share generic photos of the ceremony, or venue or couple together really (id expect that to be done by the couple).

Sorry if I posted a confusing post.

Our wedding was a really, small intimate party with close family and friends only.

The female friends of my husband posted a whole range of pictures on our first wedding anniversary, none of which included pictures of the married couple which drew comments from our family as they felt it was a bit off. Pictures of the groom were included in the montage. It was a new selection of pictures and not a mindless time hop. One of our mutual friends commented on the post saying 'where's Piers in all these pictures?'

I deactivated my Facebook account a few months ago as there was a pattern of exclusion from these two friends. My H would be invited to events/BBQ's/even a holiday publicly on SM, no invites included me. I'm only aware of these instances as they've been pointed out to me by a range of people over time.

FB wasn't bringing me much joy so I deactivated it a few months ago.

Assumption is a great thing. I'm not checking Facebook.

I only know about this years post as my H was telling me about a comment thread on one of the pictures and said at least they included some of you this year. I looked at his phone and he'd made comments about a number of things on there but nothing about our anniversary. I felt he could have marked it with a reference but the banter was about everything else but.

Were you friends with them yourself on SM, so they were specifically only 'tagging' Mr Organ on the post? Are/were you friends with them In real life? Just thinking were they specifically excluding you as in Piers is not invited to this, or is it Mr Organ is the friend? Do your friends include him in all invites to you?

Ooo loads of questions there!

Last one.... Is it because they are female, would you be bothered if they were male and doing this?

Why would he give a reference of your anniversary if your not on SM? What’s the point? you would never see it!

Some people don’t half make life complicated.

If you left FB because it "wasn't doing you any favours", then it might be an idea not to worry about where in there anymore OP 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is it because they are DHs friends originally?

I would (and have) post a picture of me and a bride who I’m good friends with at their wedding to mark their anniversary. I wouldn’t think that I needed to included the groom to be honest and it’s not because I have anything against them.

Don’t see the issue at all with your DH not commenting about it being your anniversary either on someone else’s post.

And I certainly don’t invite my DP on every event I do with my friends.

Are you perhaps a bit jealous that he has female friends?

Why on earth would your DH have to make a comment to/about you about your anniversary on a social media platform you left? That is just bizarre.

The friends seem like jerks for all the exclusion. But I don't think the social media here is too outrageous. I think last summer when I went to my bff's wedding I only posted picture(s) of my friend and group of friends and none of the groom.

To be honest, OP, Facebook seems to be the least of your issues.

It’s very hard to know for sure whether YABU or whether their intent is a bit malicious. It all sounds a bit strange.

You had a very small intimate wedding yet they were guests. So have they known your DH long but you just never clicked with them? Have you always disliked them, in which case I’m not sure why they were there. He can have friends you don’t like, but surely the guest list at a small family wedding is created jointly. Or is this a recent thing.

Maybe they are deliberately excluding you and your DH is (unintentionally or deliberately) facilitating that. Maybe he likes their attention. If it makes you this uncomfortable and your worries are justified he should be a bit more mindful and ensuring they invite you to events etc. Or if they really are malicious he should put you first and stop this friendship.

OR it’s a very normal friendship and you are reading too much into things. To leave Facebook because of them is very extreme. Are you maybe too focused on them and what they do. That would seem to suggest you are jealous and possibly a bit too invested in your DH’s friendships. Which would be stifling and irritating and then of course his friends will not like you.

TLDR;
Dh has some female friends who don't like me.

This reminds me of the post from the DW of a DH that did group things with his dog's relatives owners. I think there were two women in the group that continually excluded the DW from meet-ups/holiday invites and acted as if she didn't exist. Was that you OP?

Why is your husband still friends with them?

Are they posting these montages because it’s your anniversary or just posting pictures? Because if pictures just happen to coincide with your anniversary, I don’t see why your husband would mention it?

Dragons - not me, no.

Your anniversary doesn't really have anything to do with DH's friends, so I'm not sure why you think he should mention it. I and DH don't talk about our relationship on FB. As for the wedding photos thing - my MIL has several photos on display at home of my and DH's wedding. DH and Best Man, DH and brother, DH, brother, MIL and her (2nd) DH, MIL, BIL and DNephew … not one with me in it.

This is why i don't use Facebook too easy to get lost in it all. And too easy to cause problems

So your husband didn't mention your wedding anniversary on Facebook - is that it?

Provided you celebrated you anniversary together and are indeed happily married I wouldn't give the FB thing a second thought (maybe an eye roll at the photos)

The pictures they posted this time around clearly came up in Timehop or their FB Memories. Your DH doesn't need to mention your anniversary in commenting on them, because ... why would he need to? It's obvious that they are pictures of your wedding and obvious that they have been shared because they came up in FB Memories on your anniversary because that's how it works, so he doesn't need to reference this in the comments.

Your DH's friends aren't your friends, and that's fine. They don't sound particularly nice, but maybe they think the same about you. It is incredibly childish to delete your Facebook SOLELY because your husband has some friends of his own, and I strongly suspect that if they were men, none of this would bother you.

Did your DH acknowledge your anniversary to you, in person? Are you happy and do you trust him? Then that's all that matters. You don't have to be pals with his friends.