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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my Sil's request is cheeky?

53 replies

WantANewSil · 15/08/2019 14:15

NC for this. Sil has just asked dh to travel to hers on the train (he can't drive) so he can set up a mini portable spy camera for her. It would take about 2 hours to get to her house. Would be quicker by car. It's something she could bring to us to have set up so isn't it cheeky to expect dh to spend time and money instead. We have a young toddler to look after and she has no children and I'm sure she has more free time. She never does us a favour and has never gone out of her way to help us. She is a very entitled and quite frankly a selfish women. Sulks if she doesn't get her way. After 10 years of her I'm a bit at the end of my tether with her cheeky demands and selfishness. She has in the past demanded that we stop what we are doing and get a taxi to see her because she is in the neighbouring city with spare time on her hands. Many many other examples but I don't want this to be long or drip feed. As my username suggests no Im not her biggest fan so that could be clouding my judgement.

OP posts:
lmusic87 · 15/08/2019 14:17

No, its sounds very simple to set up herself.

TixieLix · 15/08/2019 14:21

SIL is a CF. DH should be firm and say he doesn't have the time to travel to and from hers to do the set up, but he's happy to do it if she fetches it to him. Does SIL drive?

Original poster
WantANewSil · 15/08/2019 14:25

Yeah Sil can drive and has a car

OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 15/08/2019 14:30

Yabu. It is not cheeky to ask your own brother to come round and do you a little favour. If it's too big a journey for your dh and it really doesn't need to be done at her house, then he can just tell her that and ask her to bring it to him instead. Your dislike is clouding your judgement.

IAskTooManyQuestions · 15/08/2019 14:36

Im sure your DH can decide whether he wants to pop over to his sister or not.

2 hours by train, thats like London to Manchester

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/08/2019 14:38

Sounds like you really dislike her.

Surely it's up to your DH if he does it or asks her to pop over instead?

Cassilis · 15/08/2019 14:39

Has your DH said no?

Veterinari · 15/08/2019 14:40

Can’t he just Skype or FaceTime and tell her how to do it?

onalongsabbatical · 15/08/2019 14:40

2 hours by train to do a job for her? Has she got no friends/neighbours/partner? No, YANBU, she's insane expecting that and if that's how she's been over the years I'm not surprised you're fed up OP!

Bluntness100 · 15/08/2019 14:40

Your husband doesn't have to say yes.

Your issue is with him and not her if he likes to jump when she tells him to.

CuriousMama · 15/08/2019 14:40

What has dh said about her?

pinkyredrose · 15/08/2019 14:42

Just say no. The cam would come with instructions and presumably she can read.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/08/2019 14:44

Well, she's obviously an annoying cunt but it's up to your H to decide if he wants to oblige her or not. There was another post on here recently about a disliked SIL and, once again, PP reminded the OP that it does no good to stamp your little feet and demand that your H choose between wife and sister otherwise the poor man gets hell from both sides.

HollowTalk · 15/08/2019 14:44

Who the hell are the 6% who said YABU?

ShirleyPhallus · 15/08/2019 14:45

She has in the past demanded that we stop what we are doing and get a taxi to see her because she is in the neighbouring city with spare time on her hands.

I’d love to hear the other side of this. Sounds just like SIL invited him out for the day....

Nofunkingworriesmate · 15/08/2019 14:48

She’s not your sis so easily avoidable
But what does your OH do and say is crucial

Original poster
WantANewSil · 15/08/2019 14:50

onalongsabbatical thank you. Yeah after 10 years of her demanding behaviour I'm very fed up.

Bluntness100 yeah it's a bit of a dh problem with him letting his family and sister especially walk all over him

ShirleyPhallus when you invite people out you ask and don't demand. You give more than 5 minutes notice. And you don't sulk when you are told no sorry we are busy. There was no warning, it was just come over right now to where I am. She was only free for an hour as well

OP posts:
NarcolepticOuchMouse · 15/08/2019 14:59

I think the problem lies more with your husband than his sister. He enables her. Why is he not calling out this nonsense? To be brutally honest it would make me lose respect for my dp if he put up with that kind of attitude. He's being a mug.

Travis1 · 15/08/2019 15:00

Has your husband agreed to this? If he has then he's the bigger issue for being such a sap.

chockaholic72 · 15/08/2019 15:03

I'm single and have a car. In the past month I've painted a bathroom, hung the fixtures and fittings, laid a wooden floor, built a fence at the allotment, put up vertical blinds, installed a new printer on my laptop and put up some lights. The only thing I couldn't do was lift a flatpack cupboard from IKEA into the back of my car but a kind bloke in the carpark helped with that.

I wouldn't even drag my brother a mile down the road to set up some camera thing - tell her to get a handyman in. She's a CF.

MollyButton · 15/08/2019 15:05

You husband has to learn to say No. And so do you (why would you drop what you are doing just because she is a bit bored so asks you over).

And I wouldn't be saying " No because...." but just "No".

WhyBirdStop · 15/08/2019 15:06

YABU because it's not your decision to make. She asked her brother, he could've said no it's too far/expensive because I don't drive either I'll talk you through it over the phone or you can bring it to me. He didn't he said yes. My brother and I put ourselves out to help each other and if DH got a strop on about it, I'd tell him where to go.

TheGrapefulDread · 15/08/2019 15:06

Surely this could be sorted over FaceTime or some such method of comms. no need to physically be there to give techno advice.

jessycake · 15/08/2019 15:10

Is she paying the fair ? because trains are not cheap

Original poster
WantANewSil · 15/08/2019 15:13

WhyBirdStop she never returns the favour. Its always one way. She is very selfish.

OP posts: