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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu or is my boss

28 replies

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 12:05

I work term time so I’m enjoying the school holidays with my children. However... my boss has non stop contacted me throughout and I’m getting fed up. It’s often an email here or there asking for me to update paper work and return, fine, but I’ve had numerous calls from her which I refuse to answer outside of work time and texts asking me to answer her within the hour/ she’s in work so to pop in. One call was during an emergency I had no intention of answering my phone to anyone and she sent a rude text that I should be available at all times. This isn’t in my contract and there isn’t any work that needs to be completed outside of my place of work, especially during half terms etc so I feel like she is being completely unfair knowing I haven’t got childcare to do this. I have now been asked to go in twice to organise plans for September (all unpaid I might add) at the end of August. It’s not necessary for my role and I refuse to go. I don’t want to be rude to her as I have to face her daily when September comes but I just want to enjoy my time off without thinking about work!
Am I being unreasonable to think she shouldn’t be contacting me at all or is she right that I should be available if she needs me?

OP posts:

Widowodiw · 15/08/2019 12:08

No she shouldn’t be contacting you in this manner And definitely not asking you to come in. I work term time and as my boss says “we are not a charity if we are not paying you, you don’t work.” Perhaps a call to her to remind her you are on a term time contract and your t&cs reflect this.

Pringlemunchers · 15/08/2019 12:08

I think you need to have a conversation with her. Make it clear , what you are prepared to (or not). Is she not term time ?

RatherBeRiding · 15/08/2019 12:10

Do you have an HR department? If so, clarify your contract and Ts&Cs with them and then simply do not take any calls/emails during your non-contracted hours. There's no need for rudeness - a simple but polite remainder that xyz are your working hours and you will discuss any work issues when you are next in work.

Original poster

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 12:11

Thanks for the quick replies, she is term time too so I’m confused myself about why she is even on site/contacting staff during her holiday. Everything can wait until September as I made sure all paperwork was up to date and filed in mid July so I can’t think what there is to do. I have emailed to confirm I won’t be attending work at the end of August as my children are still on their holiday and I have no childcare, not that I feel I should have explained but again I don’t want to be rude and make things awkward in September.

OP posts:

Merryoldgoat · 15/08/2019 12:14

I work in a school and I work through the holidays. It's in my contract. There are other staff who are TTO. They are not contacted except in a GENUINE emergency.

I had a meeting yesterday with the Head and we were discussing work in holidays etc (it's an opportunity for me to burn through stuff without teachers being around so I tend to get a load of stuff done) and he said he tries very hard not to contact anyone over the summer unless talking about promotions and salary (which they will be aware of). They know what needs to be done before term starts and they are all adults who are able to do it.

Your manager is being exceptionally unreasonable.

How senior are they? Can you talk to their manager if you don't feel comfortable talking to them directly (which is what I'd recommend). Do they KNOW that you are TTO and not paid for the holidays?

When I was new to working in schools it took me a while to realise how TTO contracts worked and there are vast differences within those - is she new to your workplace?

Original poster

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 12:19

She is a senior manager but im not sure who is above her as I haven’t met everyone in the team (only she comes in, we are mostly left to it) I have worked there for 2 years and have never been contacted outside of work before. I will consider emailing HR if it happens again so it’s on record thank you

OP posts:

TeaForTara · 15/08/2019 12:32

If she rings you, do not answer the phone.
If she emails or texts you, do not read the content of the email or text and do not engage other than to send back an "out of office" kind of response i.e. "I am out of the office, returning on [date]. Your message will be actioned after that date."

Merryoldgoat · 15/08/2019 12:35

But why not talk to her first?

'X - I wondered if we could discuss something: can I just check that you are aware I'm on a TTO contract? I've felt rather uncomfortable being contacted a lot over the summer and the expectation of my coming in to work unpaid and being in touch during non-working periods is not something I'm neither used to nor prepared to accept. Is there a way we can resolve this amicably?'

I think there is room for something between being pissed off and going to HR...

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 15/08/2019 12:37

At this stage I'd keep a record of all the texts and emails and phone calls

I'd have a meeting with her when you were back to lay out expectations. Just reiterate you work term time only and she contacted you x number of times. Go through your contract and remind her you are not paid for holidays and are not contracted to be on call or anything. State you look after children in the holidays so holidays unable to be on hand to answer queries but even if you didn't, you wouldn't expect you or any employee to be contacted outside working times unless it was a genuine emergency.

And take it from there. I would only go to HR if she doesnt acknowledge this or doesnt change. It will be much more awkward if the first discussion about it is official from HR

BeneathTheMist · 15/08/2019 12:38

I had a comment from a colleague just before going on leave. He asked if I wanted to be emailed about a new member of staff being recruited. I said no as I'm on holiday and won't be looking at my emails. Sarcastic response from him was 'how very disciplined of you'. I was 😬

TeaForTara · 15/08/2019 12:41

Oh and YANBU, obviously. She IBVU.

HouseworkAvoider10 · 15/08/2019 12:51

Inform HR now.

Original poster

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 13:09

Thanks mumsnetters I’ve blocked all incoming calls for now while I decide what to say to her or hr, there’s 3 weeks left and I don’t think I can cope if it happens for the rest of that time I’m depressed enough at going back to work as it is without this daily reminder!

OP posts:

Cloudyapples · 15/08/2019 13:13

Put an out of office on your email saying along the lines of I work term time only so will reply to your email when I return to the office on x date

Dutch1e · 15/08/2019 13:20

I can completely understand you blocking the calls etc. But would it be worth calling her today to clearly reiterate your terms? The message from @Merryoldgoat is ideal. Leaving it may just ruin your holiday anyway, and no matter how unreasonable she's being she will probably get even more wound up if ignored.

Queenioqueenio · 15/08/2019 13:25

I’d ring her today to 1) remind her you are term time only and 2) let her know that you are putting an out of office on.
You will most likely have an awkward conversation but just putting an ooo message on now, as opposed to at the start if your holidays, might get her backup more as it seems a bit passive aggressive to me.

Chunkers · 15/08/2019 13:30

Is she contacting you on your personal phone and email or work ones?

5foot5 · 15/08/2019 13:36

she sent a rude text that I should be available at all times.

This leapt out at me.
At "all times"? What 24/7?
I work in a FT job and I sure as hell don't consider myself to be available at all times - only during working hours.

Teateaandmoretea · 15/08/2019 13:57

Block her number from your phone and stop checking your email. Yanbu at all, if they want someone available during the holidays they need to pay their wages over the holidays, simples.

dollydaydream114 · 15/08/2019 14:03

If you're outside your contracted hours and on leave, then your boss is being extremely unreasonable and unprofessional. What she's doing is totally unacceptable. And yes, as others have said, definitely worth keeping a note of her attempts to contact you.

I have worked for someone who thought it was fine to call me frequently on my days off and in the evenings with minor, non-urgent questions and issues and it was very frustrating. Amazingly, this continued after I resigned and went to work somewhere else - I was still getting regular calls from her on my personal mobile when I was in my new job. The final straw was when my phone rang and it was the temp she'd engaged to cover my role while she recruited, asking about where she could find a certain thing because she was on her own in the office and didn't know where to look. I told her where it was but then said 'Hasn't [boss] left you her mobile number for things like this while she's out of the office?' and the temp said 'Well, yes, but she said she doesn't have time to take calls today so I should just call you instead.'

So yeah, definitely nip this in the bud now!

Original poster

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 14:10

Thanks everyone, still silently stewing but no contact from her since. For the pp who asked, these are my personal email and mobile number she is contacting me on. I have text 2 colleagues who haven’t heard from her, so she’s targeted me this summer for whatever reason. I think I might go with the suggestion of an automated response style reply with a message about being on holiday, HR are shut over summer I have just discovered and I don’t know how to word it to her directly without being passive aggressive as pp mentioned, so I think that might the ‘politer’ way of dropping the hint to her.

OP posts:

Original poster

akmum18 · 15/08/2019 14:12

hr are uncontactable more so than shut as they are also on their term time holiday and the number doesn’t dial through (colleague’s words I haven’t attempted to call them)

OP posts:

EL8888 · 15/08/2019 14:13

She’s unreasonable. I would escalate this to HR. It feels like bullying and intimidation

Hadalifeonce · 15/08/2019 14:36

I would call with a 'not sure if you know this, but I am term time only employee. So you don't think I am rudely ignoring your texts/calls, I thought it better to explain. See you in September.'

dollydaydream114 · 15/08/2019 15:05

For the pp who asked, these are my personal email and mobile number she is contacting me on.

That makes it doubly unacceptable.

Hope this gets resolved, OP - nobody needs bloody work stress they're on leave. Hope you can enjoy the rest of your summer without her hassling you.

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