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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying to trace someone - using AIBU for traffic

41 replies

Oneandoneontheway · 13/08/2019 23:45

Hello all!
I'm trying to trace someone I knew 20 years ago, when I knew him he was in the army-stationed in Salisbury at the time. He's not on Facebook/Instagram - LinkedIn. I still have his number but it's not his anymore. I have tried the various email addresses I can think of. Does anyone have any clever ideas about how to trace someone with limited info!!!

OP posts:
Iamnotagoddess · 13/08/2019 23:47

I could help but I want to know why you want to know - are your reasons sinister or not?!

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 13/08/2019 23:50

Really not sinister!! Just an old friend from a long time ago that after all this time I still think of! And wonder if he's OK? It seems to occupy my mind alot these days

OP posts:
TeamUnicorn · 13/08/2019 23:59

Have you tried Forces Reunited? (Not sure how it works though)

Jamiefraserskilt · 14/08/2019 00:01

Post something on social media and ask people to share. By the 6 degrees of separation theory, someone may know him or his family.

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 00:05

I didn't know about forces reunited - will take a look, thanks x

OP posts:
Undercoverdetective · 14/08/2019 00:07

Could you write to him care of his regiment and ask for a letter to be forwarded.

PickAChew · 14/08/2019 00:09

google his name?

I know exactly where a boyfriend I had 35 years ago is by doing that.

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 00:10

Google does not work! I have tried and tried!
My worry is he tried in combat.
However, the suggestion of writing to the last post I know off sounds sensible, do you think they would forward it on?

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 14/08/2019 00:21

Post something on social media and ask people to share. By the 6 degrees of separation theory, someone may know him or his family.

I would HATE to be the subject of this. It's hideous to do this publicly. What if the persons doesn't want to be found?

MrsGarethSouthgate · 14/08/2019 00:24

@Iamnotagoddess
Do you think someone with sinister motives would be defeated by your cunning questioning technique, and confess all?? Grin

31RueCambon · 14/08/2019 00:27

Do you have a site where all death notices are announced in the UK?

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 00:29

I shall fess up! It's someone I loved very dearly a long time ago, and for silly reasons we stopped talking. He's never been far from my mind and now I'm much older and wiser and would love to speak again. Nothing sinister or weird! Just a reconnection!!

OP posts:
31RueCambon · 14/08/2019 00:29

I wouldn't like the 6 degrees of separation sharing on social media either! I'd be embarrassed, people might assume that there had been some big love affair. And it 'd be awkward if a person did that to find you and your reaction was more like 'wtf, wtf, oh em, hello by the way, but what the fuck?''

31RueCambon · 14/08/2019 00:30

Let us know if you succeed!

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 00:30

If he had left the forces, would he still be forwarded a letter if I sent it to his last known regiment?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 01:08

I shall let you know if I succeed, but doubt I will 😔

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 14/08/2019 01:15

Oh OP. I’ve had wine so I now hope you find him and the update ends with confetti

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 01:35

@user1473878824 I've also had wine and always hoping for a successful end! Xx

OP posts:
redredrobins · 14/08/2019 03:01

Write to the army pensions office and ask them to forward your address, if he served for a long time he would be receiving an immediate pension.

thejudgesaidhewasatitandIagree · 14/08/2019 03:49

Can you find someone like that via those ancestry sites?

AnnonniMoose · 14/08/2019 04:22

There are FB groups that track people. This one if very good: www.facebook.com/groups/desperatesearch/

AnnonniMoose · 14/08/2019 04:22

is good, not if!

TumblingTumbleWeeds · 14/08/2019 05:08

I belong to Find My Past. I keep forgetting to cancel the subscription. If you know roughly the year he was born - the closer the better, full name and the town or area where he was born you will be able to search all records. Birth, marriage, death electoral rolls etc.

PM me if you want me to run a search for you or you can sign up yourself.

Good luck.

Original poster
Oneandoneontheway · 14/08/2019 16:43

@TumblingTumbleWeeds sent you a pm x

OP posts:
Iamnotagoddess · 14/08/2019 17:41

Pretty sure the pensions office wouldn’t forward anything. Would break GDPR.