Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is he texting too much? Clingy?

43 replies

phatsandfatter · 12/08/2019 22:21

I'm dating a guy,not official just dating.
He texts a lot.
Tonight I went out at 4pmwith a friend for drinks.
He text at 5pm then sent me a Snapchat.
Then text at 6.30pm I replied and told him that I hoped he had a good night (to end the convo)
Then he text at 8 pm then another Snapchat at 10pm
I feel suffocated
Is this clingy ?
Or aibu

OP posts:
Original poster
phatsandfatter · 12/08/2019 22:30

And another text Angry

OP posts:
matahairyy · 12/08/2019 22:30

Text him.

Say it’s over

WifOfBif · 12/08/2019 22:31

Yes that would put me off.

Original poster
phatsandfatter · 12/08/2019 22:33

I'm not replying to that last one
I'm pretending I'm asleep

OP posts:
madeyemoodysmum · 12/08/2019 22:40

Sounds a bit too keen Maybe give him a few more days and see but it sounds a bit doomed.

Ginger1982 · 12/08/2019 23:33

My DH was a bit like that in the beginning. I found it weird as I wasn't used to having a guy contact me as much (pretty poor dating history). However I rode it out, accepted he was doing it as he was keen and gradually I became more keen as I got to know and love him. Been very happy now for a good few years and our texting is at a pretty normal level, despite me often having to chase him for a reply!!

If you like him, I wouldn't bin him quite yet!

Bambamber · 12/08/2019 23:35

Do you keep replying to him? He may not be aware of how annoying he is being and if you just keep replying he won't know there's a problem

Cloudyyy · 12/08/2019 23:39

Yuck!!! I can’t stand people who text like this - get rid!!

Violashift · 12/08/2019 23:44

Only 4 texts from 5pm until now. Not enough for me. I would think he was boring and not interested. But I am a texter🙈

I think we must have text about 300 times a day for the first few weeks.
Each to their own though. Maybe you are incompatible.

zeezee3 · 12/08/2019 23:52

4 or 5 texts in 3-4 hours?

I don't send that many in a week to one person!

Needy! Dump him.

Doidoit19 · 12/08/2019 23:56

Are you sure the snapchats are just for you? A friend of mine kept telling me how this ‘creepy’ guy was always sending her photos of himself ready for a night out, in the gym etc. Turned out he was just sending it to all his contacts. If that’s the case a couple of texts isn’t horrific 🤷🏻‍♀️

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/08/2019 00:26

This would drive me mad and I’d be telling him so. Thank God I’m so old that I was dating before mobiles were invented. I couldn’t have put up with this having to be constantly in touch bollocks.

Original poster
phatsandfatter · 13/08/2019 07:21

When I say he text at 5 pm it wasn't the one text,it was back and forth for about 25 mins.
Even the smallest replies from me will get a response.

OP posts:
Tiredoptimist · 13/08/2019 07:27

Probably just likes you.
Just reply early in with ‘Great, I’ll be in touch later in the week’ etc and ignore any reply. If he is arsey about it, it is a problem. If he gets the message (and everyones texting levels are different) then all is well!

MsHopey · 13/08/2019 07:30

Only too much if you think it's too much.
You have to be compatible.
If its putting you off then that's fine, its up to you, we all have different perspectives, opinions and things we find annoying.
🤷🏻‍♀️

NoSauce · 13/08/2019 07:32

Needy? Maybe or he just likes you. It’s not uncommon for people who are first dating to text a lot. If you don’t like him end it.

NameChangeNugget · 13/08/2019 07:36

I’d think too keen and too needy.

whyohwhyflowerdear · 13/08/2019 07:41

Your other thinking this. Some people like to text others don't. I don't think the amount he sent you last night was that much. The man likes you is that such a bad thing?

Longdistance · 13/08/2019 07:47

He seems keen, but it sounds like it’s too much and suffocating.
My dh doesn’t contact me that much.

dancemom · 13/08/2019 07:50

Horses for courses.

If it's too much for you tell him.

Chitarra · 13/08/2019 07:52

I would find this a bit much, but some women would like it so I think it's a bit unfair to expect him to know you don't without telling him (kindly).

Chickychoccyegg · 13/08/2019 07:56

If your replying he probably hasn't given it a thought that it might be annoying, just stop replying to them all and see what happens, or tell him its too much for you, he might just really like you, bit harsh to say he's too keen or too needy.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 13/08/2019 07:56

Perfectly normal with the guy I'm seeing at the moment - quite sparse even.

I've been annoyed at a guy texting vfx too often before though - I guess it depends if you are into the the bloke and want to hear from him or not!

bruce43mydog · 13/08/2019 08:01

Some people need more reasurance than others to feel secure in a relationship. Sounds like he likes you. I don't think it would bother me if someone was like that with me. But if it did get annoying I would say something like oh stop texting me to much

ZaZathecat · 13/08/2019 08:13

I wouldn't like all that contact while on a night out. I'd answer the first and then ignore until I'm free again. I probably wouldn't hear the phone anyway as it would be in my bag and I'd be too busy chatting.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.