Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu neighbor absolutely p*****d me off... i’m done

46 replies

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 20:50

hey, so I and Ds have lived in our home for three years, genuinely always got on with neighbors as we live in an end terrace but to be able to get to our house we have to go down a ginnel which faces everyone’s gardens...
That’s by the by, our next door neighbor has mental health issues has had mental breakdowns while we have lived in the property we’ve been supportive etc... But there has been occasions when i’ve had friends over and he’s literally thrown himself into a mound of nettles while talking to me... about 3 months ago I had a rat run in front of my front door... he had a garden that was an absolute jungle... it still is... every year it’s the same he’s saying he’ll sort it out... actually got someone in to do it last year but yet again back to the same. This is usual talk where it’s apparently going to get ‘sorted’ he doesn’t work so there is plenty of time just to go out for five mins a day or week to pull up weeds and whatnot... back to the rat... there was a family of them living in his pipe work as the was over a foot of pipe missing... they’d burrowed our from the pipes and through to my garden. He EVENTUALLY got someone out... had known about said problem for YEARS!!!
So I took it with a pinch of salt and said don’t worry about it...
Back to the garden... he apparently doesn’t like gardening so chooses to leave it as it is. Yet going to clean up the streets around the village is better for his mental health...
Then a few weeks ago I had a parcel come... I was at work at the time and came home to a delivery note from the RM person stating my parcel had been left with my neighbor. So I go knock on the door.. no answer... later that evening we had a chinese the woman came to deliver it and as she was leaving he came to my gate with said parcel opened the gate then walked back into his fn garden... so I open the door and he was like “this is for you isn’t it?” my reply “yeah” clearly it had my name on the chuffing front of it in bold letters... so he gives it to me and i notice it’s open... then he says “oh... it seems to be open..” so I was really p*d off and slammed my gate shut and didn’t say another word to him... my parcel was a private parcel....
He is 20 years older than me... I also have mental health issues and have done for many years but I don’t talk about it to everyone.
Since that... he has typed out a letter and gone to the post office to send it to me at my home address.... I was shocked... it was only updates on the rat situation but to mail it to me... I didn’t say anything just thought ‘okay fair enough’ then... a couple of weeks later I get another letter... recorded delivery signed for... I wasn’t in so had to go pick it up from the depot it was from him... again... making sure I had signed for it...
I’d had enough... I was done. My landlord asked him to stop sending me the letters and that I would prefer non communication with him. He didn’t take it well... obviously nobody would but it got to a point that he was knocking on my door all the time once at 11pm at night to say he’d seen something go across the sky... i was in chuffin bed... felt like saying it was a fucking aeroplane... but because everyone says it’s okay to him he gets away with everything including walking into peoples homes.
But i’ve put my own stop to it... my landlord put up a screen attached to my fence just to give us a bit of privacy as the fences are only 2ft high now with the screen still see through mind is at the recommended height of no more than 2 metres high. He was absolutely furious... but baring in mind i’m an end terrace so the only thing it blocks out is my garden... nobody else’s so it shouldn’t be an issue... it was... he said it was ridiculous, to be quite honest I would put it past him to try and rip it down... Am I being unfair in cutting contact with him or what?

OP posts:
user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 20:58

oh and just to mention since the screen has been put up he’s gone over to al the neighbors and said what about his mental health... and that he’s going to sell his house... he won’t... but it’s just the way it’s all about him. Not how anyone else feels

OP posts:
ItsAllGO · 12/08/2019 21:06

Move house. I would.

carly2803 · 12/08/2019 21:11

move house. this wont improve

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 21:13

we are currently on the waiting list.. we have been for four years but not much comes up. We like living here... but surely we’re entitled to our privacy?

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 12/08/2019 21:15

I think if you've lived next door for a few years with only minor disagreements I would continue to try and keep the peace.

The parcel thing sounds like a mountain out of a molehill. You sound fairly laid back about the state of the garden. The letter posting is odd on his side. But maybe rather than getting the landlord to talk to him about it you'd have been better off just saying to him yourself that you'd rather talk or put a note through the door. No need for signed delivery as it's a pain.

So in summary, keep your distance as much as possible but if need to communicate or he approaches you be polite but not chatty.

Thehop · 12/08/2019 21:15

God move.

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 21:18

I’m the opposite of laid back about the garden... the screen now blocks out the eyesore that i’ve had to view for the past few years.

OP posts:
ImposterSyndrome101 · 12/08/2019 21:21

Sounds awful, I'd keep your distance like you are and ignore what you can, be friendly or assertive when necessary and report anything that is dangerous or intimidating to you or your family to whoever is appropriate. Maybe a call to social services wouldn't be a miss.

bridgetreilly · 12/08/2019 21:22

Report him for anti-social behaviour. Also to the council re. the rat problem.

NoBaggyPants · 12/08/2019 21:25

Why are you involving your landlord?

This strikes me as six of one/ half a dozen... You're both acting like children. Ignore him, ignore what he says to others, and don't go gossiping about him either. Peace restored.

FattyPeddledFuriously999 · 12/08/2019 21:27

Sorry I couldn't stop laughing at the idea of him going to the post office to post you letter and then you having to go and collect it!

Have some Flowers and a Wine

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 21:31

I didn’t involve my landlord. Landlord knows exactly what he’s like and has done for 30+ years... landlord took it upon himself to speak to him and say that.

OP posts:
Boysey45 · 12/08/2019 21:34

I'd ignore and make a report to 101 if he becomes intimidating and I'd tell the postperson that if I wasn't in,I don't want my mail/parcels left with the neighbour.

Tistheseason17 · 12/08/2019 21:36

Just keep ignoring but make a record.
Then report him to the police for harrassment.
You can also report to the Council about the garden with rats - they do something about that! :)

RosaWaiting · 12/08/2019 21:46

OP have you told him bluntly that you won’t tolerate this? And will report for harassment? I just wonder if he’s taking advantage of you being nice.

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 21:49

yes i have rosawaiting. But because I’ve stopped the circle in it’s tracks he doesn’t like it as he’s used to everyone just getting on with it. i’m not here to gossip and moan I was just asking if I was being unfair to cut contact

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 12/08/2019 21:56

You’re not being unfair at all in cutting contact.

5zeds · 12/08/2019 22:14

So his garden is weedy? Surely that’s up to him.
Rats? Call environmental health abouttge ones on your property they will track down the source.
Slammed gate in his face because he’d opened your parcel? Stop postman delivering to him, accept that he’s unlikely to deliver letters in person now and will stick things in the post (as would i).
His/your MH? Just carry on it’s nota competition.

Sami121 · 12/08/2019 22:15

If you want to stay where you are it is best to try and stay on half friendly terms otherwise he could become a real pain in the backside. I had an experience when my next door were total drunks. I learnt its always best to keep on the good side of the people living next door, even when you cant stand them it just makes life easier.

sweetiepie1979 · 12/08/2019 22:15

Cut contact yes move as soon as you can behaviours like that will only get worse.
Tell post office no parcels to be delivered to his door if your not in. Ignore him. The rats would really bother me urghhh. I’d there anything else you can do about that? Speak to council that’s a health issue isn’t it manky garden loads of rats urghhh

WillLokireturn · 12/08/2019 22:40

Totally ok to go NC/LC if he makes you uncomfortable. Not sure how you can try to stop postman dropping off parcels to his if you are out except do not leave at number "Y" if you get a chance for instructions.
Grow some Ubers on that fence and that should help block out even more of his side from you.

WillLokireturn · 12/08/2019 22:40

Grow some climbers... Not Ubers 😂😂🤣

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 22:43

🤣 uber’s... can’t fit many if any uber’s on there

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 12/08/2019 23:21

I’d call 101 every time he harasses you.

TerracottaLeggy · 13/08/2019 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.