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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

aibu neighbor absolutely p*****d me off... i’m done

46 replies

user1484244633 · 12/08/2019 20:50

hey, so I and Ds have lived in our home for three years, genuinely always got on with neighbors as we live in an end terrace but to be able to get to our house we have to go down a ginnel which faces everyone’s gardens...
That’s by the by, our next door neighbor has mental health issues has had mental breakdowns while we have lived in the property we’ve been supportive etc... But there has been occasions when i’ve had friends over and he’s literally thrown himself into a mound of nettles while talking to me... about 3 months ago I had a rat run in front of my front door... he had a garden that was an absolute jungle... it still is... every year it’s the same he’s saying he’ll sort it out... actually got someone in to do it last year but yet again back to the same. This is usual talk where it’s apparently going to get ‘sorted’ he doesn’t work so there is plenty of time just to go out for five mins a day or week to pull up weeds and whatnot... back to the rat... there was a family of them living in his pipe work as the was over a foot of pipe missing... they’d burrowed our from the pipes and through to my garden. He EVENTUALLY got someone out... had known about said problem for YEARS!!!
So I took it with a pinch of salt and said don’t worry about it...
Back to the garden... he apparently doesn’t like gardening so chooses to leave it as it is. Yet going to clean up the streets around the village is better for his mental health...
Then a few weeks ago I had a parcel come... I was at work at the time and came home to a delivery note from the RM person stating my parcel had been left with my neighbor. So I go knock on the door.. no answer... later that evening we had a chinese the woman came to deliver it and as she was leaving he came to my gate with said parcel opened the gate then walked back into his fn garden... so I open the door and he was like “this is for you isn’t it?” my reply “yeah” clearly it had my name on the chuffing front of it in bold letters... so he gives it to me and i notice it’s open... then he says “oh... it seems to be open..” so I was really p*d off and slammed my gate shut and didn’t say another word to him... my parcel was a private parcel....
He is 20 years older than me... I also have mental health issues and have done for many years but I don’t talk about it to everyone.
Since that... he has typed out a letter and gone to the post office to send it to me at my home address.... I was shocked... it was only updates on the rat situation but to mail it to me... I didn’t say anything just thought ‘okay fair enough’ then... a couple of weeks later I get another letter... recorded delivery signed for... I wasn’t in so had to go pick it up from the depot it was from him... again... making sure I had signed for it...
I’d had enough... I was done. My landlord asked him to stop sending me the letters and that I would prefer non communication with him. He didn’t take it well... obviously nobody would but it got to a point that he was knocking on my door all the time once at 11pm at night to say he’d seen something go across the sky... i was in chuffin bed... felt like saying it was a fucking aeroplane... but because everyone says it’s okay to him he gets away with everything including walking into peoples homes.
But i’ve put my own stop to it... my landlord put up a screen attached to my fence just to give us a bit of privacy as the fences are only 2ft high now with the screen still see through mind is at the recommended height of no more than 2 metres high. He was absolutely furious... but baring in mind i’m an end terrace so the only thing it blocks out is my garden... nobody else’s so it shouldn’t be an issue... it was... he said it was ridiculous, to be quite honest I would put it past him to try and rip it down... Am I being unfair in cutting contact with him or what?

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 13/08/2019 01:15

I don't know if the letters are that strange. I've been told a few times when I've had issues to get a letter sent recorded delivery so you've got a proof you've sent something.

The parcel could have been an accident. I've almost opened someone elses parcel before thinking it's mine. I signed for it, the guy never said it was for a neighbour and I was expecting something. ywbu to slam his gate shut.

yanbu about the rest of it.

TheCakeCrusader · 13/08/2019 01:15

@user1484244633

“later that evening we had a chinese the woman came to deliver it and as she was leaving he came to my gate with said parcel opened the gate then walked back into his fn garden...”

Chinese woman? What does her ethnicity have to do with anything?! 😏

woodenplank · 13/08/2019 01:16

Oh do fuck off with your patronising grammar policing @TerracottaLeggy, the post DOES have paragraphs - maybe being rude and inappropriate isn't your only problem...sort your software out.

woodenplank · 13/08/2019 01:19

@TheCakeCrusader, read your quote again, no mention of ethnicity. The food was chinese, I do believe it is still allowed to be. The woman delivered it.

notangelinajolie · 13/08/2019 01:28

Well I'm exhausted reading all that.

OP time to move house.

And in the meantime ignore him.

TerracottaLeggy · 13/08/2019 02:07

No, this site has always had markedly standards writing-wise than other forums. It's a question of courtesy to the reader. Few people will bother to trawl through Barbara Cartland meets James Joyce-style posts.

TerracottaLeggy · 13/08/2019 02:38

Markedly higher* standards. Must not post and breastfeed.

1forAll74 · 13/08/2019 02:38

I would cut contact with this man,but he sounds a bit loopy,and might still be problematic anyway.. You will just have to wait and see, and hopefully live in peace for a while..and as you said, it's not always that easy to up sticks and move when you wan't to.

I would hate the rats though, I don't have a problem with them here,except one of my cats left a dead rat on the kitchen floor a while ago.

Sandybval · 13/08/2019 02:44

Is he getting any support for his MH?

user1484244633 · 13/08/2019 07:10

I didn’t slam his gate shut, or slam my gate shut in his face. He had already gone back towards his door and left my gate wide open.

OP posts:
user1484244633 · 13/08/2019 07:18

yes he is sandybval

OP posts:
ShhhBeQuiet · 13/08/2019 07:56

TerracottaLeggy Your posts are patronising and pompous. Is that your intention? I think it’s pathetic.

ShhhBeQuiet · 13/08/2019 08:01

OP,
I think it’s a really tricky and unpleasant situation. Is there anyone else who might be able to act as as a middle man? Perhaps the neighbour or a friend you could speak to?

Ffsnosexallowed · 13/08/2019 08:07

What were the letters about??

MrMeSeeks · 13/08/2019 08:08

I think you could have stopped all this by not slamming the gate in his face, it is what it is now.
I agree with moving, it’s not going to get better now.

AllFourOfThem · 13/08/2019 08:19

Are you certain there is not more to this because usually posting a letter, especially by Recorded Delivery, is the first step in demonstrating you have made contact and put across your side/request when that side wants to take legal action?

It’s his garden so leave him to it. Perhaps his MH is affected by gardening but better by doing other things. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Report the rats to Environmental Health and put a sign on your door saying not to leave parcels with neighbours.

I agree there is nothing wrong with your screen and it would be an offence if he damages it (although difficult to prove or take action against). I think you are fine to reduce contact with him and hopefully he moves or you get moved very soon.

user1484244633 · 13/08/2019 08:23

as I stated earlier mrmeseeks I did not slam my gate in his face. He was nearing his door as he had left my gate wide open. I do like to have the gate shut hence it being there in the first place.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 13/08/2019 21:20

@TerracottaLeggy

Barbara Cartland has been dead nearly 20 years Grin

PortiaCastis · 13/08/2019 21:28

Terracotta who made you Mn grammar lecturer and thread police, you getting paid for it maid

Sallyseagull · 13/08/2019 21:37

YANBU

And I know its not as easy as this but I would be doing all I could to move.

Fivebyfivesq · 13/08/2019 22:41

Ten points for use of the word ‘ginnel’ ☺️

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