To drink wine and cry in the bath?

[magpiecounter]

So after a week of positive HPT we finally thought our years of infertility were over and our IVF/ICSI had worked. It was an amazing dream come true. However that line didn't get darker it just disappeared and today the clinic have said they are sorry but it was a biochemical pregnancy and the little bean didn't make it.

So now I wait. I wait for the pain and the bleeding. I should be being there for my family and my husband but all I want to do is sit in the bath and drink wine because what's the point in being good anymore?

Im so sorry.
You have to do whatever you can to get through today and the next day and the next. Sadly it’s all we can do.
A bath and a good cry is a fair place to start.

I’m really sorry, I wish life was fairer xx

That’s really hard OP, I’m sorry. Have a soak and a cry with your wine then go and have a hug with DH.

Oh mate. You do what you gotta do. But be safe. Don't drink so much you forget you're in the bath!

Have the bath and wine. It’s shit, so sorry

Thank you. I guess I just need to work through some stuff. I tried going out today with a friend but she's very pregnant and I just spent the time miserable. She probably hates me now 🤦🏼‍♀️

I'm sure she doesn't, she would understand how you're hurting.

It's all I can spare. . .

I'm sure she doesn't, and I'm sure she will understand entirely; your heart has been broken a little and you simply need time to grieve. I'm so sorry this happened to you, and am sending all the anti-Mumsnet hugs.

Don't fall asleep in the bath. It's easily done.

I’m so sorry. I know how hard it is. Have your bath and your wine. I bet your friend doesn’t hate you if she’s any friend at all. She’s just as likely to think that you hate her.

Take care. One foot in front of the other.

That is horribly crap. Sending you un-MN hugs. There's some great support on the site when times are fucking bleak.
Take care of yourself

I won't fall asleep in the bath I promise. 😐 my husband went to the shops for me (we have no wine in the house) and said if I'm going to start drinking again I should do it properly. So he bought me a bottle of Prosecco and a bag of caramel m&ms 💕

Drink the wine, have the bath, don’t slip an drown in it. You are entitled to feel like shit; I’ve been through similar but not the same.

Get out the bath when it goes cold, get some PJs on and watch Tv, listen to an audiobook, cry, scream or stare at the wall. I won’t say it will get better (it will but it doesn’t feel like it!) but I will say that it won’t be like this forever.

Now that's my kind of man! Have the bath, the sobs, the wine, then go out for the cuddles and M&M's. . . .

Here, have another

Your husband is a good man. Mine did similar- a block of Cadbury’s and two bottles of Pinot. It won’t feel this desperate forever.

He's not usually this nice so I must look pathetic. I feel awful though because he blames himself for being the reason we needed ICSI and I blame myself for not being able to keep that embryo alive.

He wants to get straight back on and try again. We can do what's called multi cycle with the clinic and the next rounds will be cheaper. However I don't know if I can face this feeling again if it fails. I feel like my soul has broken. I'm meant to be be training as a councillor and should be so much stronger than this 😢

Please don’t refer to yourself, or allow anyone else to, as pathetic.

And please don’t do the “should be stronger”. Other people’s problems in your line of work are not the same. Don’t minimize how this feels. It’s ok to be in a dark place: just try not to stay there forever. Today is day one; wallowing is allowable.

I’ll pour the next glass.

Aww, I’m so sorry, went through this for a good few years. Everytime it failed (5 transfers) I threw myself into being able to relax and drink & eat what I wanted for a little bit, definitely do that while you can 💜
I always tried to make the most of not being pregnant, didn’t go nuts but relished being able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, to drink for a bit, lie in etc etc. This helped me, it doesn’t for everyone, but looking back I wish I hadn’t got so upset and invested my whole life into it and just lived in that moment. There is hope 🙏 I’m in a group of friends who all went through fertility problems/ivf and eventually all ended up having a baby 💜try not to focus too much on negative feelings, drink the wine and have the lovely treats, relax for a bit and if/when you’re ready, go into it again. Wishing you all the luck in the world

Have a big glass of wine! Your husband sounds wonderful (wine and chocolates:)). And then take some time to think about when to start again. I’ve had 3 failed cycles so know how you feel....but remember that when you have a baby in your arms this will all be a distant memory.

I hope this isn’t offensive and upsetting, but on the other side of the two PP experiences; even if you don’t wind up with a biological baby, you’ll still be ok in the end. There will be light at the end, whatever that light is for you and whatever that end is.

You're not pathetic. This is shit.

And only a fool has themselves for a client. If it applies to lawyers, it applies to counsellors.

It so crappy, so unfair. Stay well away from pregnant friends. Have a massive cry and in time you can think about what to do next, no pressure to decide anything right now.

I'm so sorry OP, look after yourself

Ohh OP, I'm so sorry, please have all the wine and cries that you need. Your friend won't hate you.

You do whatever it is you need to to get through this. IVF/ICSI is so tough and painful. Please take care of yourself and be nice to you too

Do it.
Really sorry it didn’t happen.
But if life teaches you anything it that horrible shit happens and so does random brilliant stuff. Just not when you expect either.

Just keep going. Sending and hugs.