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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for a doctor home visit

46 replies

nuggiepop · 12/08/2019 19:43

My DS is 17 and has Asperger's and Agoraphobia and he has not left the house since late 2014 so since he was around 12.5. He gets extreme anxiety around people and panic attacks.

Lately, he's been worrying about being diabetic. He is at a healthy weight and has been trying his best to eat healthily as he used to consume quite a lot of chocolate and biscuits. Because of being housebound he didn't get enough exercise in so we bought him a second-hand treadmill a couple of months ago and he's been using it daily for about 2-3 weeks now. But he still can't stop worrying about being diabetic He worries A LOT about his health.

He believes he may be diabetic or pre-diabetic because his toilet visits are frequent (I don't think so myself) and his grown half-sister is Type 1 diabetic he checks his blood sugar using her machine supplied by her own doctor and although his blood sugar is in the normal range (not diabetic) it isn't that far off pre-diabetes. He's convinced he has pre-diabetes or he's already diabetic and it's stressing him out daily. He's very paranoid about his health and quite honestly he's a hypochondriac.

We've had the doctor out for him before (around late 2017 because of a reason I can't remember) but now he wants his doctor to come to our home again to take his blood sample to test if he has diabetes officially.

Should I ring up and see if they're able to come out and do that or would it be bothersome to them... DS is a sweet soul but he worries so much and I'm convinced this is the only way he'll be able to be at ease.

OP posts:

Zebraaa · 12/08/2019 19:47

I doubt a doctor will do a home visit to take blood for someone with no symptoms and just anxious!

NoBaggyPants · 12/08/2019 19:49

A GP is not going to be happy with doing a home visit just to reassure him.

I have agoraphobia and have long periods where I don't go out, but I do accept that there are times where, if I really need something to happen (like seeing my psychiatrist) I have to go out. Can you support your son in building up to a visit to the GP? They may be able to offer an appointment outside of normal appt times so it is quiet and there won't be a wait.

bridgetreilly · 12/08/2019 19:49

Maybe he could get a phone appointment? A home visit really doesn't seem necessary and is a big drain on GP resources.

RuthW · 12/08/2019 19:49

He doesn't need a doctor, he needs nurse. If he is housebound then you can request a visit. Whether it will be accepted, I don't know as he isn't actually ill. Where I work we would sort something out.

bellabasset · 12/08/2019 19:50

I think that in the circumstances a dr's visit would be a reasonable request.

I can sympathise as a family member shut themselves away for years. Is now in their own flat as both parents have died and is a recluse.

QueenOfPain · 12/08/2019 19:51

Perhaps ring and get him a phone consultation.

Wolfiefan · 12/08/2019 19:51

He needs a phone appointment. What treatment is he having for the anxiety and panic attacks. Surely that’s the biggest issue?

Cryalot2 · 12/08/2019 19:52

Can you speak to your dr who will know him. Possibly arrange for the local district nurse to call and have a check up and do bloods and even urine sample.

Hope this helps .

Napqueen1234 · 12/08/2019 19:56

From a clinical perspective I don’t think any GP would visit- he hasn’t any clear signs of diabetes and the blood glucose tests he’s done himself have shown he isn’t diabetic (pre diabetes isn’t really a thing- we all have high sugars at times if we have had a large meal or bag of sweets etc as long as not abnormally high it’s no indicator of diabetes about to start). Type 2 diabetes which is the only type he would develop comes from years of eating a high sugar diet (usually, not always) so v unlikely in someone his age. A phone consultation or perhaps a private Skype consultation so he can speak face to face with a doctor may reassure him? Must be so hard but I really don’t think he’s anything to worry about.

NerrSnerr · 12/08/2019 19:56

Does he have input from psychiatric services for the agoraphobia with it being so severe? Or any input from other services? I would ask for a telephone appointment in relation to the diabetes.

Abstractedobstructed · 12/08/2019 20:00

He's been housebound since he was 12??
Where is Camhs? What is he doing for education? Does he have an EHCP?
He needs support to begin challenging his "housebound Ness", and it will probably be a long slow journey, and he is likely to need specialist help.

He is probably introspecting because he's so isolated. It's all part of a bigger issue, surely?

Allli · 12/08/2019 20:01

There’s only one way to find out! I hope you get the support he needs. It doesn’t seem right that someone can be basically left to just get on with it just because they are housebound (for whatever reason). I hope someone, nurse or doctor, can help you. Perhaps there are new treatments or coping strategies available to help with such distressing conditions. He should certainly be getting considered for anything that can help him by his medical practice and not forgotten about.

MrsBosh · 12/08/2019 20:03

Aww, your poor DS, sorry he is worrying so much.
My DH is a GP. They tend to visit those who cannot get to the surgery, which for the most part is the elderly and very, very frail and those who are perhaps bed bound in the last stages of illness. Otherwise where do you draw the line? You'd get people phoning saying they'd missed the bus so needed a doc to come to them etc.
However I know that DH visits a young chap with enduring mental health issues, who is otherwise able-bodied. I imagine in circs like that it's a case by case basis and they use their discretion. Could you phone and ask for a call back and chat it through with them - explaining the situation clearly. I wouldn't focus on the blood test alleviating his anxiety about having T1 but rather any symptoms he's experiencing. It's a waste of resources to take them for nothing and saying 'he wants them taken to put his mind at rest' might not sit well. If they agree it's worth looking in to, they might be able to get a district nurse to pop over?
What help is he getting with his agoraphobia?

Lostmychristmasspirit · 12/08/2019 20:05

YABU to ask for a GP home visit. Call the surgery to request blood tests and take him to get them done or see if they can request domicillary phlebotomy home visits.

Yaflamingalah · 12/08/2019 20:05

There is nothing to suggest your son has diabetes so please don’t waste the GP’s precious time by asking one to come to your home. What help have you sought for your son’s mental health? You must have had support if he hasn’t been out of the house for 4 years and received no education as a result.

Balladenny · 12/08/2019 20:07

Your son needs mental health support, not a diabetes check.

Balladenny · 12/08/2019 20:08

And, btw, doctors don’t take blood samples. That would be a complete waste of their time and training. It is done by nurses and health care assistants.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 12/08/2019 20:09

Completely unreasonable to ask a GP to come out for this. Once he's been told he isn't diabetic he'll just find another condition to fixate on.

What support is he getting for his mental health?

RedCowboyBoots · 12/08/2019 20:11

Could you pay for a private practice nurse/doctor to do the test?

Passthecherrycoke · 12/08/2019 20:15

I would request a nurse visit as suggested above - they can only say no. I assume your GP knows your son is acrophobic? Did they diagnose him? If so they should be able to arrange something.
I’m also curious to know what happens with school?

FrogFairy · 12/08/2019 20:20

If you cannot get a home visit you can buy an hba1c test online that just uses a finger prick drop of blood.

Though as others say he will just move on to the next ailment so it would be helpful if your GP could engage with and support him.

SuzieQ10 · 12/08/2019 20:23

What support is he receiving?
To have not been out of the house in over a quarter of his life. What's being done to help him?

HelpIcantfindaname · 12/08/2019 20:24

I think, even if a nurse came to do a blood test, your son would then find something else to focus his anxieties on.
What has happened about his schooling?
My son was diagnosed with school phobia, then social phobia (actually got diagnosed with ASD last year, aged 29). Despite me trying all sorts to get him help (gp, psychiatrist, psychologist etc) I still got EWOs knocking on my door because he hadnt been to school for 2 years!
What support is your son getting for his anxieties? If I were you I'd be pushing for as much as possible now, as once he turns 18 it's a lot harder to get support.

AnnaMagnani · 12/08/2019 20:24

Oh dear, what he really needs is psychiatric support.

Some of your well-meaning actions as a family he is only using to feed his anxiety - using the treadmill non-stop, repeatedly checking his blood sugar when he doesn't have diabetes and deciding he has the non existent condition of pre-pre-diabetes.

So you are trying to help calm him down and alleviate his worries but these actions just convince him he has something to be worried about and make things worse.

He (and you) need intervention on how to manage his anxiety so it isn't dominating everyone's lives.

What psych involvement has he had?

AtiaoftheJulii · 12/08/2019 20:28

As above, GPs don't tend to take bloods anyway! If he's under the care of a mental health team, they could refer him to a community paediatric nurse to visit to take bloods. Otherwise I would ask the GP for a community paediatric nurse referral.

But in the long run, I hope he gets some help.

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