to think tandem breastfeeding is unfair?

[browniebuxton]

Now I'm not talking about twins or multiple babies - but to tandem feed a baby and a 3yo?

Recently I was witness to a friend of a friend breastfeeding her baby when her 3yo had a tantrum and pushed the baby out of the way so that they could feed instead. The mum let this happen! She didn't say a thing to the 3yo. If I was in the same position I would tell my toddler no and to wait their turn. Just seems so unfair to the baby to me.

Does anyone remember the thread a couple of years ago when someone was getting married snd her SIL was planning to tandem feed her 2 children specifically during the wedding ceremony, in protest to the OP providing a feeding area? I always wondered what the outcome was

I can remember being 2 - I wouldn’t be comfortable remembering breastfeeding.
I think it’s a wonderful and beautiful experience for the mom, it was for me, but it’s my special memory, not the other way around.

I just asked all three of mine - none of them remember breastfeeding at all and the oldest was three when he stopped.
Despite bf for nearly 9 years in total, I didn't find it a wonderful and beautiful experience, each to their own - I'm sure some do, I just found it easier and practical in the long run.
The idea that it should solely be a special memory for the mother is a little too similar to the idea that any mum who does extended breastfeeding is doing it for her own benefit rather than her child's. This is usually not the case - certainly for me it was knackering and I was happy to finally get my body back each time - but I was happy to be led by what my children needed as far as I was physically able to.

I can remember being 2

That is incredible rare. Lucky you.

The vast majority of the population don't remember anything before the age of 3 or 4 and distinct early memories are usually something unusual or eventful, very positive or very negative - like birth of a sibling, death of a dog - and not run of the mill daily activities like feeding.

I read studies about children who remember being breastfed (usually 3/4 year olds I think), they each described breastfeeding as "like a cuddle". Hardly the stuff of nightmares!

mine are clearly amnesiac/traumatised who have blotted it out their memories forever, poor mites, or they are channelling Dory, the ungrateful buggers

I am due my second in two weeks and my first is still breastfeeding. OP, you make me want to bottle feed my second so that someone else can do it

Tandem feeding rules usually say baby first then toddler “’it’s the roolz” but like everything in parenting flexibility is probably a good thing, except when baby is a newborn.

DS remembers. He has a weirdly good memory. He was probably near 3 the last time he was at a boob. He seems to have stopped the post trauma twitches recently.

I've just asked my 14yo, who was bf until he was four and a half (the older one in the tandem), if he can remember it. 'Yeah, think so... I think it [the milk] was warm and sweet, sort of.' I told him there was a discussion here about whether it traumatises children who can remember. He pulled a face and said 'why should it be traumatising?' Quite.

He and his brother (who fed to age 3) have also recently seen their much younger sister bf until 3 and a half. I'm very glad indeed it's so very ordinary to them.

DS1 was breastfed until he was four, he is ten now and doesn't remember. He asked me because I had DS2 about a year ago.

This didn't actually happen, did it?