White wedding dress over 40?

[shithappens123]

My lovely sister (43) has just got a marriage proposal (she is divorced her ex was horrid) anyway she has already started thinking about her wedding dress. She excitedly told her mil who immediately told her that she can’t wear white. Am I unreasonable to say to my sis that her mil can sod off and that she can wear what she wants?

Of course she can!

She very much can

I'd be concerned more about the sort of MIL I was about to get. A bad one can sour a marriage and really blight your life.

Is the MIL otherwise normal?

She can wear what she wants. It’s her wedding and MIL needs to butt out. She sounds rude and opinionated, especially as lm assuming her opinion wasn’t asked anyway

And yes, of course white is fine.

What's she supposed to wear, whorish scarlet?

I think the mil is a bit over protective of her son but seems ok generally. The only thing I have found weird is that she has a large picture on her living room wall of her second wedding and she’s wearing white!!

The only thing I have found weird is that she has a large picture on her living room wall of her second wedding and she’s wearing white!!

You couldn’t write it 😂

I hope your sister has an amazing wedding!

I kid you not lol 😂

I was 39 and wore white, my sister was 45 and wore white. Who cares what the mil thinks.

Your 2nd post. 🤔

MIL. 🚩🚩🚩

I would strongly advise your sister think carefully on this - and not the dress, either.

One of the best things about turning 40 for me was giving even fewer fucks about what other people think. Your sister should wear exactly what she wants to her wedding, be that a classic white wedding gown or a black lace minidress with stripper heels. I hope she has a wonderful day and a very happy marriage.

Thanks all x

Her partner is nice and I think he can handle his mother I’ve never seen my amazing sis so happy

Oh, I wonder if MIL regrets wearing white for her second wedding or if someone told her afterwards that she shouldn't have done?

@PicsInRed love it 😂

Liking the do as l say, not as l do angle by MIL

Of course she can, how ridiculous

I wouldn't worry about her but would be wary of how future DH reacted to such silly comments.

My sis never got to wear a bridal dress first time round as her ex told her it was a waste of money 🤔 so she’s wants to be a princess for the day and I’m going to buy her a fabulous tiara for her dress!

It's not her age that's an issue.

It is that white is the colour of virginity. Now, we all know that that's a polite fiction for first marriages.

But it's not really appropriate for second or subsequent (unless first marriage was annulled)

Despite all that, it remains her wedding, and it is not up to future MIL in the slightesr

If she wants to skirt round the second marriage/colour issues, and still look fabulous, wear gold!

That’s a very old fashioned view. She can wear whatever she likes

Not wearing white over a certain age, or for a second wedding, is one of those old fashioned rules that no one takes any notice of nowadays.
Yes your sister can go the whole hog if she wants to - white princess dress, tiara, veil, bouquet, it's entirely up to her.

She should wear whatever she wants. You may find the mil’s dress is “ivory” rather than “white”. She sounds old, as though she’s repeating stuff said to her. Ignore. However I would try white, off white, ivory, even peach, pink dresses to see which flattered my skin tone the best and then choose the colour that suited me. White or not it doesn’t matter three days.

For the young who don’t know, It is purity a white dress is supposed to represent, the chaste virgin bride, hence a divorcee wouldn’t be expected to be pure and wear a white dress as her previous marriage would have been consummated.
You wouldn’t see the groom revealing whether he was a virgin or not by his clothing though, ha ha, they never wore white!
Old fashioned. However if someone likes tradition its fine to keep to the dress code! The bride can do as she prefers nowadays.

If it is about virginity then how many first time brides that wear white are actually virgins?

Do people really care about 2nd marriage white dresses?

No her mil dress is definitely white not ivory I’ve seen the pic when we went to bbq

shithappens123 I don’t think most people care nowadays no. You might find the occasional older person or staunch traditionalist but on a whole I don’t think people follow it like they used to.

Weddings have changed significantly in the last few decades - most people don’t marry their first boyfriend/girlfriend, people get married older, most are not virgins before marriage, they often live together first and share finances (and thank god, because it’s a risk if you don’t), people have multiple marriages etc - so dress colour has fallen by the wayside really.

She can wear whatever the hell she likes! I’d only warn off white as it’s not actually particularly flattering on most skin tones.
I wore a blush coloured dress when I got married.