White wedding dress over 40?

[shithappens123]

My lovely sister (43) has just got a marriage proposal (she is divorced her ex was horrid) anyway she has already started thinking about her wedding dress. She excitedly told her mil who immediately told her that she can’t wear white. Am I unreasonable to say to my sis that her mil can sod off and that she can wear what she wants?

It is that white is the colour of virginity.

Er no, it was a highly popular fashion trend and all the virginity bullshit was added later as patriarchal embellishments.

White used to be a funeral colour (not black) and people simply married in whatever colour their best dress was.

Clearly she should wear what she likes best. The MIL sounds odd unfortunately.

Culturally, a white wedding gown is a relatively recent thing in Western society. It didn't really become a 'thing' until Queen Victoria married Albert in the 1840s . Even then, white wasn't truly 'white' as we know it, it was more of a pale cream.

'Tis all bollocks. White meringues all the way if it makes her happy.

White dresses became fashionable after Queen Victoria wore one, but until fairly recent history (60s era) came and went depending on the economy at the time. My grandmother got married in the early 50s and she wore her best suit because it was post war UK and money was tight.

I wore white at 27. We'd been together 9 years and I definitely wasn't a virgin. It was the dress I fell in love with. The MIL can have an opinion. Your sister is a big girl and can say 'okay then' and ignore her.

People who spout the horrible nonsense about white and virginity for brides always make me think of the horrible Cambodian "proverb":

“Men are gold, women are white linen.”

Ie men can never be tarnished by anything but women can be ruined and stained forever by the smallest thing.

Because nobody ever suggests the man should be wearing a particular colour clothing to announce to the world whether or not he has ever had sex and thereby reduced his value. Which is what is being said about the woman, whether people have the courage to own it or not.

It's just misogyny. And that is not a tradition to be preserved.

what style dress is she thinking of? give details & forget daft mil :) is she going for veil?

She said she likes the Charlotte from satc the one she wore when she married Harry. It’s gorgeous

I agree about the blatant sexism, I’m hoping mil opinion isn’t popular

White is the colour of first marriages (whether or not actual virginity is present). Doesn't matter if it was coined in Victorian times or the year dot - it's meant that for 150+ years

It's a bit naff for second , 3rd, 4th umpteenth)

Live the idea of wearing good (DLS strikes again!)

One of my friends got married last year when she was 40. She wore fairly trad dress but in very pale grey but had some amazing brightly coloured shoes it looked fab.

My friend was over 50 when she got married a few years ago.
She wore white and looked absolutely stunning.

Everyone thinks a white wedding dress is a symbol of virginity. It's not; it's a symbol of joy, so yes of course she can wear it. It was Queen Victoria who started the white wedding dress thing, before that, the bride simply wore her best/nicest drezz.

dress obviously!

What's the betting the MIL is planning to rock up to her son's wedding in a white drsss?

To be honest I would find it a bit strange/odd to wear a white wedding dress for a 2nd marriage. She has already done the whole white wedding and till death us do part. I understand people separate and divorce. Absolutely fine but to copy the first wedding with another white wedding dress and similar vows!!! Why not make it unique and wear a different colour. Also white is a hard colour to wear

Not many people actually wear pure white-it is hugely unflattering to most, ivory or off white is common if you want to be pedantic with this MIL.

However your sister should wear whatever she bloody well likes! One of my lovely friends wore a beautiful traditional ivory wedding dress at 58 for her 3rd wedding-and looked amazing! (she married her first very young and left when he was abusive, her second husband died tragically after only a short time together-she deserved her happy ever after!)

newtothis2017 except OP has said that she never got to wear a wedding dress first time...

Like pp said, white used to to be the symbol for mourning and funerals (hence white lillies often being associated with funerals). Mary Queen of Scots wore red for her first wedding in France, because red was the colour symbolising virginity and purity then. Both sets of symbolism are in the past, as is white wedding = virginity.

MN is a weird place about weddings at the best of times. Your sister's happiness is more important than a few stick in the mud's comments! Buying her a tiara sounds like a lovely gesture!