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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was wrong?

115 replies

StressedD · 11/08/2019 20:15

My friend was walking back from the library at uni last night (she'd gone in to finish some resit assignments and needed to use text books that were reference only). Around 11PM, she posted on fb that, while walking home, her left leg had started dragging and so she sat on a wall outside a shop for a few minutes, only she had been there 30 minutes and couldn't stand. When she still couldn't stand after an hour, she looked on 111 and followed the advice to call 999. We chatted on messenger while she waited for the ambulance to arrive. When it still hadn't turned up at 1.30 am, she called again and was assured the ambulance was on it's way. By this point I was getting worried about her, but I don't live anywhere near her, so couldn't do much to help. Friend told me that, there wasn't much I could do, the ambulance probably wouldn't be much longer, I should go to bed, and she'd let me know how things panned out. It turned out that she was found still sitting on the wall by university security at 2.45am and, when their control room couldn't get through to the ambulance service to get an estimate of how long it would be, they physically lifted her to her feet, put her in their van and rushed her to A&E (5 minutes from the shop she had been sat outside). Thankfully, all her tests showed that she hadn't had a stroke and she was sent home at around 7.30am. My friend keeps saying she was wrong to phone for an ambulance, and feels like a fraud.
I know Saturday nights are busy, but leaving someone who couldn't stand sat on a wall in the cold and rain for over 3 hours isn't right?

OP posts:
marcopront · 12/08/2019 04:42

The area she was sat in, wasn't covered by university security, they just saw her as they were passing from one campus to the next and stopped to ask if she was OK.

I don't understand this.
What did she say to them?
If she said she was OK then why?
If she said she wasn't OK what did they do?

QualCheckBot · 12/08/2019 12:28

@QualCheckBot If my friend had posted this would you question her and call her a liar? She could not stand without being physically lifted to her feet, so how was she supposed to walk? Once she sat down, it wasn't one leg, if you actually read my posts, it was both legs. She couldn't even straighten her right leg to stand on that one. She lost power in both legs. She's still unable to explain exactly how it felt because she's never had anything like it happen to her before. There was no injury to her leg to cause the issue, it started as she was walking along. She didn't trip or fall before it started. She is still unable to walk without dragging her left leg, but you've decided she's a liar. Firstly because you don't understand how university libraries operate, and secondly, once it had been explained to you how university libraries work, you've decided that, it can't be true because you can't make sense of it.

Wow, err OK. Firstly, I went to university abroad, outside the UK but in Europe, and the university library was always closed by 10pm at weekends, except in exam periods.

Secondly, I haven't decided anyone is a liar. I'm just a bit surprised that she was unable to get some form of transport to hospital and sat outside for 4 hours in the middle of the night instead of doing so. She clearly also has no friends or relatives nearby with a car (I'm sure this has been explained in great detail already...), sat outside the usual university security area, and so on. It couldn't be a more complex or difficult set of circumstances in an otherwise normal setting.

I was actually fairly sympathetic in my post but clearly I've hit a nerve...

My former flatmate used to do stuff like this. She would have some strange kind of injury, get stranded somewhere there were taxis but phone me or the rest of the flat to come and collect her. She would go to hospital, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with her. I have friends who are doctors who have so much time wasted with this sort of thing. It seems particularly to happen to stressed students doing exams and especially resits, who are likely to fail them and might need a doctor's note.

The thing is, when people make up stories, they tend to give far too much information, and then give even more strangely detailed information, followed by getting angry/defensive/aggressive when challenged.

So, yes, be as aggressive as you like, but there is something about this that is off. You are not telling me that your friend phoned 4 different taxi companies and kept saying the same thing about not being able to stand which then resulted in them telling her they couldn't pick her up...

No doubt, your next post will contain some really serious diagnosis of a serious problem, so I do wish your friend the best of luck in overcoming this.

We all know that the NHS isn't great sometimes and ambulance services were over-stretched, but this was a Saturday night and A&E will have inundated with people with serious injuries, many of them unable to walk due to drink.

I think I missed the bit where it must have been explained that no-one came out to keep her company resulting from the posting she did on FB for the 4 hours that she was sitting on the wall at the university campus.

YesQueen · 12/08/2019 12:54

@TheSpamCounter I posted upthread but no, not a red priority call as such. Limb threatening possibly, but not life threatening

StressedD · 12/08/2019 13:27

@QualCheckBot by questioning in the way you have ("what university library is open late on a Saturday?" "This doesn't make sense to me.") you are saying my friend is a liar.
The taxi companies did not say they wouldn't pick her up. They hung up on her.
I phoned my friend again this morning to see how she is. She's still tired and wanting to sleep, but has arranged to have her bloods done again because she wants to make sure that there wasn't an error in the lab and she was given the wrong results. To be clear, that's only because she knows from previous experience that her hb level shouldn't have been normal given her last result only a month ago and the fact she's been taking her iron tablets on and off. The result puzzled her and she just wants to be certain that it's right.
I'm going to stay with her for a few days later so I can help out.

OP posts:
RockinHippy · 12/08/2019 14:14

Stressed I'd also suggest making sure that your friend gets her B12 checked & read up on deficiency as it isn't straight forward & false negative results are not uncommon. Low iron can be a sign of & mask B12 deficiency. Pregnancy is a time deficiency symptoms can kick in as the baby takes all your B12. Low B12 will affect baby too.

I had something similar to this loosing power in the legs thing happen to me too. No explanation given at the time it happened, but both DD & I were later diagnosed with Pernicious Anaemia & this can be a symptom of that as it affects the spine. The exhaustion etc are classic symptoms.

The link below explains it all ...

www.b12deficiency.info/b12-and-pregnancy/

Cegbee · 12/08/2019 15:29

She should have been a priority as she had signs of a stroke, treatment of which is time critical whether due to a clot or a bleed. Must have been awful for her and makes me so sad and angry that this is the state of our ambulance service!

Inferiorbeing · 12/08/2019 15:57

It all goes on priorities, a damaged leg unfortunately wont be made a high priority and the call handler probably didn't register it as a FAST positive factor unless it was clearly described. I'm sorry she had to wait but it is what it is. My OH is a paramedic and went to someone who waited 20 hours for an ambulance.. because they had a nose bleed?

bouncingraindrops · 12/08/2019 16:17

The thing here is the ambulance will prioritise on medical need, there seems to be an element of 'lone female, later at night' about your post. Good to hear your friend is okay

StressedD · 12/08/2019 18:32

Arrived at my friend's an hour ago. Her left leg is still dragging when she walks and she's struggling to stand even with the walking stick she was given. She says it's difficult to describe what's going on with the leg but it's easy to tell something happened just looking at her walking.

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 12/08/2019 18:35

She needs medical attention ASAP. I cannot believe A&E discharged her without finding a cause for such an alarming symptom. Can she call her GP for an urgent appointment or go to another A&E?

I had two A&E departments turn me away and the secretary of my orthopedic surgeon was trying to give me an appointment in ten days when I had an urgent condition (cauda equina). I should have been operated on within two hours of onset of symptoms but was delayed for five days which has left me with on going problems. Sometimes doctors get it very wrong and you have to insist on help.

ShhhBeQuiet · 12/08/2019 19:06

FYI for the earlier poster - there are plenty of Uni libraries that have extended opening hours. I know some are open 24 hours over exam periods.

StressedD · 13/08/2019 11:15

Friend is still struggling to stand this morning. Phoned her GP and has been told to go back to A&E as they're worried about a progressive stroke.

OP posts:
ShhhBeQuiet · 13/08/2019 14:32

That sounds worrying. Hope she is ok.

WantLifeToBeBetter · 13/08/2019 14:39

Very scary - best wishes to your friend.

StressedD · 14/08/2019 11:47

Friend was sent home from A&E again. They don't think it's a stroke or herniated disc that's behind the issue. They're writing to her GP to get them to refer her to a neurologist and for scans just in case. For now, they've put it down to an existing health condition. She's at her GP tomorrow and will see what they say.

OP posts:
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