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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was wrong?

115 replies

StressedD · 11/08/2019 20:15

My friend was walking back from the library at uni last night (she'd gone in to finish some resit assignments and needed to use text books that were reference only). Around 11PM, she posted on fb that, while walking home, her left leg had started dragging and so she sat on a wall outside a shop for a few minutes, only she had been there 30 minutes and couldn't stand. When she still couldn't stand after an hour, she looked on 111 and followed the advice to call 999. We chatted on messenger while she waited for the ambulance to arrive. When it still hadn't turned up at 1.30 am, she called again and was assured the ambulance was on it's way. By this point I was getting worried about her, but I don't live anywhere near her, so couldn't do much to help. Friend told me that, there wasn't much I could do, the ambulance probably wouldn't be much longer, I should go to bed, and she'd let me know how things panned out. It turned out that she was found still sitting on the wall by university security at 2.45am and, when their control room couldn't get through to the ambulance service to get an estimate of how long it would be, they physically lifted her to her feet, put her in their van and rushed her to A&E (5 minutes from the shop she had been sat outside). Thankfully, all her tests showed that she hadn't had a stroke and she was sent home at around 7.30am. My friend keeps saying she was wrong to phone for an ambulance, and feels like a fraud.
I know Saturday nights are busy, but leaving someone who couldn't stand sat on a wall in the cold and rain for over 3 hours isn't right?

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 11/08/2019 21:18

I would have tried, that’s the difference. The ambulance service is stretched beyond belief and if she was so incapable of weight bearing that she had to be carried in by two people, then how was she released just a few short hours later?

WantLifeToBeBetter · 11/08/2019 21:21

I've also had a similar experience to NameChange84 when my mum was left waiting hours and hours after she'd had a stroke before anyone saw her, let alone diagnosed her. The NHS is fucked, and getting more fucking by the day.

TriciaH87 · 11/08/2019 21:21

Asking if she could walk when discharged is like asking someone who had a heart attack if they were alive when the hospital let them go home....... Completely irrelevant to the situation when the ambulance was called. If she had been having a stroke they have a very small window to give the drugs to prevent irreversible damage and lower the risk of a further stroke occurring. In this case she would not of got that help and she was very vulnerable in that she could have been attacked whilst waiting and if so she was unable to get away.

caballerino · 11/08/2019 21:23

So perhaps we should direct our ire at the people who made the decisions to deliberately cause this state of affairs, ie the government? Instead of arguing about whether to blame the ambulance service or the people who need the ambulance service or apathetically shrugging our shoulders about cuts.

It doesn't have to be like this and shouldn't be like this.

To pick up on one example - hypothermia can be fatal. Leaving an injured person lying on the floor or the ground in the rain for hours could cost their life. We are not talking about inconvenience.

WantLifeToBeBetter · 11/08/2019 21:24

then how was she released just a few short hours later?

Does it really matter? Presumably she didn't know (and nor did anyone else) that she would recover so quickly. I'd be pretty freaked out if my leg just stopped working Hmm

QualCheckBot · 11/08/2019 21:24

Which university library is open until late on a Saturday night in August? Even for resits?

Is your friend a bit of a fantasist/attention seeker?

She sat on a wall for nearly 4 hours and was discharged 4 hours later from hospital with nothing wrong with her? No diagnosis of nerve damage or any explanation for this sudden paralysis whatsoever? I would think that being sat on a wall for nearly 4 hours in the cold and rain would be the thing that caused the harm!

Sorry, but I'm calling bullshit on your friend's story.

WantLifeToBeBetter · 11/08/2019 21:25

caballerino, yes, definitely.

BettysLeftTentacle · 11/08/2019 21:26

It’s not the NHS that’s fucked. It’s much, much worse than that.

KitKat1985 · 11/08/2019 21:28

You say though that she was dragging her left leg, so presumably her right leg was okay? Also she was weight bearing when she was walking home, and hadn't had an accident or similar. I find it hard to believe she couldn't had made it a few yards to a taxi if she had called one, even if she had to limp / hop a bit. And it's pretty unlikely she would have had a stroke if she had been chatting to you on Facebook messenger whilst waiting from my experiences of people who have had strokes.

Justaboy · 11/08/2019 21:32

I think what happened to her, sudden loss of leg usage, did warrent medical attention and an ambulance as she could not move.

I know that medical services are stretched but thats hardely something that can be ignored is it?.

Just as well the porters found her, could have had a different outcome otherwise:(

Brigante9 · 11/08/2019 21:32

Half my calf hanging off, foot long open wound pissing blood and bits falling off as I ran (no pain, all nerves sheared through) and the yard owner shouting down the phone, ambo took 45 minutes to arrive.

Luckily there was a very competent first aider who bandaged me up and stopped the bleeding. Ambulance crew unwrapped the bandages, took a big breath and blue lighted me away. I'm extremely fortunate my femoral wasn't impacted, although I'd have bled out before anyone could phone anyway had that happened.

Hope your friend gets some help. If her leg is paralyzed (?) even temporarily, has she investigated Lyme's disease?

NameChange84 · 11/08/2019 21:32

Just checked and my local university library was open until 11pm last night. It’s rural and campus is deserted at the moment.

The library at the university I went to was open 24/7 even in the holidays. Only closed Christmas Day and New Year’s Day.

DidntAskToBe · 11/08/2019 21:34

I think it was quite odd of your friend to post this on FB, especially as she seems to not know anyone locally who could have helped her.

I know in that situation (too far away to be of practical help) my FB friends and family would be really worried about me.

Was there really no one local who could help. There are usually students who stay around in the summer.

DidntAskToBe · 11/08/2019 21:35

My son's uni library is open till 9pm on Sunday at the moment. Remember there are post grads working year round.

AlexaAmbidextra · 11/08/2019 21:36

My mother had a brain haemorrhage. We waited four hours for an ambulance. They then proceeded to drop her down the stairs as they carried her out to the ambulance.

BettysLeftTentacle · 11/08/2019 21:42

It wouldn’t have been being ignored @Justaboy, it’s just that she was alive and in no immediate danger. If an ambulance was sent to her straight away, someone will have died because the ambulance wasn’t going to them instead. That’s the cold hard truth. That’s the decision ambulance control are making every few minutes.

pamelat · 11/08/2019 21:43

Oh bless her, how scary

Not wrong to call for the ambulance but they are obviously busy and have to prioritise.

I would never blame their service we find that they are incredible and do what they can do with limited resource.

Original poster
StressedD · 11/08/2019 21:46

Spoken to friend. She's still tired and just wants to sleep. She says that, while messaging me, she kept trying to stand and that, if she had been able to, she would have gone home and all she wanted to do was get home. She did phone for a taxi and tried a few different companies but, each time she mentioned that she couldn't stand they hung up on her.
The ambulance service called her as she arrived at A&E and apologized that she had been waiting so long and said they were looking into it as she shouldn't have been left waiting as long as she was.
The doctors didn't tell her all the tests that had been done, but she isn't sure that the results were correct or hers as, she's chronically anaemic and yet her hb level was normal. She says she will ask for them to be repeated when she speaks with her GP surgery tomorrow just to make sure, as she's forgotten to take her iron tablets for the last month on and off, so her hb shouldn't be normal. She was discharged as, aside from scans, there wasn't much to be gained from keeping her in. They have told her to go back to A&E if it happens again and she'll be admitted, but the referral to see a neurologist won't be much quicker done via the hospital right now.
She left with a walking stick to help balance her and got a taxi home.
@QualCheckBot Seeing as the main library at her university is open 24 hours a day, and only changes opening hours over Christmas and Easter, it's unlikely that she's lying. If anything, my friend is very good at playing down her health problems and even once continued working when she'd fractured a wrist because she thought it was just a sprain.
I asked how her walking is now and she said she's still dragging her left leg while walking, which is worrying.

OP posts:
HeyMonkey · 11/08/2019 21:50

Shame for her, but if she was breathing and not bleeding to death then she will not have been a priority for a city A&E on a Saturday night.

That's a sad fact. There will have been far more critical cases. The ambulance service aren't just sat with their feet up having tea and biscuits.

MKUltrachic · 11/08/2019 21:53

Happened to me. Turns out I have MS. It took ages to be diagnosed and even longer to be treated so I’m permanently disabled.

Wish I’d gone private, not accepted the ‘watchful waiting’.

Oakmaiden · 11/08/2019 22:05

Which university library is open until late on a Saturday night in August?

I'm a postgrad. The library on our campus is open 24/7. Even in the holidays.

Justme1234567 · 11/08/2019 22:12

Should the ambulance have gone and got your friend because she’s sitting in the dark or got someone who is actually at risk of dying? It shows why it took so long to come because it’s not as priority, she should have got a cab or an Uber, you don’t need to be able to walk for that just to use your phone and she was on Facebook so...

tmh88 · 11/08/2019 22:12

It’s bad what’s happening with the NHS. My friends mother was in a care home and they phoned for an ambulance for her at 9pm by the time they arrived at 2am she had passed away. However she was an elderly lady in her 90s and I can’t help but think calls for children and younger adults should be prioritised, as there is just no room to stretch the ambulance service any further than what it already is.

YesQueen · 11/08/2019 22:17

What @BettysLeftTentacle said

The thing is, there aren't always ambulances. Let's say you've got 4 ambulances
You have one choking, one cardiac arrest, one heart attack, one suicide. Then a call comes in for an asthma attack and they've stopped breathing. Where do you get the ambulance from? There's only 4...
they're not infinite resources so if there isn't one, there isn't one
It can be the case where they are diverted from call after call because higher priority calls keep coming in

YesQueen · 11/08/2019 22:20

@tmh88 even when v v busy, say NYE when there is 50 calls waiting to be answered. If there is a baby not breathing, the operator will try to ring the control room directly and they will put them through rather than queue
Crews will do anything to get to a child cardiac arrest, they are the highest priority really