To start disliking me dog

[catspyjamas27]

I feel terrible writing this. 2 years ago we as a family decided to get a puppy. We ended up with an American staff - big mean looking thing but soft as muck. He is so lovely natured, friendly and playful with the kids. Very loving and never once been aggressive....but....

He is out of control in other ways! He has chewed, mauled and destroyed so many items in our house and garden. I find him impossible to manage on the lead because he is now so strong and pulls like crazy. We did some training classes when he was a pup but then the centre closed and we just never found another. At this stage I would be concerned about taking him to a place where other dogs are anyway because he's so excitable and would go crazy and I would struggle to control him on the lead. Perhaps one on one sessions would be a better option but there aren't really any in our area that I can find.

My dp and I row about it a lot. Dp can control him better than me and doesn't see any issues. He just thinks that replacing the items he ruins is a solution to the problem and fails to see that this isn't really the long term answer.

We all love the dog to bits and in his quiet moments I feel terrible about being so exasperated by him. But I just wish we had done a bit more research into the breed - although having said that no two dogs are ever the same and we couldn't predict just how boisterous and tough to train he would be. It's upsetting me that me and dp are rowing over it too.

Aibu to feel this way? Please no suggestions to rehome (the dog or the dp!!!) i could never do that. But suggestions would be good...

How long is he left alone OP? He is getting enough attention/walks/stimulation before he’s left?

Could you get a one to one trainer to help with the areas you’re struggling with?

We do both work but I'm only part time. He gets two (sometimes three) walks a day. Kids are constantly running about with him in the garden. He does have periods of time alone but by no means left alone all day, usually no more than a few hours at a time.

I think I do need to look into a personal trainer but need to convince dp as he just doesn't seem to see the same issues as I do and will be reluctant to pay a trainer!

You need some support with this op although it's very difficult if your dp is not on board because both of you need to be committed to turning things around. Bluntly, if there aren't training courses or dog trainers in your area, then you need to look outside it.

Have you looked on Facebook, on pet shop notice boards, on Pawshake (some sitters train as well) local ads, ring up local rescue centres and ask who they use, ask at the vets? Even ask other owners when walking in the park? Or start your own group and club together with other dog walkers and employ a trainer together to keep costs down and meet in your local park?

Good luck and don't give up!

You need to train him. If you can't afford a trainer watch videos on YouTube to start with, but both of you need to commit to the training.

It takes time too. I walked a dog that pulled and every time they did I would stop walking. I then rewarded good behaviour and a loose lead. It took a month for the dog to realise pulling meant not walking and walking nicely meant a reward, but he understood eventually. Other breeds may have got it quicker.

Do you use a harness when you’re walking him, if so what kind? I would urge your DP to get a trainer/behaviourist asap because in the long run you’re going to spend more money replacing items than it would cost to get hire one.

If it's was me, I would treat like a puppy so careful supervision armed with a chew toy 24/7 and the second he goes to put teeth on something I would make a sharp AH noise and shove chew toy into his gob and praise. Every time.

I wouldn't leave him alone with free reign in the house at this stage if he was mine either, he'd be crated whenever I left the house so he can't chew stuff.

I can't help with loose lead walking much because my dog has always pulled.

It’s not the dogs fault, there are no untrainable dogs it’s always the fault of the owner , I doubt this dog gets anywhere near the amount of exercise he needs .

Have you joined 'Dog Training Advice and Support' on Facebook? It is run by Professional Dog Trainers, this topic comes up very often. They also may be able to revommend a dog trainer in your area.

doubt this dog gets anywhere near the amount of exercise he needs

If he is getting 2 or 3 walks a day he probably is, he may even be getting too much and getting a bit overstimulated.

'American staff' sounds like a big mastiff type dog I am assuming, big dogs shouldn't have massive amounts of exercise as it is bad for their joints.

there is a guy who has been on telly - K9 brothers - he travels all over the country for one to one - look him up and what he does - leon towers . Also I do sympathise I have a cross breed - and boy is he strong - one thing that really helped me - after spending a fortune on harnesses and dog training is the dogmatic head harness . Again check them out they have videos -. Trust me I have done the standing like a tree - walking up and down and turning every time he pulls - high value treats etc . But we are getting there . I was embarrassed to take him to class so we had some one to ones first . Best of luck .

We ended up with an American staff

So basically you bought a big, strong status-symbol dog and are now wondering why he's boisterous and out of control. However, I'm glad you seem to keen to invest in helping him become a less stressful pet.

I think you all need to face up to the fact that he needs A LOT more exercise than you're giving him and A LOT more appropriate training and A LOT more to do. Could you look into taking him to a proper dog behaviourist?

He is wrecking things in your house because he is bored to tears and has nothing else to do. How often is he left on his own, and for how long?

If you feel you can't take him anywhere where there are other dogs, how is he getting walked and socialised? When and how often does he get his off-lead exercise?

American staff' sounds like a big mastiff type dog I am assuming, big dogs shouldn't have massive amounts of exercise as it is bad for their joints.

An American staff isn't a giant breed like a mastiff at all. They need a lot of exercise.

I understand where you are coming from op because my DH is more accepting of poor dog behaviour then I am. If he really won't listen to reason then my advice would be to start without your dh's blessing and try and find the money from somewhere if you possibly can (sell old stuff or offer to do something like cooking in exchange for lessons or something similar?). It will be so worth it and once the dog shows an improvement your dh might change his mind and join in. He's being ridiculous by not supporting you in the first place though! I would point out the costs of not getting him trained too; such as replacing mauled clothes and items, potential injury if he escapes or goes for another dog, not being able to go away if you can't leave him with a sitter etc. And if he doesn't listen to any of that, costs of divorce and increased childcare (ok just kidding for the last one but you need to get tough on this!)

I write about the exercise prior to the update however it depends what the 2/3 walks are if they are 20 minutes round the block on a lead that’s not very stimulating and as the OP says she can’t take him where there are other dogs I’m assuming he’s not running around the local park . Have you tried a headcollar / canny collar for walking , I’m not really into training aids over actual training but at least it might get you some control .

Have you tried a Dogmatic for walking. They are amazing for dogs that pull.

Kongs could also be useful in your situation. Fill them and freeze them.
Kong Stuff-A-Balls are also really good, I put my dogs’ food into them and it takes them ages to get it all out.
Only works if the food is big enough to not fall straight out though! Could use chunks of chicken breast though for an idea.

Is he crate trained? If so you would be best to put him in his crate if he is left alone as I assume that is when he chews/destroys things?

I have a dog who is 6 now and will still chew things so he has to be crated when we go out. Luckily he is happy in his crate.

I agree with others that you need to find a dog trainer. Either look for classes or a trainer that will do one on one lessons. You may well have to travel to get to one but if you can drive that shouldn't be a problem. We went to weekly classes that was over an hours drive away as they were the best classes anywhere near us.

A decent dog trainer should be able to help with the pulling on lead but, in the meantime, I would look for some dog groups on facebook as it is quite a common problem and I believe there are harnesses you can get that really help with it

I will certainly look into the training videos and fb groups. I have tried to implement the stop/start walking technique when he pulls but dp doesn't do it and we both walk him so it's been totally ineffective. Plus I find it very hard to stop when he's pulling, sometimes I'm being dragged along whether I like it or not!

I do need to get dp on board hence the rows. He doesn't struggle with him physically in the same way I do so he doesn't understand. FWIW he is 6ft something and I'm 5ft 4 so I guess they figures 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sorry meantcost of separation not divorce!!

Second the Dogmatic collar. Look them OP.

Forgot to add he is crate trained and has loads of toys. It's usually ironically when we are around that he destroys stuff and I'll admit sometimes it's out of carelessness - something we have all wised up on since he chewed a mobile phone, glasses, bedding that was left out and even a £20 note!

He sounds bored and stressed. They need mental as well as physical stimulation.

2-3 walks daily sounds fine in theory, but how long/far are you going? He'll need a good two hours plus mental games and distractions at home.

You need to train him. I understand that the centre you went to closed down, but can you really be that surprised that he's chewing and destroying things when you didn't persevere with his training? If you aren't going to spend time on training the dog and ensuring he is physically and mentally exercised, then you are essentially giving him the green light to carry on wrecking the house.

If you can't do this then you need to hand him over to a rescue who will re-home him with someone who wants to take care of him properly.

What are those 2-3 walks though? Do you go somewhere he can have off lead, ball / stick time? Does he run on these walks? A good walk in a human's view will just be the easiest of strolls for most dogs.
I also second the frozen Kongs and other "work it out" toys.

He's destructive because he's bored, lonely or anxious. Happy, occupied and busy dogs don't destroy the house (assuming they're out of the puppy stage).

You say he gets 2-3 walks a day but what kind of walks are they? Does he ever get a chance to run off-lead? Chase a ball? Do some scent work? 20 minutes around the block isn't exercise - it's simply not enough. Young dogs need a good 60-90 minutes of proper exercise a day, ideally including a chance to have a good run about. A gentle stroll on the lead just won't cut it.

What training have you done with him aside from the basics? You don't need to go to puppy classes to train a dog - you can do it at home. Kikopup on YouTube is great for trick-training and it really tires them out. I did 10 minutes with my beagle last night instead of a walk because the weather was atrocious. He flopped on the sofa afterwards and fell asleep! I've taught him things like sit/down/stay/leave, and then more complicated things like roll over, spin in a circle, "dance", weave through legs, turn left/right etc. We're currently working on walking backwards and I want him to eventually be able to weave backwards through my legs. He also knows "over" and "under" (as in, to go over or under a gate or obstacle) and "up/down".

Dogs need to be busy. Leaving them in a crate with the same toys all the time will be boring - rotate the toys/chews so he gets variety. Mine has 5-6 favourites and he gets them no more than once a week each so he doesn't get bored of them. Stuff kongs and freeze them, stick kibble in treat balls or wobblers, buy a lick-mat or snuffle mat so he has to work for his meals - all those things will tire him out and keep him busy.

Good luck - you have a big strong dog who needs a lot of exercise and stimulation. Make sure he gets it.

it's usually ironically when we are around that he destroys stuff and I'll admit sometimes it's out of carelessness

Maybe it's attention seeking..?
As in he thinks it's a good way of getting your attention or a game even?

I got a lovely puppy that was supposed to be Labrador size, he is twice the size, he’s 7 stone 😮, by 6 months he was 5 stone and so excitable and strong, dragged me everywhere, I went to puppy training he knocked all the other owners over and then licked them to death, if I let him off the lead he would run off as everything was so exciting. I am only 5’4 and 9 stone. First thing I would do is get a headcollar halti so you have control, then I would get someone on one on one trainer. I did agility training with my dog and that was the game changer as he had a focus, he is still strong but he does now listen to me. I would also every time he pulls turn him in a circle, it really helped to get my dogs attention.