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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at having to get up this morning

55 replies

popsadaisy · 11/08/2019 06:56

I kind of already know I ABU but I need some of you guys to snap me out of my mood! Basically I've had to get up with my 16 month old this morning (6am) usually my OH gets up with her but he was too tired this morning...
A bit of background, I wake up with her every weekday and he always does the weekend. He hasn't done the two last Sunday's because he went out last Saturday night and had a lie in on the Sunday and this Sunday he said he was too tired to get up. It's really wound me up but I know a lot of partners take it in turns on a Saturday and Sunday so I'm just being a brat really. I've got used to having a lie in until around 8 every weekend so now I'm seeing my arse. First world problems! Sat hear watching cbeebies whilst my LG is having her porridge and sulking.... want to snap out of it before my OH wakes up!

OP posts:
Heartburn888 · 11/08/2019 06:59

No it’s unfair he’s too lazy to get up and he knows you will do it rather than leave your girl in her room on her own awake.

Can you say he can do the next 2 week days to make up for the 2 Sunday’s? Or say he can watch her while you go back to bed for an hour? I’d be pissed off about it too.
I was up at 4am this morning then 4.20 then 4.40 with my partners son as he had fallen out of bed and now he’s just woken up and dp is showing no signs of waking up. Swift elbow to back should do the trick I think 😂😂

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 11/08/2019 07:02

If he always does the weekends it means that he never gets a lie in, whilst you always get two lie ins a week?

Sorry but yabu.

Bigbopboo · 11/08/2019 07:04

What time does he get up when goes to work during the week?

Topttumps · 11/08/2019 07:07

Depends on who gets up first during the week really and how other jobs/chores are split.

Bobbiepin · 11/08/2019 07:09

When I'm off work I end up doing all the wake ups but when DH gets up (I'll wake him up around 8/9) I go back to bed for a couple of hours and catch up on sleep. I'm absolutely exhausted but I know he is too so we have to share the load. Maybe share some more week day wake ups, especially if he has to get up for work anyway and then have one day each on the weekend.

Chocolatemouse84 · 11/08/2019 07:13

I think maybe you need a new system, this one doesn't sound like it's working.

Could one of you lie in Saturday and one Sunday so you both get a weekend lie in?

I can see why you are annoyed, I wouldn't like to think I'm getting a lie in and then not at the last minute, so I think a rule where unless ill, the "getter uper" has to get up arranged in advance. We both work shifts so it changes on a week to week basis, but we do pre arrange a lie in day each every week.

Original poster
popsadaisy · 11/08/2019 07:19

He usually gets up for work at 7 and my LG is pretty consistent at waking at 6 so that's my wake up all week. I don't think it helps that I wake so much during the night so last night my LG cried out twice (went straight back to sleep both times) but then I'm lying there awake for 10/15 mins meanwhile he snores through the whole thing and I'm up a lot going for a wee as well. It's tit for tat really and I hate it feeling like a competition on who's slept more or who's worked harder but unfortunately it does....
I literally do all of the housework and get our LG sorted in the morning and off to nursery but he does cook the tea for me and him every night and does the washing up so I think that does even it out. He is very very messy though which does drive me insane.

OP posts:
Original poster
popsadaisy · 11/08/2019 07:21

@Chocolatemouse84 I agree. I think that's honestly why I was so annoyed because we had spoken about him getting up with her last night so it was in my head just to be snatched away from me last minute. If we had prearranged I'm sure I would be fine this morning.

OP posts:
Celebelly · 11/08/2019 07:26

That's annoying. My DP takes DD every morning during week for two hours before work and then at weekends for however long I want to sleep for! Yesterday he had her from 7am-11 Blush But she's six months so is still having some night waking, although generally only one now, and DP also doesn't do lie-ins so he gets up early anyway whereas I love my sleep.

I do find the odd day where he has to be in work early difficult if he's forgotten to tell me as it's like I'm mentally unprepared for not getting a nap, so I understand your annoyance!

rainbowstardrops · 11/08/2019 07:26

You need to sit him down and talk about it. He's being unfair because he told you yesterday that it was 'your turn'. Did he have a lie-in yesterday too?
I also think it's unfair that you get up at 6am weekdays while he stays in bed until 7am every day!
Have a conversation and sort it out. Oh and I wouldn't be trying to calm down before he gets up, I'd bloody tell him how fed up I was!

Celebelly · 11/08/2019 07:28

Also 'too tired to get up' isn't really a choice you have when you have kids. What if you are 'too tired to get up' too?!

underneaththeash · 11/08/2019 07:33

I think you should take it in turns at the weekend. 7am during the week is hardly a lie in.

One of you gets up Saturday and the other Sunday.

Beautiful3 · 11/08/2019 07:34

I think Saturday's should be his and Sundays is your day for a lie in. He has to have at least one lie in!

pictish · 11/08/2019 07:45

One gets Saturday, one gets Sunday...that’s how we used to play it and overall it worked well.

adaline · 11/08/2019 07:47

I think you should get a lie-in on Saturday and he should get one on Sunday. It's not fair that he's expected to get up early both days at the weekend as well as get up for work all week.

BenWillbondsPants · 11/08/2019 07:47

It's tit for tat really and I hate it feeling like a competition on who's slept more or who's worked harder but unfortunately it does....

IME it's always like this when you have a wee baby. You try not to let it get like that but even if you don't say anything, you feel it. Grin

BeanBag7 · 11/08/2019 07:48

I also think you should by each have a lie in on the weekend by taking in turns. Getting up at 7am for work every day isn't exactly a relaxing lie in but then you get to sleep in until 8 on both weekend days.
Doing the weekday wake ups is pretty standard and expected for the SAHP to do so I dont think you can complain about those.

Original poster
popsadaisy · 11/08/2019 07:51

@BeanBag7 I'm not a SAHP if I was I would probably end up having a nap when she does in the day to get me through!

OP posts:
simplekindoflife · 11/08/2019 07:51

I don't think it's fair he does both days at the weekend, 7am isn't a lie in!

One of you should get Saturday and the other one Sunday as your lie in day.

BecauseItIz · 11/08/2019 07:52

We take it in turns all week but my dp is bad for saying the same "I'm too tired to get up this morning" so I do it. It is annoying because our lo is a terrible sleeper and I do all the nightly wake ups.

He can sleep til lunch time on his lie-ins where as I'm usually up around 8am on mine. Often because he gets me up or they make so much noise etc.

He does a lot to help around the house so it balances out.

YANBU to be annoyed.

simplekindoflife · 11/08/2019 07:52

If you're not a SAHP, then the weekday wake ups should be shared also?

NoSauce · 11/08/2019 07:52

I think you’ve definitely got the better deal OP. A lie in every weekend both days is better then a lie in till 7 during the week when I presume you both have to get up for work?

As suggested have a day each at weekend and share the weekdays out too.

I can see why you’re a bit fed up today though.

Whatnameisgood · 11/08/2019 07:52

Are you a SAHM or working? It does sound a bit of an unfair system - to both of you! Can he not do a couple of the mid-week mornings and get a regular weekend lie in?

Tobebythesea · 11/08/2019 07:55

We take it in turns during the week to have a mini lie in, alternate days. Same at the weekend but longer. Worth a try?

cushioncovers · 11/08/2019 07:55

Imo the fairer system is you each get a proper lie in each week, so if he occasionally goes out on a Saturday night get him to do the Saturday morning shift and you do the Sunday morning shift then you each get a proper lie in every week.

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